


Long Live the Queen

by Cythieus



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bachelorette Party, Best Friends, Blood and Gore, Body Shots, Childhood Friends, Drinking, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, F/F, F/M, First Time, First Time for Everything Fest, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Interracial By Fantasy Standards, Interracial Relationship, Interspecies Relationship(s), Long, Magic, Mario with out aggressive Italian-ness, Marriage, Men Stripping, Movie Reference, Multi, POV First Person, Peach centric, Princess Peach's Butt, Queen Peach, Rough Kissing, Rowdy Best Friend, Strip Tease, Strippers & Strip Clubs, The World from Odyssey, War, Wedding, occasional smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 14:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 87,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14916902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cythieus/pseuds/Cythieus
Summary: Princess Peach must ascend to the throne through the only avenue available to her: marriage. With her kingdom stolen from her and vile force known as the Ruin targeting her friends, she seeks to raise an army and take back what's hers. Join Peach and her companions as they travel to an island controlled by pirates, battle mind controlled agents of Ruin, and plan an epic royal wedding.But why is she in the center of the crosshairs of the Ruin?Who is Rosalina?And how is Peach's magic so potent?





	1. Exile

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally written in third person, but I decided after a bit that it was better in first person. So this is redone to fit that.

Heat. It’s too much for me to open my eyes or breath. I’m going to die here. I’m going to die like this. Long before the fire gets me the smoke inhalation will. Burn to death or suffocate, those are my choices. The tile floor is searing into my skin and if I stay right here too long it will probably do permanent damage. And it won’t be long before my debris falls near me or possibly on me. 

Move Princess. I press my hands to the scorching floor, forcing myself up on my hands and knees. Great wooden beams from overhead crashed down all around the throne, but the sturdy build of the old chair stopped the weight and protected me from being immediately crushed. Now my leg won’t move. 

I glance back through bleary vision to see a section of the wall against the steps of my dais has pinned my leg in place. It doesn’t hurt, but that could either be really good or really bad. I manage to roll over onto my back and start to work my foot free. My gloves and ankle were covered in fresh, blood that honestly felt cool compared to the rest of the throne room.

On the ground a few feet away is my crown. It must be violently hot, but still I snatched up, pushing it into my thick dress to keep it from burning through my gloves. 

When I am back on my feet I search the room for signs of anyone else still moving around. A few of my citizens escaped the room in the initial shockwave that rocked everything, the only person I didn’t see get out for sure was…

“Toadsworth,” I spoke his name outside as soon as I realized that it was him. The body was under a huge stone piece of the castle from the chest down. It must have mashed his head flat into the floors. Fire is all around his body, but there’s no point attempting to get to him. There’s nothing that even I can do. 

My bloody hand goes to my mouth and I’m gasping in air, the smoke chokes me and burns at my throat. But I can’t stop taking these huge, panicked breaths as the tears start to flow. I have to get out of here. I have to get away. My feet are rooted in place. More coughing. 

A searing noise followed by what sounds like shifting ice breaks through the roar of the flames from all over the room. The heat is draining the life right out of me, but I can’t move. I can’t…

The stain glass portrait of me that adorns the high wall above the entry way to the castle is starting to give. It’s shocking the glass held this long. If that air rushes in here the fire is going to find renewed vigor. It’ll certainly strangle out what little life I have left. 

Directly in front of the throne was the exit, but there was no way I was making it to through that door with all of the debris and fire in the way. I didn’t have the necessary space to safely clear the jump it would take to make the jump. 

Instead I run deeper into the castle’s eastern wing, testing the door first to make sure that it isn’t hot. No fire on the other side. I charge through, barreling down the hallway. This part of the castle is mostly unaffected by the falling debris, but the fire has already reached here. For centuries the Toadstool Dynasty had called this place home. The east wing hallway is lined with paintings of each ruler in succession, dating all the way back to the beginning. From my grandmother’s picture down to the end of the hall the heat is so intense that the paint is beginning to run and bubble. 

There’s a spot in the hallway where the fire hasn’t quite reached yet, I slump against the burning hot wall to catch my breath. It’s like my lungs are pulling at the air, but can’t get enough. Every movement stings my throat and my eyes just won’t stop watering. I’ve got to move; got to get out of here. Something heavy and blunt crashes into the side of the castle spraying bricks and dust past me, narrowly missing my face. I tuck my head down against my shoulder to protect my face.

If I stay here the Toadstool Dynasty ends with me. 

With everything that’s left in me I push off of the wall and charge down the hall toward the store rooms and the kitchen. I moved through the room, headed to the far corner where the storeroom was. Once again I check the door for heat and then move through it. 

The air inside is cooler and safer than it had been anywhere else thus far. With the door closed I could buy myself some time, but not much. Towering bags of flour are stacked in one corner and I tip them over to reveal a darkened passageway in the brick. Daisy and I discovered it when we were children. I could barely fit into the hole in the bricks now, thank goodness for corsets. 

This castle won’t easily fall, it’s been here over a millennium, but it will turn into an oven if this fire keeps up. I crawl deeper into the hole, bracing myself for the fall that I know is coming. The walls are broken through with roots that push into this area—it’s been probably fifteen years since Daisy and I last crawled down in to this thing. This crawl space runs below the moat comes out in the back of the groundskeeper’s shed. Hopefully time hasn’t allowed this whole thing to be flooded, otherwise I’ll probably drown. 

My hands and knees are pressed into the walls and I move slowly down he shaft toward my goal at the bottom. Cool liquid laps at my injured ankle, causing it to sting. The water is much too high, but climbing into the castle is out of the question. I can still feel the rumbles of explosions behind me as the fire rages through my home. 

Suffocate one of two ways or burn to death—those aren’t very good choices. I drink in big gulps of air, trying to clear the smoke from my lungs with each exhalation. I plummet into the dark waters and struggle to get deeper down until I hit the floor. My mouth feels like it’s going to fly open at any second and my head is getting hazy. Have to stay conscious. Have to keep my lungs closed. I kick my legs furiously. 

How wide could this moat be? I flush the thoughts from my mind and focus on kicking. I’m fighting against my thick, bell-shaped dress and the icy water. My fingers hit stone and I paddle upward into the shaft.

My face clears the water and I stop to take several panicked breaths while leaning against the wall. I’m still in the cold of the groundskeeper’s shed for so long that I’m afraid I might freeze solid. From one extreme to the other, I’m too wet and it’s too cold out here for me to stay still. 

This shed hasn’t been used in years. There’s a few tools strewn about on the walls and the only source of light is the red-orange glow of the fire outside filtering through the spaces between the wood. Luckily this place is untouched by…whatever happened to the rest of my castle. I crawl out into the center of the floor and pull myself to my feet on the center column of the shed.

I press against the door, but it doesn’t budge. I hit it again, harder this time and it feels like my shoulder joint is going to give, but the pain was short lived. She reared back from the door and slammed into it again. And again. My skin is raw from the extreme hot and cold, the scraping of stones and dirty water.

Still, I hit the door again. And once more. 

There’s a thunderous creak followed by a snap as the doors burst open. My legs go weak and I tumble out into the snow that is packed around the shed. I look around the shed at the Mushroom Palace, the roof glows red against the night sky with the pressure and heat from the conflagration. The spire in the center has collapsed inward and, with it, my stain glass portrait that my father had installed in my honor. 

There’s no going back. Countless people could be injured, at least one is dead, and the fire is too out of control to salvage much of this. These are eventualities that I hadn’t planned for and this attack is on an unprecedented scale. Bowser would never attempt something this brash. Someone wanted her dead, that much was obvious. She couldn’t stay anywhere near the Mushroom Kingdom. She couldn’t make it to Yo'ster Isle without an airship or boat and she definitely wouldn’t make it as far as Sarasaland on foot and the warp pipe was _inside the castle._

Only one option left to take. I make my way to the tree line at the edge of the green around the castle. My teeth won’t stop chattering and I bundle my arms around myself in the hope of staying warm. Normally, I would use my magic to conjure up a small fire, but I’m so tired that any attempt to cast would result in my passing out, which would more than likely lead to me dying. 

The snow crunches underfoot as I move into the forest. I use the trees for support and rest my back against them, careful to check my surroundings for anyone else who escaped or the culprit. 

Behind me the eastern wing, where I escaped, caves in under the stress from the fire. A sharp gasp escapes my throat and I hide my eyes in my hands falling against a tree. My heart is thundering in my ears and I’m light headed. I should give up now. I should just lay down here and die. 

That’s when the darkness comes to life. 

It might have been gradual or all at once, but the snow is gone from beneath me and though I feel the tree I’m leaning against I can see nothing but the black. The darkness moves and swirls like it’s alive. Something slithers past my body and then pulls at me. The little hairs on my arms stand on end and then I’m running. 

My legs pound through the snow and my chest is sore from the cold air and the smoke. My throat is going to freeze. How long before I succumb to hypothermia? How long before there’s a risk of frost bite? 

Can’t think of that now. 

There’s a presence in the darkness, even my untrained magic can sense it. Something tugs at me from nearby and that just causes my legs to pump harder. For a moment the cold air is gone, the wind doesn’t blow, and the smell of pine is absent. Is the forest around me a void? Am I in some other place entirely or is this just an illusion and there’s some risk I’m going to run into a tree?

An oily smell like death itself fills the air causing me to gag. It’s horrible and familiar and I want it over.

In the blink of an eye everything is back to the way it should be. The warp pipe is right ahead of me and the snow is underfoot. I glance back to see nothing but the darkened stalks of the trees. No sign of that shadow. 

I dive head first down the white pipe. Light streams around me in all different colors as I spiraling through the center of a vast expanse. Using a warp zone isn’t like falling, it’s a free floating weightless feeling lacking any discernible temperature. There’s no wind or air movement. 

Then I feel a slight jerk, like I’m being pulled upward by a rope at the waist and I’m laying on my chest in warm, shallow water and staring at a mosaic tile wall with two familiar feet pressed against it. My legs are wrapped around the person I’ve landed on. A person I know to be Mario. 

“What the hell, Peach! You know you can’t use the warp without warning.” The Brooklyn accent and chipper tone confirms I’m laying on who I expected. 

The drain gurgles down water, my coming out of the warp zone opened it. I roll over so that my back is in the water. “Mario.” Where do I start.

He grabs me at the shoulders with warm hands and helps me to sit up into his lap. I’m aware that he’s nude and yelling at me and. I don’t have time to care. “Your skin is all cut up and bruised and you’re cold as death.” 

I’m caked in mud and covered in red sores where my body touched the hot surfaces in my castle. I can’t keep my voice from shaking as I reply. “It’s all gone, Mario.”

“What’s gone? What happened?” His grasp on my arms steadies my shivering. 

He’s the first thing that’s been right this whole night. He’s the first thing I’ve seen that felt like something could ever be normal again. I throw my arms over his shoulders and lace my fingers together behind his neck and I bring my body close to his, the warmth of the water and his chest and his face radiates into me. I know he’s naked right below me, but I’ve also just nearly died and seen one of my long time advisors corpses. 

I push my mouth to his selfishly, leaning against Mario with my full weigh and causing him to catch the edge of the bath tub. His mustache scratched at my face and my skin is already sensitive from the fire only minutes ago. I don’t care.

I had been clear with him in the past about the boundaries between us. Mario wants more from me, it’s just a fact, but he never complains or pushes me. Now I just want something to feel warm. I want anything that isn’t bitter emptiness. 

My lips break away from his and I sink against Mario’s chest, resting my cheek on him. My family’s legacy is gone. My home is destroyed. I’m a ruler with nothing left to rule and the last of my line. 

At the very least I could use what is left of my energy to heal myself. That’s one small thing that I do have control over. 

“What’s gone, Peach? Who did this to you?” Mario asks. 

Blue streams of light swirl around the two of us with glittery particles caught in them. My body begin to mend itself, though it’s slower than normal and I can tell that I am so exhausted. I just want this over. “I don’t know who did this, but it’s my castle…it’s gone, all of it.” My jaw and eyelids become heavy. It’s over, but it’s okay. Mario is here now. 

Mario is here and everything is going to be okay. My world is flipped on its side and everything goes dark. 

* * *

* * *

Mother is the same as I remember her with strawberry blonde hair that cascades down the sides of her face in regal, ringlet curls and pale freckled skin. The crown, broach, and earrings that I wear are heirlooms of hers and they’re all back with their rightful owner, the last true ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, Queen Lavender Toadstool the third. 

She had hated the name and, instead of giving me hers, named me after the Queen who presided over the Great War talked about in tales of old. Every night she serenaded me to sleep with songs of those stories where brave knights clashed with evil dragons and the ancestors of much of the world was united against one cause. 

Much like those old stories, the only way that I get to relive the experiences with my mother are in my head. She comes to me in times of great need or just sometimes to check on me.

From atop our throne Lavender Toadstool glares down at me with a stern piercing gaze. A smile forms on her lips and her expression softens. I remember how she looked at me when she was proud. I remember this. 

“Why are you not ashamed of me?” I demand. “Of what I have wrought to your legacy?”

“You are my legacy. You are all the proof that I need that I was right.” My mother says. “Do you know what I told your father after you were born? I told him you had a tremendous burden and that you needed a strong name to shoulder all that was to come. This is the event I saw coming to pass.”

“What is it though? Who is doing this?” I ask. What am I doing? This isn’t real. “You’re only my imagination—you can’t tell me anything I don’t know.”

“I don’t know what the outcome will be, only the there will be a great struggle to come. I only hope that I have given you the tools you will need.” The Queen rose from her throne, her frilly violet dress rustling against the glowing white floors as she walked down the steps toward Peach and wrapped her arms around her. “Daughter of mine, we had so little time together and now you’re being tested. Show them who you are.” 

A bleary unfamiliar ceiling with a lazily rotating fan. Instinct is that I’ve been kidnapped, but Bowser’s castle doesn’t have any rooms like this. The sound of car horns and engines in traffic filter in through a partially open window along with a wind. It takes a few moments to remember. “Mario?” I ask sitting up cautiously. My back is a tight bundle of painful knots. 

“Take it easy there, Dolcezza.” His little pet name for me. He’s at my side in an instant surveying my face and body. “You passed out after that spell. I had the girl next door get you into some comfortable clean clothes—boy, that took some explaining on my part.” Mario picks up a plastic cup covered in pictures of little cartoon dogs and thrusts it into my hands. “Water, drink up.” 

The clothes I’m wearing now must have belonged to the person who assisted Mario: a loose fitting tank top with the words ‘I’m a Pepper’ across the front and a pair of shorts that I would consider underwear. Even with all that’s going on I can’t help but smile. “Thank you for…always being there.” 

“For you it’s nothing, but what’s got you spooked?” Mario pulls a rolling stool closer and sits down. 

“The castle was attacked and possibly the whole Mushroom Kingdom. Toadsworth is…gone and I don’t know how many other casualties. The whole place just collapsed around me and I barely got out alive.” I take a big gulp of water. “I don’t know who would do this. Who would try to kill me and just blow my castle up?”

“Try to kill you? How did they—I mean what kind of attack?” Mario asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. The moment it started the roof just fell on me and there was fire everywhere.”

Mario is silent for a long time. “Your leg was hurt when you got here, is that how it happened?” 

I nod. “It must have been worse than I thought or I’m more worn out, because it still kind of hurts.” 

He cradles my leg in both hands, raising it up and plants a gentle kiss below the knee. “Hope this helps. I know it’s not much, but anything you need Luigi and I are here.” 

“Thank you, I could really use some food if you have anything?” My fingers find his on the edge of the bed. 

“Sure, what do you feel like?” 

“Oh goodness, anything really. I just feel like—like I haven’t eaten in weeks.” I glance down at my lap, trying to find the right words. “But can you just order delivery, I’d like to ask you another favor.”

“Sure, Dolcezza, what’s that?”

“Can you sleep with me.” The moment the words leave my lips a short gasp follows them out. Worrying about semantics at a time like this was at the very least a waste of time, but it causes me to get all flustered none the less. “No. Sorry. Sleep _next_ to me, like, in me. No. No, that’s not what I mean…as in ‘in this bed with me’.” The words spill out of my mouth until I’ve said something close enough to what I actually want. 

Mario politely nods and refrains from teasing me. It’s like there’s something in my brain that flips and turns me from a classy stateswoman into a blabbering idiot sometimes. He knows it by this point. And it doesn’t help that I’ve chosen to abide by the law that says a Princess should remain chaste until marriage and know no man intimately. I’ve followed that—mostly. There were some incidents when I was a kid that…we won’t get into. And for the most part Mario and I kissed and, if I’m feeling bold, I’ll sit on his lap with only our clothes to separate us. _Oh, Peach, you mad lass!_ Real risqué, I know. 

Make fun all you want, but this has been enough for me and he is happy to abide. He never questions my reasoning, he just trusts that I know what I want. 

And that he loves me enough for the wait to be worth it. 

“Sure. I’ll get started on making that order,” he says. “Any preference?” 

I shake my head as Mario backs out of the room. I lay back in the bed staring at the blank TV set mounted on the wall opposite the bed, I can see my reflection in the glossy screen. Who is this new me? Her castle and her Kingdom will be lost to her if they hadn’t already. What is a Toadstool without her seat of power? Who am I?

The Mushroom Kingdom had stood for centuries under the same power structure—a matriarchy run by Toadstools where a Princess ascended to the throne if there was certain requirements met. 

I flop onto my back as Mario places the delivery order in the other room. The wall and the squeak of the ceiling fan muffle his voice enough that there’s no way to hear him clearly. When the call is finished he walks into another part of the apartment and I hear a metal door slam. He comes back after a few minutes and crawls into the bed next to me. “Is it okay if I…?” Mario motions to wrap his arms around me. 

Before he can actually reach me, I roll over to meet him and press my body so that it’s touching his from the waist down. He studies my face like he’s seeing it for the very first time. 

“I don’t know how, but I’m going to take my kingdom back.” I whisper. I don’t know why. 

“Your kingdom would never turn away from you. They love you.” 

“They might not have a choice in the matter.” I sigh. “This would be easier if I was Queen. I could go to New Donk and just evoke the powers of Grand Kami and…get my home back…”

“Why aren’t you Queen?” Mario asks like the question had never occurred to him. 

“We don’t crown a Queen just because someone is there.” It occurs to me how rude this must sound and I soften my voice to compensate. “There’s traditions to uphold. The problem is that I need to be a Queen to assemble a session in the World Parliament. They wouldn’t allow a Princess to represent her kingdom.”

“That’s backwards.”

“It’s a precautionary measure meant to keep an heir from starting a coup, but my father has been gone for…a long while now and my mother died when I was small.” Mario had met my father, but my mother was dead long before he came to the Mushroom Kingdom. I don’t often talk about either of them anymore. 

“Why don’t you do whatever it is you need to so that you can ascend to the throne?” Mario asks. 

“Two of the ways require that I be able to hold sessions with advisors and citizens—the third…well,” I stare at Mario with my bottom lip held lightly between her teeth. “Good night, Mario.” I curl up against his chest in the hopes that he’ll let the conversation die here. 


	2. Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I thought that I could passively drift through life as what I've always been. It was time to do away with the dreams a child and face up to reality."

My heart is thundering in my ears when I wake up. The room is almost dark, but a neon red sign outside is painting everything a reddish tint. Whatever I dreamt that woke me up must have been bad. My fingers tremble as I roll the covers back, being careful not to disturb Mario. I watch for any change in his expression; his mouth is a little oval and his breathing is a rhythmic inhale followed by a little squeaky exhale. 

I watch him for a bit, frozen with one foot off the side of the bed trying to take in the man that I’ve been seeing for the past several years. He knew me as a bratty late teen, barely an adult. He was in his mid-twenties and had been working construction and just got into plumbing when the Mushroom Kingdom thing happened. 

The trembling in my hands is gone. I slip my thin legs out of the bed feeling for the floor below me. My toes touch first and there’s a creaky board right where I step. Mario doesn’t move, so I climb the rest of the way out in a hurry, but leave a little hole at the top of covers for me to slide back into. 

“Peach…” Mario’s voice seems absent and distant, still I turn to see that he isn’t moving. Is he dreaming about me? What kinds of things go on in his head when he’s alone with his thoughts? 

I keep a few spare clothes here, not my fancy royalty style dresses, but the ones that Luigi helped me pick out from stores with names like _Forever Twenty-One_ and _Nordstrom Rack_. Earth styles are more revealing than I’m used to, but I’m not above experimentation. Today it’s going to be a pink sundress with white trim at the bottom adorned with peaches—when I saw it I knew I had to have it. 

There’s a steady misting rain outside so I throw a red water resistant coat on over the whole outfit and put on my knee high boots (both of which I picked out) and slip out the front door. 

A few streets over there’s this little shop, a bodega Mario had called it. They sold sandwiches and drinks that were like nothing in the Mushroom Kingdom. I’d get something sweet from there to calm my nerves and maybe one of those sandwiches that Mario taught me how to order. 

The bottom floor of the apartment building is mostly devoted to a pub that’s door spills out right next to the lobby. The smell of stale alcohol and what I suspect is urine hangs in the air. Eager to get away from _that_ , I head in the direction I remember the store being.

Everything is soaked, but the rain is light. It must have started hours ago—maybe even before I came through the warp zone. I linger under the awning for a moment, I could listen to the steady sound of the drops hitting the cloth forever and never tire of it. Before I dart out into the rain I pull my collar up against the wind. Water filters down through the grooves in the sidewalk, running into the gutter like small tributaries into a stream. 

Lines of cars block the first intersection that I come to and I pause near the light pole, dipping my hands into the warm dryness of my pockets. A resounding pop fills the air and the rain above me stops, a sound like water hitting taunt fabric replacing it. I glance over to see a dark skinned man holding out his umbrella to keep me dry. He smiles a big, wide smile and points to my hair. “If your hair gets wet this early in the morning, it’ll never get dry!” He yells over a driver laying on their horn. 

“Thank you.” It’s honestly a little shocking. When I’m over here there’s talk of people in New York being rude and it’s a stereotype you hear in the shows and movies I’ve seen here too. Mean is everywhere—it’s so easy to be callous, cruel, and uncaring. It takes little effort to simply be mean. People recall the bad that is done to them so readily, but they overlook even the most selfless of kindnesses. 

Shaking hands with a stranger you’ve just met is considered polite—she didn’t get into the big city much. New Donk was usually reserved for parliamentary business and the Mushroom Kingdom had no larger cities of it’s own. Besides, the culture here was much different. 

“I’m Princess Peach Toadstool,” I offer out my hand and it dawns on me that I’ve said Princess. New York doesn’t have princesses. 

He laughs, just rolling with the idea and shakes my hand. “Okay—I’m Ned. It’s short for Edward, but people just call me Ned.” 

“Ned. That’s an interesting nickname. I like it.” 

“Yeah, people always bring up that show _Game of Thrones_ when they first meet me now. Kind of unfortunate because I was here first.” A slight vocal cue lets me know he’s joking here. I can’t really explain what it is about his tone of voice, but so many of the same social cues exist here as in my world. I have no idea what _Game of Thrones_ is though. 

The light changes from green to red and we walk across. The water pooling around the drainage splashes up against the sides of my boot as I trudge through it. Ned sets his pace to mine to keep me from getting wet. 

“You must be headed to work to be out here this early?” He asks. 

“I’m sort of…unemployed.” That’s the earth term for it, right? “I just left the apartment to go to this bodega. I just love the sandwiches there and they have this strange drink I like, it’s like lemon and lime and it’s all bubbly. It’s called Sprite, I think?” 

Ned chuckles and the umbrella shakes. “Yeah, I’ve heard of Sprite. My son actually loves those sandwiches for breakfast. That’s why I’m headed there.” 

“Well, I’m happy to have the company.” I bend my arm, presenting my elbow to him. He gives me the kind of smile that shows genuine surprise and weaves his arm through mine. 

We stop at another light. “You’re not from around here, are you?” 

My hand is at my lips. “Is it that easy to tell?” 

“Kind of.” 

Not sure what to say to that. “I’m just staying with my boyfriend. He’s still sleep—I probably worried him sick showing up out of the blue last night…”

“Nah, I’m sure he was happy to see you on his doorstep.” In his bath tub drain, really. “If you’re not around often then anytime he gets with you is probably precious.” 

Ned makes a lot of sense. We cross the street now and the bodega is right there. I can already smell the coffee wafting out on the warm air. The inside is cramped, but in a homey kind of way with long rows of different products running off to the side of the door and the counter and store clerk on the immediate right of the entrance. The drinks are in the back by the coolers and the sandwiches are straight across. 

This is where Ned and I part ways. I don’t want to tie up a stranger’s morning more than I have to, but he’s been so nice to me. “Thank you for the umbrella and the advice. Oh, you can get your sandwich first. There’s someone waiting on you and all.” 

“You’re welcome. Thank you for the company, but there’s someone waiting on you too.”

I glance at the wall where the drink machine absently. “It’s fine really—I have to make my Sprite selection. There’s an option to add other flavors to the Sprite here. I might be a while.” 

“Oh, okay.” He gives me a little nod and a wink and heads toward the sandwich line. I make my way to the drink machine and grab a small cup so that I can taste my options. Orange, lemon, lime are like cousins, but grape might add an interesting dimension to this whole thing. Oh, it says here that I can even do multiple flavors. Sheesh. 

A bell rings signifying the door being opened but I don’t see who comes in. Grape is going to have to do it for today, don’t want to get too crazy. Ned is already getting his sandwich and heading for the counter when I turn around and there’s a new man standing in the aisle directly across from the counter looking at something on a bag. 

“You going to order something?” The woman at the deli calls my attention back to the task at hand. 

“I apologize. I’d like a sandwich.” 

“Come on, what kind, Blondie?” 

“Oh, um, beef with provolone, tomatoes, mayonnaise…oh and some of that dee-join mustard.” I think that’s how it’s pronounced. 

“What kind of bread?”

“Whatever’s best.” 

The woman rolls her eyes and mutters something in another language, but she goes to working making my sandwich. Off to the side of the ordering window is a little metal carousel that holds small bags of what appear to be chips of different variety. I pick up one with a brilliant blue bag. “Cool Ranch? Must be the farm where they grow the corn…” 

Something behind me slams into something else and there’s a thud on the floor hard enough that I swear I feel it. I drop the snack onto the counter and look back. The man who walked in last is standing over Ned, who is on the floor. He’s got a gun and is aiming it around wildly. He trains the weapon on the clerk. “Nobody moves unless I tell them to, got it?” The robber leans in close to the counter. “Start putting money in this bag, now!” He slings a folded up canvas bag out of his coat and onto the register. 

I move my head to get a better look at the robber. “You don’t have to do this.” The steps to turn around are uneasy and he aims the gun at me now. My hands are trembling as they ascend up until they’re level with my shoulders. “Look, things might be hard for you, but stealing from honest people and hurting others doesn’t really solve the problem. It just shifts it and think about how you feel, do you want someone else to feel that?” 

He rushes toward me and sticks the gun against my chest, pushing hard. “You don’t know how I feel, bitch. You’re probably sucking some man dry for all he’s worth, just so you can leave him and hop onto the next spot on the cock-carousel and do it again!” 

The robber backs me down the counter toward the coffee maker and I don’t think he’s going to listen to reason. He might even shoot me. Ned is hurt and I don’t know how bad and the clerk is still filling the money bag. I don’t know what to do, but I’m tired of not doing anything while others have everything taken from them. It’s my duty to keep people safe, maybe this wasn’t my kingdom—but it was the shop owner’s and it was a place that Ned came and where the mean lady who made sandwiches worked.

The clerk pushes the register closed and it dings and the robber turns to look. I step forward so that his gun arm is under my arm and aimed down past my body and reach over for the coffee pot. It’s the nearest thing. 

He turns back in time to get a face full of hot coffee. The gun clatters to the floor and the robber stumbles back screaming. I swing the pot by the handle hitting him in the face with it and causing the thin glass to shatter on impact. Jagged shards of glass stuck out of one side of his face and he seemingly couldn’t stop screaming. 

The store clerk must have been waiting for any oppurtunity. He rushes out from behind the counter with a little thin black strip of some type and uses it to secure the robbers hands. He uses another one on his feet. 

I run to Ned’s side and touch his shoulder. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, thanks to you, Peach. You’re a hero.”

“I’m really not.” This whole thing makes me uneasy, but I couldn’t just look away. I help him to his feet with my hand on his back. While it’s there I let healing energy stream through my body into his. The power is tiring, but it’s something that every Toadstool has had the power to do, to varying degrees. I’m not the most practiced, but every little bit helps. 

Ned rubs a spot between his shoulders, though he smiles as if everything is okay. I grab my sandwich, the Cool Ranch snack, and the Grape-Sprite, dropping a few coins on the counter as I do. “Will this cover it?” 

“This is not real money, crazy blonde lady, but you saved the store. Sandwich and drink is on us.” The woman hands my coins back. 

“Thank you.” I walk over to Ned. “You sure you’re going to be okay?” 

“Yeah, he hit me in the neck and it feels a lot better already, but thanks for asking.”

“Thanks for letting me share your umbrella. I’ll see you around,” I tell him as I walk out of the store. 

The robber has been wailing this whole time and he yells as he hears me leaving. “You’re just going to let her go? That stupid bitch assaulted me!” 

This was what I needed to know—I need to get back to my people and do my duty there. No one else is going to look out for them and it is a responsibility my family took upon themselves and one that I swore to uphold. 

* * *

* * *

Strings of wet hair cling to my cheeks and lay in a flat sopping mass on top of my shoulders. I ran the few blocks back here without the aid of Ned and his umbrella while hurriedly eating my sandwich. When I open the door to the apartment Mario and Luigi is standing on the tile floor of the kitchen with intense expressions. Their faces are so similar. Sometimes it seems like they’re not twins and others…

“Oh, you’re both awake,” I say as wipe my boots on the small rug and push the door closed with my foot. 

“Yeah, because we thought you’d been princess-napped again. We didn’t have any idea where you went!” Luigi’s usually fair facial skin is reddish brown and his hair is slicked down with stress sweat.

With a labored sigh I let my hands sink to my sides, pushing down with them any desire to act on what I am feeling. “Oh, well I thought that since I’m a grown woman that it would be fine if I went out and got something to eat. I do not appreciate being treated like a child.” Maybe some of the attitude still slipped out. 

“Look, we were just worried,” Mario says. “There’s another problem though.” 

“What do you mean?” I pull the paper that wraps my sandwich up to crinkle it around the exposed part of the bread and slide the whole thing onto the counter. 

“We thought that maybe you had gone back through the warp zone to check on the castle, so we tried to follow you and it doesn’t work.”

“What do you mean ’it doesn’t work’?” I ask.

Luigi cuts in to speak. “It’s just a regular pipe now, like someone closed the warp zone part of it off.” 

I sit my Sprite aside and head for the bathroom. “Warp zones are naturally occurring—no one knows how and many of them are ancient. It would take tremendous power to remove one or block it…” I push into the bedroom and into the bathroom, kicking off my boots to stand in the bathtub over the drain. 

Nothing happens. 

Typically after a few seconds standing on the drain you’re pulled down into the pipes and taken to the Mushroom Kingdom pipe that exists right outside of my castle. My fingers dig into my palms in anticipation. “This is impossible.” 

Mario punches his hand into his fist and there’s that same determination in his eyes that I saw when he first rescued me from Bowser. “It’s a minor setback. We’ll find some other way to get there. There has to be more than one warp zone. That’s true, Bowser’s gotten here before and he didn’t come through this bathroom. 

In the last few years Mario has stood by me through every crisis and calamity that’s befallen me. This wasn’t the life I saw myself having and I’m glad for him being in it. As a young girl only cared about finding a handsome prince to marry like in the stories. I grew into humility after Mario met me. He held me while I grieved for my father and we looked after each other when we were sick to the point that we usually both ended up sick (and he’s the biggest baby about it). 

The secret to saving my people and taking back my kingdom has been right there all along. They don’t need a princess. A princess is little more than a figure head. There’s very little action that I can take unilaterally and people are inclined to ignore you. A princess is a position of weakness and I’ve been letting my people down by not seeing this sooner. It’s time to put away the aspirations of a child and face up to reality. 

Yet a strange calmness washes over me like a balmy breeze. I reach for Mario’s arm, grabbing hold of his shoulder to steady myself as I step out of the tub. The bottom of my socks got wet so I slip them off on the bathroom rug. 

“You’re right. We’ll find a way back.” My hand closes around Mario’s. “Will you come sit with me out here, Mario. I suppose Luigi needs to hear this too.” The pair of them followed me out to the couch in the living room to sit down. The television was on some game show and just loud enough to be distracting. I mute it place the remote at my side. “Okay.” 

This isn’t rehearsed and though part of the job description is public speaking it’s different speaking to one very special person. I rest my hands on my knees and sigh. On second though, I pull Mario’s hand into my lap, cradling it between my much smaller hands. Our eyes meet and he smiles up at me. Yeah, this is the right thing to do. 

“You’ve been so nice to me and helped me…more times than I can count. You’re kind, selfless, and brave—both of you are really. But Mario, it’s not fair to you what we have. I’m supposed to be with nobility and you probably want a partner who isn’t a target for kidnappings and assassinations. It’s unfair of me to ask and goes against tradition, but tradition has been little more than a noose around my neck…”

“What are you saying? Are you trying to…end things with me?” Mario’s hand shakes between mine and his demeanor and eyes change. There’s raw terror in his expression. 

“No, no, no. The furthest thing from it. I’m asking you to marry me, you idiot.” I hit his arm playfully. “I’ve postponed this long enough and I wasn’t being fair to you or, frankly, myself. I’ve wanted this for a long time and it’s the only way I can become Queen at this point. If there’s anything left to be Queen of.” 

“Ga-ga-ga-uh this is a lot to take in,” Luigi stutters. “Mario, you wouldn’t just be marrying Miss Pompinello’s daughter from across the street when we were kids, you know, that one that had the mustache—we’re talking about you being King of a country. That’s…”

“Huge.” Mario finishes his brother’s sentence. “I’d be lying if I said the whole thing isn’t daunting, but Peach is worth it. You’re intelligent, funny, beautiful, kind…sexy…” he trails off. 

The last item in that list isn’t something I’ve ever expected to hear about myself. “If you say so.” 

“M-Mario, Hakim’s bodega is on the TV.” Luigi points at the screen and Mario turns to look. “Is that you, Princess?”

“Oh. That’s where I went earlier. A man had a weapon and tried to rob them and I hit him with a coffee pot. They gave me free food because of it.” I explain this before taking another bite of my sandwich. 

Luigi hops over the back of the couch and lands squatting next to me. He unmutes the TV. “Well, it looks like they’re calling you a hero.” 

“I don’t really think it matters all that much…” 

“She was the prettiest woman and really sweet. Told me her name was Peach Toadstool,” the voice on the TV says. I turn to see Ned beaming at the camera, red and blue lights flash in the distance behind him. “She even claimed she was a princess,” he chuckles. 

“What do you want to say to this Princess Toadstool if she’s out there listening?” Asks the off screen reporter. 

“I get to see my kid again because of you. Thank you.” 

“Woo! That’s my Dolcezza!” Mario pumps his fist up into the air above his head.

Luigi claps his hands. “You stopped an armed robber?” 

I nod, taking a long sip of Sprite. “So, is that a yes, Mario?” I ask. 

He turns, taking my hand in his and stares into my eyes. “Yes.” 


	3. Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can guess where this is going. It’s not the most fascinating thing to describe and you probably don’t want to hear me ooo-ing and aww-ing."

The pizza slice pulls away from my lips leaving the searing pain of hot cheese and sauce in my mouth. It hurts bad enough that I can barely taste the food, Mario tried to warn me. After the shock of my proposal wore off, Luigi insisted that we celebrate. He took me shopping for this sleek red dress and suggested that we go out for my favorite food: pizza. 

Grimaldis is this place’s name and they’ve have chosen right, because it’s amazing. 

And the food is a welcome distraction from worrying about if my people are in bondage or worse or if I’ll ever be able to get back home to find out. I keep my smile up because it’s what I’ve always done. Mario and Luigi and a whole kingdom depend on me being level headed. 

Luigi folded his slice together and took a bite out to it, some sauce clung to his mustache. “How much work do you need to do to make preparations for the nuptials?” He asks. 

“It needs to be official. We can’t rush any of it. And it has to take place in my world since there needs to be the right kind of witnesses and all that. Daisy of course will be my right hand and I’m sure Mario is going to have you as his—“ at my mention of Daisy Luigi looks sad and I wonder if something has happened. 

Mario didn’t seem to notice. “This is going to be difficult to explain to you-know-who,” he says eyeing Luigi.

“Who?”

Luigi shakes his head. “Mama hasn’t ever liked any girls we’ve brought home. She flung a spoon full of pesto and olive oil right on my prom date’s dress. I swear she did it intentionally.” 

“There’s a story that goes,” Mario starts before plucking a loose sausage off the pan and eating it. “When mama and dad were still in high school he kissed another girl when he first started seeing her. She found out and beat him and the girl up. After that he was begging for a second chance.” 

“Don’t let it freak you out though,” Luigi says. 

Too late for that. I steer the conversation away from terrifying stories. “Where do you think we should have it?” 

Mario nods. “New Donk, big city, hard for Bowser or anyone else to sneak in and muck things up,” he says around a bite of pizza. 

“New Donk is fine and it’s wonderful that you’re taking security into consideration, but Mario, Bowser is going to probably be there of my own accord.”

“What, why?” asks Luigi.

“He’s a ruler of the Koopas and as a king he has a right to request to be there. We could insist and fight him on it, but it won’t be worth all of the commotion.” There’s something brewing beneath the surface that Mario still wants to say, but when things get like this he’ll usually drop them. “I can try to stop him from being there, if that’s what you really want.” I’m overly diplomatic. Maybe I give too much.

Mario shakes his head. “I understand customs are customs.” 

“It’s just—there was a time after the Great War where all the Kingdoms stood together. The Koopa Kingdom and the Mushroom Kingdom were allies and the goombas were a migrant tribe within the Mushroom Kingdom.” I touch my hand to my chest. “You have this idea of me as the Toadstool ruler, but going back hundreds of years there have been many princesses and queens and some of them did terrible things. My grandmother, my mother, and I have tried to carry on the cycle of healing…”

“Hey-hey, we get it. We’re Americans, we know a thing or two about conflicting morality,” Luigi says.

Maybe I got too invested in my lecture. Breath deep. Exhale. “I don’t want to make everyone feel miserable. I’m just explaining…” 

Mario’s warm hand finds mine under the table. No gloves and nothing between us. No matter what happens that’s going to be us some day. Husband and wife. King and Queen. 

* * *

* * *

After dinner Mario and I went for a walk. Luigi eventually caught a ride home, but the rest of the night if anyone brought up Daisy he seemed sad. It slowly dawned on me that like the Mushroom Kingdom, Daisy was out of reach. We had no idea of knowing if she was okay.

Goodness. What if this enemy posed a threat to the whole world or could even reach out to the Earth?

“We’ve got to find another warp zone,” I say pulling Mario around until he is facing me. “I just wish there was some clue where to look.”

He kisses me, despite the garlic breath. “We’ll find something. For now the best thing you can do is rest.” 

Rest is about the last thing I can think of right now. 

“We’ll figure out who did this, but I want you to promise me you’ll be careful,” Mario adds. 

“I have to. I have people depending on me.” 

Brooklyn at night is beautiful. It reminds me of some of the outlying areas of New Donk. The continuous rains earlier left the streets wet and reflections from the lights sparkles back up at us as we stroll down the block. In the distance there’s a siren that dies out. I really have no idea how far away home is without the warp zone, but I’m shocked at how much Earth is like it. Rain has the same smell, people have the same look, we speak the same language, it’s uncanny. 

The silence in the air feels like a rope being pulled tighter and tighter until it’s impossibly tight. Every moment that I say nothing it becomes harder to say anything. Now that Luigi’s gone there’s something I need to tell Mario. What was it? A rhythmic clicking echos from somewhere nearby. Off to my right I see its source: a white carriage with a pattern of raised metal vines decorating the sides being drawn by two gorgeous white horses. The horses shake and their pristine manes flop around. The driver is in a tuxedo and top hat with a red scarf wrapped about his neck.

I watch dumbfounded while they approach. By the time they’re along side me Mario’s hand wraps around my waist. Took him a bit to catch up. The driver pulls back on the reigns to bring them to an abrupt stop. “How are you doing on this lovely night?” 

“Oh Mario, they’re simply wonderful!” I turn to him, clasping my hands together on his shoulder and forgetting my manners. 

“Thank you,” the driver says despite this. 

“We’re doing fine ourselves. How much is it for a ride?” Mario asks. 

“Supposed to charge more for walk-ups,” the driver says before turning to look at me. “But I’d hate to ruin a smile on such a beautiful face, so I’ll give you the booked rate of sixty-nine dollars—don’t have anyone booked right now anyway.”

Mario reaches into the jacket pocket of his suit and fishes out a little clip with the kind of paper money that they use over here. He counts to eighty by twenty.

The driver steps down from his position and walks along the front side of the carriage to comfort the two horses. He gets close to them, speaking in a docile tone before coming back toward us. “My name is Jeff and I’ll be your chauffeur this evening,” he shakes Mario’s hand, taking the money, and then takes my fingers lightly and gives a little bow. 

It’s funny the kind of things that can set something off inside of you. Jeff helps me into the carriage first and it’s like I’m watching it all from the outside. The carriage seats are lavish purple velvet and the doors and the walls are lined with pillowy leather. Everything reminds me of status. Of position. Of royalty. 

The drive goes on for several minutes and I try to look out across the city or find some distraction. “Are you okay?” Mario asks. I’m making some face, aren’t I?

I nod at him, though it’s taking everything in me not to bawl my eyes out. “I’m so happy about us finally…taking this big step and I’m just happy I have you, but how can I be happy with all that’s going on? I feel guilty to be enjoying anything.” I keep my voice down so as not to alert Jeff. 

“Oh, I know the feeling. It’s kind of like a…uh…survivor’s guilt,” Mario says. “Friend of mine died of a heart attack several year ago—he didn’t even believe in using butter. Everything was lard. Anyway, I was real tore up. Luigi urged me to get up and go see this movie with him. It was a raunchy comedy thing and after a few minutes of trying so hard not to, I laughed until I cried. That’s when my little brother told me a friend wouldn’t have wanted me sad. And he’s right, he’d have called me chicken-shit if he saw me moping around like that.” Mario chuckled.

I give him a little peck on the cheek. “Thank you for always knowing the right thing.” There’s a moment where I know I need to tell him something, or maybe ask him. “Back there, did you and Luigi mean to scare me about your mother?” 

“Ho-ho-oh no. That woman has a mouth on her and she’s not taking bologna off of anyone, including my brother and me. Once you get to know her and you’re in, she’s kind as can be, but before that…” Mario just trails of making a face like he’s whistling real hard. 

“And you don’t think I can wow her?” I ask. 

“I’m honestly scared she’ll get to know you and tell you that you’re too good for me!”

“Oh, Mario,” I say before flopping over to rest my head in his lap. “I already know I’m too good for you.” I roll over to face him from below with this little innocent grin. It’s apparently something that I’m good at, looking vacant, vain, or overly naive. Mario eats it up and he’s laughing so hard that I’m laughing now. I try to stifle the worst of it behind my hand. But it just gets worse and there are tears running down my cheeks dampening his slacks. 

“I love you, Mario.” I get the words out as the last fits of laughter are dying out in me. 

“I love you too.” He dries the paths created by the tears away and lifts me only slightly to meet his lips. We have said these words in the past, but never with this kind of intensity. The first time I gambled with the idea was after something so simple. He helped me paint my toenails. I liked to do it myself despite there being servants all around. But he insisted and he was doing it and talking to me about nothing, I realized ‘he loves me’ and I said it first. 

That was simple, it didn’t have this raw weight to it the way the words did now. Someone or something had tried to kill me days ago and the chance to say those three words again that meant so much. But there is a lot I needed to reiterate to him. A traditional ruler’s wedding starts during the day and then transitions into this party and while the party is still going on the bride and groom retreat to a room prepared by close friends and family. It is expected that the consummation of the marriage will take place with witnesses, I wasn’t about to bring that part of the tradition back. My mother and her mother had both refused to do that part too. Mario would be expected to have an active role in government, though I can’t see him being an idle king. He hasn’t been idle since I’ve known him. 

“I know we won’t have time right away,” Mario starts. “But when things are settled where would you like to go for a honeymoon?”

It takes me a second to realize what he’s actually saying. “Definitely not Delfino Island.” 

“I think they still believe that I did it,” Mario says. “They were pretty quick to accuse me anyway and when it was all done you guys just went on about your vacation like it was no big deal.” 

“You didn’t expect a Princess to clean up sludge, did you?” I reply dryly. “And it wasn’t all fun and games for me, Bowser Jr. thinks I’m his mom.”

“You’re just going to have to remind me when it’s our weekend to watch him,” says Mario. 

I roll over to press her face against Mario’s stomach. “Don’t play like that!” 

He laughs and brings his face down close to mine and just stares for what feels like forever. I freeze, watching him to see what he was trying to do. Did he want to kiss me? Was this something else?

And I just go for the first thing that comes to mind and pop up to nip him on the tip of the nose. He jumps back holding his face. “You bit me!” He says in a small voice. 

I slap my hands over my mouth. “My goodness, I’m so sorry. I’m not sure what—“

Mario’s lips cut the rest of my sentence off. The sound drains out of the world around me until the only thing left is my heart hammering in my ears. My body is ridged and stiff, but it was like I slowly melted into Mario’s lap until all of me is just warm. He broke the kiss off first and I spring up in the carriage seat next to him. I immediately pull him close again, kissing him on the nose and then whispering to him over the gentle clop-clop, clop-clop of the horses hooves. “Did you have anything else planned for tonight?” I ask, my face as close to his as it can be without kissing.

“I figured that we would play things by ear, we can do whatever you want, though,” Mario says.

“I’d like to go back to your place. I have something to show you.” Mario’s eyes search my face for some deeper meaning to my words. 

“W-Whatever you want.” The calloused skin of his thumb brushes against my cheek, making a path below my eye. He pulls his fingers back through my hair and I don’t know why, but it feels amazing for some reason. 

He continues stroking my hair, pushing his fingers up the side of my face. Another kiss, this time with his lips pressed tight to mine. My heart thunders against my chest until the point that I can feel it thumping in my temples and through my hands. 

This is the perfect night. I don’t deserve it. A ruler that can’t protect the people under her charge doesn’t deserve anything. I rest my head on Mario’s shoulder, silently watching as we pass a beautiful park cut out of the middle of the city. Across the shimmering black water of a wide river dots of light shine like constellations in the shape of buildings. New York, Mario called it. I’ve never been into the heart of it, but it seems familiar. 

The gentle swaying of the carriage, the sound of the hooves on the ground. My eye lids are heavy, I just need a second.

* * *

* * *

There’s a far off rumble of something like thunder and darkness. I’m breathing, but I don’t feel my body or any sense of place or time. I drift through the black. 

Someone is speaking in a singsong voice, but I can’t make it out. Their garbled words are loud enough, but it’s like my mind is blocked, like something is keeping me from getting the final piece of the puzzle. The tune sounds so familiar, like something I heard when I was little. 

“Peach. Peach. Princess?” Mario’s voice cut through the murky black fog, but I’m unable to will myself to answer. 

That nursery rhyme tune plays on a loop and then I see a spire in the blackness rising high into the sky.

_The ruin rests in jagged peaks_

_For’ver guarded where dragon sleeps_

_The Old King ruin ruled us all_

_Til Toadstool did see that it all falled_

“Peach, Dolcezza, wake up!” 

Mario is standing over me with his arms beneath me and ready to pick me up. He’s carried me before, though I fear this time that it might be because of how sleepy I am. The night air and the lights sting in my eyes and I try to rub the sensation away. 

“Oh, sorry, Mario. I didn’t realize how tired…” I slap a hand over my mouth to yawn. “…how tired I was.” Before I can protest he lifts me off of the seat and carries me down from the carriage. I laugh, but this is a little much, especially given that I’m just sleepy. “Please, put me down. It’s fine.”

Mario carefully stands me up on the sidewalk and steadies me with his hands. The driver, Jeff, is standing nearby. “Thank you both for joining me,” he says. “It’s been a pleasure.” 

“Surely, Jeff the pleasure is all ours,” I say. “I apologize for falling asleep in your carriage so brazenly.” 

Jeff smiles. “As long the rest was what you needed it’s fine by me.” He climbs back into the front after shaking Mario’s hand and is off down the street. There’s another rumble in the distance. We head inside of the building hand and hand. 

“I should sleep better tonight.” This is my first thought after just waking up from a nap. 

“You always sleep better when it’s raining,” Mario replies. He is the first into the apartment, peeking around the door before stepping in. “Luigi?” He whispers. “Are you awake?” 

Ambient light from the large, wide window filters in painting the edges of everything in a blueish-purple. The apartment is silent except for the hum of the heater. Luigi’s room door at the far end of the hallway is closed and there’s no sign of light from inside. The dishes are put away and the kitchen area is clean, just the way Luigi always leaves it. 

I run my finger along the painted wall until I feel the the edge of the doorway. With a gentle, flat handed push, I close the front door and lock it. “There.” When I turn around Mario is going for the light switch, but I run to grab his arm. “Can we just keep it like this?” I ask. 

“You said you needed to show me something, though.” 

There’s a shelf across from the door set into the wall. Though it’s dark I know exactly the location of what I’m looking for. At eye level is a small oval shaped locket. I lift it with care, holding the locket in my hands. It’s cold to the touch. This is probably the longest that I’ve ever been without it, but it would draw attention on the streets here. 

There’s a latch on the bottom of it where it opens and, unlike the lockets that hold a picture or some other small keepsake, this one holds two rings. I remove the bigger of the two from the where it’s nestled in next to it’s partner. “This belonged to my father and my mother’s is still inside of here. He would have wanted you to have it.” I take his hand in mine and press the ring into it. 

Mario clutches his hand right around the ring. “Peach, I don’t know what to say.” 

“You’ve already said it. You’re going to be my King and I’ll be your Queen.” My eyes turn toward the floor. “I only hope that I’m enough to save the Mushroom Kingdom.” 

He reaches out and grabs me by the back of the head and kisses me hard on the face. “You’re always enough.” We stayed locked together. Mario moves to kissing the side of my neck and it catches me off guard. The sound I let out isn’t quite a moan and I reach back over Mario’s shoulder and wrap my arm around so that my hand is on the back of his head. 

My body is warm all over and it’s hard to concentrate on what I need to say. “Mario…” I manage before the words fade from existence on my lips. “Mario, we should…” I point to his room. “We don’t want to wake him,” I whisper. 

It’s surprising how easily I am able to move through the darkness of the unfamiliar apartment. My skin is damp with sweat and the air is frigid. My senses are on edge: the smell of rain in my hair has me all hazy. All I can hear is our hearts, our breathing. I click the desk lamp on painting the small corner of the room with dim, yellow light. 

“Please close the door.” 

Mario does this for me and stands with his back to the door and his palms flat at his sides. 

I crawl into his bed, sliding out of my shoes and sit on my knees. His eyes follow me and the look on his face just screams that he knows what I am thinking. He wants to hear it from me. He wants to be sure. 

Mario slips out of his shoes and climbs into the bed next to me. I scoot over to him, pressing against his shoulder and kissing him on the side of the face. I nip his ear and move my hand down the front of his shirt. My fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt, working from bottom to top. When the final one is unclasped, he slides his arms out of the sleeves revealing his chest. 

“Can I touch?” It’s strange to ask permission, maybe, but I don’t know what’s right or wrong here. This is a new situation to me. He nods his reply. My fingers slide over the smooth skin. I’m not sure if he shaves or waxes or what is going on here, but it’s fantastic. All of those years handling those stubborn pipe fittings and fighting with Bowser did him some good. There’s definition in his chest and arms that you could really only feel like this. “If you’re uncomfortable at all or this is too weird for you, we can stop,” I explain. Please don’t want to stop. 

“No, it’s fine.” Mario’s voice is small, smaller than I’ve ever heard it. 

I’m back kissing his neck and down his shoulder, everything is getting hazy again. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” I let out a little laugh and rest my cheek on his arm.

“You’re doing fine, Princess.” His voice came out broken at strange intervals. 

“Could you do me a favor? Call me…Queen.” 

Mario smiles up at me. “Yes, my Queen.” 

“My one and only King.” I reach up for both of the shoulders of my dress and tug at them, but there’s no way to get out of it with the zipper up. I turn my back to Mario and move my hair out of the way. “Could you unzip me?”

An electricity pops beneath my skin right through the dress where Mario’s hand touches. The zipper creeps lower as he repositions his hand to keep the dress steady. The wait is excruciating. When he’s a little over midway he kisses my bare shoulder blades.

Under this dress is a chemise adorned with a row of bows down the back and front. It’s loose and breezy, leaving little to the imagination. In this light, Mario can see a perfect silhouette of my body. He moves to kiss my right shoulder. “Are you sure you want to do this?” His lips and mustache move against my skin sending ripples through my body. 

“Yes.” I’ve been adamant that I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, but we didn’t have to go that far. “We can stay like this for a little while, at least.” 

I work the straps of the chemise down over my shoulders and it crumples into a heap at my hips. Despite my boldness, my cheeks warm from embarrassment. I let out a sigh and glance back, my chin touching my shoulder. Mario wraps an arm around me, resting his hand over my bellybutton. His chest is pressed my back. There’s a warmth wherever our skin connects. 

Years ago when we were at the beach, Mario surprised me and covered my eyes with his hands. His bare chest was against my nearly bare back, it was the closest to this that we’ve ever come in the past. The context made this so different. My reaction back then had been laughter and splashing him in the eyes. 

Mario’s lips ghost over the nape of my neck. His breath cascades down my chest. I sink back into him. He presses his face deeper into my neck. There’s a low guttural sound that I don’t recognize as myself. 

The air around us is like a wire being pulled tighter and tighter. My breathing is rushed and short. I can hear the blood running through my veins. 

“Mario…” 

He’s kissing down past my shoulder. His hand creeps higher up my stomach. Every part of me is on a hair trigger. There’s things swelling that I can say for sure normally don’t. A kind of agonizing need consumes me and I find myself swaying against him, thrusting my hips back to no avail. The desire almost hurts, but I want it to last forever. The muscles in my leg spasm and I arch my back forward, Mario’s hand is cups my breast and pulls me back to him. 

I don’t know if we’re making it to that wedding. 

“Are you okay?” 

The breath hitches in my throat. “Yeah, fine, really.” My words come out as a honied, breathless gasp. 

“I want to do something for you, but I don’t want to cross that line if you’re not ready,” he says. 

“Start to do it. If I stop you then you’ll know.” 

Mario crawls around to one side of me. His shoulder brushes against my arm as he moves past. He pauses in front of me, taking my waist in his hands and kissing me clumsily on the face. “Lay back.” 

A little smile tugs at the corner of my lip. “Yes, my King.” 

We both laugh at this and I drop onto my back, though I’m unsure of what to do with my hands. The haze in my mind is clearing some now, though I still feel loopy and my stomach is floating. Mario hooks his hands around my thighs and pulls me toward him. He cradles my leg in his hands and runs his cheek along the inner side of my knee. 

“There’s a passage of rules in the archives back home, when I younger I was obsessed with reading things related to sex and intercourse…” 

“Is this your prim and proper way of telling me that you were a bit naughty?”

“No,” I gasp as his lips move deeper into my upper leg, toward what I’m sure is his goal. “I’m trying to inform you of a rule.” 

Mario looks up at me. “Is this, like, a thing for you?” 

“A thing?” A thing? What does he mean by that. Wait. “Goodness no! A thing? Do you think I have some kind of rule fetish?” 

He laughs at me. “Sorry.” 

My pouting is only half real. “I’m trying to tell you something important. The official segment on this…level of interaction states that a Princess is to remain as chaste as possible and it describes this as not engaging in the act itself or letting any suitor see her vagina.” 

“I’ve never heard you say vagina.”

“I’m perfectly capable of saying vagina or any other word that I want!” 

“Peach, if I can’t see then that kind of puts a damper on this whole thing,” Mario says. 

“Nonsense. You can’t see into the cupboard, but you still find the flour.” I reach down between my legs and cover his eyes with my hand. “Keep your eyes closed.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“I’ll keep my hand here, but swear to me that you will not open them.” 

“I swear.” 

Mario moves out of my reach, his eyes closed and tugs me closer. His hands glide up the sides of my thighs and he finds the line of my underwear and laces his fingers through them. He slides them down, keeping his promise to me until I can get a hand over his eye again. 

You can guess where this is going. It’s not the most fascinating thing to describe and you probably don’t want to hear me ooo-ing and aww-ing. 

Besides, there are a lot of things I can tell you without hesitation, but this first time at least—this is ours and ours alone. This isn’t about decency or being ladylike (whatever that may mean); there is something about having moments that belong to us worth keeping our mouth closed about.

Well, mine will be closed at the very least. His, not so much. 


	4. Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something moves in the shadows alongside the building. Is it the people who live on the next floor down —things might have gotten kind of loud earlier. Then the shadow moves out from the building and into the light and there’s the small familiar sound of the magic that keeps a device afloat in the air despite the weight it carries. 
> 
> I clutch the shirt tighter to my body, suddenly aware of how naked I am. “Bowser…”

Reading about a thing isn’t ever going to be the same as experiencing it for yourself. I can describe what it’s like being a princess; I can go into detail about the day to day life and my own personal feelings, but that won’t make you know what it feels like a princess. 

Like most curious girls I read about sex. Sometimes it was something clinical and scientific while other times I stole away into my room to read romance novels that tried to put things into flowery terms. Even at night when I experimented with…you know…it didn’t prepare me for what I got.

Mario and I didn’t engage in the actual act itself—it was sex adjacent. Still, the muscles in my thighs are spent. I’m also pretty sure that I scratched the side of Mario’s face when I was trying to keep his eyes covered. We at least managed to keep that stipulation in place. 

My skin and the sheets below me are drenched in sweat. Shouldn’t this feel dirty to me or make me want to take a shower? It doesn’t. I will myself to sit up and get out of this bed. Okay, so it’s not just my thighs, everything is sore. The chilly night air assaults me. I’m still nude except for the lacy underwear I had on before this whole thing. Mario’s last act of mercy before he departed for the bathroom was to blindly slip them back onto my body. I’m fairly sure they’re the wrong way around. 

It hardly matters. I don’t bother to find my chemise, opting to throw Mario’s dress shirt over my shoulders and clench it in the front. There’s a sliding glass door that leads out onto small balcony overlooking the roof of the next building.

I jostle the door open, sure to keep one hand clasped on the shirt. The city air stings with an after rain chill. It’s remarkable how alike winter is in the Mushroom Kingdom and here. From my room in the castle you can see down over the moats and the rolling hill to a small stream that curves it’s way out to a little lake. Daisy and I built a boat out of two baskets that we tied together and rode that stream when we were little. She broke her arm going over the waterfall that drops into the lake and we both got into huge trouble. 

The last time I saw that place it was engulfed in flames. I wonder if I’ll ever see my home again. If anyone there is alive. What Mario gave me tonight was nothing short of incredible and I can’t wait until we’re married and able to do everything and anything, but reality doesn’t care about my sappy love story or a fleeting orgasm. As the endorphins fades I’m realize how small I am, a figurehead princess of a country that mostly ran itself. When trouble came I ran.

The stone floor of the balcony is wet and freezing as I move further out from the building and lean over the railing to look at the roof of the next block over. “Maybe they’re better off without me over there. The time of Toadstools has passed.” 

Something moves in the shadows alongside the building. Is it the people who live on the next floor down —things might have gotten kind of loud earlier. Then the shadow moves out from the building and into the light and there’s the small familiar sound of the magic that keeps a device afloat in the air despite the weight it carries. 

I clutch the shirt tighter to my body, suddenly aware of how naked I am. “Bowser…”

The vehicle he calls his ‘Clown Car’ hovers closer and a familiar face I didn’t expect comes into view. “Daisy?” Her blue eyes look almost like they always have, but there’s a weight in them that wasn’t previously there. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay! Oh, This is the only way I could have come here, sorry if I scared you.” Daisy lands the Clown Car in the small amount of space on the balcony and climbs out. Her yellow and orange dress is dingy and her arm cut. Dried blood is smeared down her bicep into the sleeve of her long gloves. 

“What happened to you? How did you get this cursed thing?” I ask pointing at the Clown Car. 

“It’s wild, Peach. Bowser went to, you know, kidnap you like he always does, except when he got there something surrounded his airship and blasted it out of the sky. He only survived because he landed in a lake. He was too weak to make it back to his own kingdom so he came to us…”

“It attacked him too?” I wonder out loud. 

“Yeah, what the fuck is that thing?” Daisy asks. 

“Language. I don’t know. It tried to murder me and I escaped here…now the warp zones…” 

“…are all sealed off? Yeah, we noticed. There’s no getting in or out of the Mushroom Kingdom by pipe now and the airspace around your castle is a death trap. After Bowser lent this to me I went to take a look, you’ve always complained I was too nosey, well it almost cost me my damn head this time. Everything got dark and some force hit me. I was able to get to Gadd’s lab, repair this stupid thing, and take a warp zone here.” 

I throw my arms around Daisy and squeeze her tight. She pulls away as I kiss the side of her face over and over. “Thank you, you’re a lifesaver. You and Bowser have…” 

“Ew, why are you naked and wet—holy shit, you’ve been having sex!” 

“No I haven’t. Not really.” 

Daisy rips the shirt out of my hands exposing me. “You’re letting the girls swing free out in the open like this?” She asks. “How long have you been gone? Does time pass differently over here?” 

“No, it’s the same—look, Mario and I didn’t have actual intercourse, it was…” 

“…you went down on him? Or no, he went down on you? Or did you do each other at the same time, because that’s not beginner shit!” Daisy says, her voice seeming huskier and louder than normal. 

“Ugh, the second one. And could you keep it down?” 

“Ah, well I’m glad you didn’t use the proper term— _cunnilingus_ ,” she puts on a snobbish affectation for the last word. “You were always such a prude, but aww, I’m proud of you. My little Peachy is growing up.” 

“I’m older than you! Could you climb back from boy crazy for, like, five seconds,” I yank the shirt shut again. “What’s going on with my Kingdom and my people?”

Daisy shrugs. “No one knows. We assume they’re alive since it’s just the area around the castle that we can’t get to. Bowser is trying to coordinate with Pauline to arrange a World Parliament Summit, but since I’ve found you…” 

“Bowser is trying to arrange a summit?” Never expected to hear that

“Um, yeah, he wants to bone you, not drop a building on your fucking head. He’s worried about you. We all were.”

“He does occasionally do the right thing, I guess. It’s just a lot to take in that he’s spearheading something.”

Daisy shakes her head. “That’s the other thing, Bowser didn’t escape the crash unscathed. The reason he couldn’t come here himself is he’s healing—he lost his eye.” 

“Lost? Like it fell out?” 

“No, dumbass. Something got jammed in there. He’s humiliated and a little pissed, rightfully so. So that might be why he’s so gung-ho, but he’s worrying over you even then. Look, does Mario have any snacks. Like maybe some of those little chocolates that are covered in sweet shells with the little M’s on them? Or, oh! Some cake with ice-cream.” 

I lead her to the door. “We can check the kitchen. I know Luigi brought some stuff the other day. Don’t you kind of want to see him?” 

“Oh, not yet. I was watching him sleep through the window down there, no need to wake him.”

Weirdo.

We enter the room and the shower is still going strong, probably loud enough to drown out the Clown Car and Daisy’s yelling. What is Mario doing in there? “The kitchen is through here.”

“Mario’s in the shower? Oh, speaking of Mario, what’s his crank look like?” 

“Goodness, Daisy. I don’t know. Can you just eat something and not try to sift through my sex life?” I growl.

“Ooooo, my best friend has a sex life,” Daisy slides a jar of peanut butter toward herself and unscrews the lid, digging in with her index and middle fingers to scoop a dollop out. “I have so much to teach you.” She says with a smile before she sucks the peanut butter off her fingers. 

* * *

* * *

When Mario emerges from the bedroom to look for me he’s dressed in pajamas and his hair is wet and slicked back. He peeks around the corner into the sitting room and then back toward the kitchen. “Dolcezza, everything…okay?” 

Daisy and I are sitting on stools in front of the counter. I’ve buttoned the shirt up now, but I’m still just wearing nothing but underwear other than that. Daisy’s spooning peanut butter into her mouth in between blasts of pressurized whip cream from a can. “Hey, Mario,” she says trying to keep the whip cream from sloshing out. 

“Daisy? How did you…” 

“Bowser let me borrow that stupid Clown Car of his. I was coming to tell you that Peach was missing and Bowser didn’t do it, but then I found her…all glow-y with that post-coital bliss,” Daisy laughs through another spoon piled with peanut butter. 

“It wasn’t post-coital. Well, not exactly.” My face is burning red hot now. I could almost slap Daisy. 

Mario shakes his head. “You enjoying the food?” 

Daisy nods, but ignores him otherwise. “Mushroom Kingdom is pretty screwed right now as far as anyone can tell,” she says. 

“What happened?” Asks Mario. 

“It’s not clear. Bowser went to pull his usual schtick of kidnapping young, beautiful, buxom blondes,” Daisy pokes me in the chest with the spoon as she says this. “When he got to the castle something attacked him, downed his airship, and nearly killed him. He lost his eye and barely managed to make it to my palace. I had him patched up and he let me use the Clown Car to find you.” 

“Then we can take it back to the your world!” Mario says.

Daisy shakes her head. “Nope. I got shot down getting here, so it won’t fly high enough for the warp zone I used.”

“How did you make it through?” 

“On the other side it’s on the ground, but on this side it’s in a cloud. Bowser showed me,” she explains. 

“Mario, it’s not going to work, we’d need Kamek or Gadd to begin to fix the Clown Car—we have to find another way,” I tell him.

He folds his arms over his chest. “It looks like it, but now Daisy is stranded over here too.”

“I’m just glad that I found my best friend alive and well. After what happened with Bowser we feared the worst.”

“You said that he lost his eye?” Asks Mario. 

“Yeah, he’s recovering. That’s why he sent me—well that and a huge ass ginger turtle with a spiked shell would raise a bit of suspicion over here.”

“Um, Bowser is actually trying to get a coalition together so that they can investigate what’s going on. According to Daisy all of this is only happening right around the castle itself, so when we get back there we should be able to get pretty close on foot without trouble.”

Mario hugs me around the waist and kisses my cheek. “This is a lot to take in, my number one priority is keeping you safe. We don’t want to rush into the castle without knowing what we’re up against.” 

“Bowser and I have the largest standing armies left, respectively,” Daisy begins. “If Peach is going in there, she’s got my backup and probably his.” 

A smirk appears on Mario’s face and he pats the top of her head. He’s never known exactly how to act around her. “Thank you Daisy, for everything you’ve done.” 

“Not a problem. Oh, Peach promised me some of those little colorful candies with the M’s written on them.”

“I said no such thing!” 

The wall rattled as the door knob slammed into it, Luigi stumbled out of his bedroom into the florescent light of the kitchen. “I-I thought it was a dream, but Daisy…” 

Daisy fired another blast of whipped cream into her mouth and licked her lips clean. “Hey, Lover. Did you miss me?” 


	5. Disciple

The days without Mario and Luigi there could be worse. I occupy my time by baking cakes and cookies, most of which Daisy and I eat our way through. The first few days we talked some and then we found the most wonderful Earth invention. It’s called HBO. I looked it up on the computer, it stands for Home Box Office and you can just watch movies or shows on it. 

After we’re up and alone we burn through as much of this Game of Thrones show as we can. Ned kind of mentioned it and that’s how it caught my eye. It also has princesses, but they’re so far not doing so well.

Daisy and I are on the couch and she’s opted to lay across my lap with a pillow while she eats her piece of vanilla creme cake. This is only the second day of watching this show, but we’re hooked. We’re nearing the ending of the first part and then something happens. Up until this point of the show there’s been plenty of sex, but there’s something different about this. A beautiful, auburn haired woman pleasures another woman while a man soliloquizes across the room. He speaks of what he means to do and what his motivations are, but it’s the women and what they’re doing that draws my attention. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Daisy shifts her tan legs as she turns her head to look up at me. 

“Shh.” I press a finger to my lip. “If you were paying attention instead of trying to tease me you wouldn’t have been able to see my expression.”

“I didn’t have to. Your legs pressed together tighter than a chain chomp’s jaws.” She shovels another piece of cake into her mouth. “What’s the matter?” 

“Nothing.” 

Daisy pauses the show. “What’s the matter, Peach?”

“Daisy, sit up,” I tell her. “Please.” 

She slowly sits up next to me, steadying her hand on the cushion between us. “What’s this about?” 

“Do you ever think about that time we went with your parents to visit King and Queen Nimbus?” I ask.

“Oh yeah. I got you to taste alcohol for the first time and you thought it was going to immediately turn you into a crazed deviant.” Daisy says. She leans against my shoulder and takes another bite of cake. “Why the sudden interest in that?” 

“I was kind of referring to the…other stuff that happened.”

Daisy blinks at me absently. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.” 

How dare her. “We were in our room in Nimbus Palace and you had this book. It was just a bunch of different stories about sex and read it and…” I gather my thoughts so that I don’t say the wrong thing or misrepresent what happened. “And the word masturbation was in one of the stories so I asked you what it meant and you showed me and, kind of, did it for me.” 

We never really talk about the summer we had after that, maybe because it’s embarrassing to bring it up or there’s never been anything to trigger a discussion. We would kiss for hours and lay on the plush carpet of my bedroom or hers, wherever we happened to be with our dressing gowns wadded at our waists and hands nestled between our own legs…and each other’s.

“Peach, that was just us experimenting. I mean, you’re not _like that_.” Daisy says with all of the usual bravado drained from her voice. 

“Like what? Into women? And you are?” 

She shrugs. “I’ve dabbled. I’m faithful now, but before that—well, I don’t like to limit myself.”

“Oh.” My body sinks into the couch some. “Just who else have you dabbled?”

Daisy forces a little laugh. “Are you upset that you weren’t the only one?” 

“I’m just curious is all.” I have to try hard not to turn my nose up at her. 

Her face goes all straight and serious for a moment. “I just don’t want you getting all judgy is all.” 

“I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m engaged, you’re in a serious relationship—they’re brothers for goodness sake. It’s a moot point.” 

“Have you told Mario?”

“Told him what?” 

“That we spent a whole summer necking and that I fingering each other?” asks Daisy. 

“Don’t make it sound so crass and dirty.” 

“It was dirty. That’s what made it fun!”

“Did you tell Luigi about it?”

“Yes.” Daisy says. “I tell him everything.” 

Didn’t expect that. “Well, what did he say?” 

“He couldn’t believe it, but it didn’t bother him. Look, it’s up to you if you want to share this tidbit with Mario, but if you keep it from him out of fear that he’s going to judge you, ask yourself is that any kind of foundation to build a damn life together on?” 

For a lifetime stare at each other lit by the glow from the paused TV. Daisy shifts her weight and drops onto her side to lay in my lap again and wordlessly un-pauses the TV.

We make it through two more episodes in silence, which is a real shame because there’s a lot going on. I want to talk about all of the things I’m seeing and tell her the story about the guy I met named Ned the other day, but the longer we don’t say anything the harder it is to speak first. 

There’s a knock at the door while Daisy is in the kitchen and she glances over the counter top at men as if for verification. “I wasn’t expecting anybody.”

She goes to the door with a fork hanging from her mouth as she mutters. “Just a second.” There’s another knock. “I said, just a bloody second!” Daisy presses her face to the peephole and examines the person outside. They say something to her that I can’t make out and she shrugs to me and unlocks the door. 

The moment the deadbolt slides out of the wall the door is kicked swinging inward. Daisy stumbles and falls to her back on the floor as a blonde man steps into view holding a pizza box. He glares down at her on the floor with inhumanly subtle neck and head movements, then he turns his gaze on me. 

Black veins creep up his neck and over his cheeks. His arms are already covered in them and they’re growing down toward his wrists. I bound over the couch, determined to help Daisy. My feet hit the hard wood floor with a thud and something heavy and wet slams into my stomach. The couch’s wooden feet scrape at the floor as it breaks my fall. 

The stranger, who seems less human by the minute, passes Daisy and holds his hand down with his palm out. Viscous, black sludge splatters over Daisy’s face causing her to flail around blind. 

“The Dark Disciples are still waiting. We still serve ruin and the one true king. As our lord commands, the usurper shall fall. Born of chaos; tempered in ruin!” He kicks me in the ribs and See a flash of red. He does it again and I’m sure something inside me cracks. 

Then he’s straddling me with his hand held around my chin and cheeks. I shift my hips, buck against the floor, and pull side to side with my neck—anything to throw off what he’s doing. 

I see his other hand up at his side as he grins. Black, oily spit runs from his mouth. And then his arm changes into a slimy, black tentacle. I scream as loud as I can. With maddened delight in his eyes, he shoves the appendage into my mouth and I can feel it forking down my throat, deeper and deeper. I vomit, but my mouth is too full for it to come out. My throat is blocked. 

I can’t breath. I can’t keep fighting. 

The sound of bare feet thundering across the floor calls me to attention. “Get off of her argh!” Daisy leaps onto my attacker’s back, her face still streaked with black, and wraps a dish towel around his face. With one hand she’s got the towel clenched closed around him and with the other elbow she’s bashing him in the top of the head.

It must be taking it’s toll because he retracts the tentacle out of my throat, leaving me gasping and on my side. Daisy is hammering away at him from the sound of it, but I’m facing the wrong way to see, just struggling to breath and cough up the vomit. 

“Get up and help me, lazy ass!” Daisy yells.

I summon up what’s left in me and rush him, stumbling over the hard wood floor until I collide with the side of his legs and bringing him crashing down. I land on the floor, side first just in time to look up and see my assailant’s head bounce off of the hard surface of the counter top, hit it again, and then fall on the floor motionless.

Daisy is on her back nearby and sits up to see what happened. “Shit, Peaches—you killed him.” 

“You asked me to help you!” 

“Are you using a different dictionary, because since when does help mean straight up murder someone?” Asks Daisy. 

I’m holding my wounded side as I go to stand up. We’ve both had to defend ourselves in the past and sometimes in those situations a person has to die, but for some reason Daisy is making me feel terrible for it. 

“We need to call the police or whatever they call them,” says Daisy. “You need to turn yourself in.” I stare at her, unsure of what to think. “Ha, I’m just kidding. Help me clean this gunk off my face so we can figure out what to do with him.” 

* * *

* * *

To tell the truth, Mario and Luigi were way calmer than they should be with a dead guy in their apartment, especially considering that the two people responsible for it are their girlfriends (and aren’t even citizens of their planet). Mario claimed it was a good thing that we didn’t know how to call the police. They called someone to handle it, because someone owes them a favor. 

It was a little weird to hear that. 

Daisy and I took showers in the time that it took for their favor to arrive. We washed our hair, scrubbed under our nails and put the clothes we had been wearing into plastic bags and sealed them shut by tying them. 

A man in a black shirt with a turtleneck color came to the door eating out of a bag of M&M’s. His hair is dirty blonde and slicked back, his eyes were a steely blue and his lips little more than a thin line. 

“Where’s Donnie?” Luigi asks.

“You call Donnie. Donnie calls me, now let’s not say that name out loud anymore for the rest of this interaction, capisci?”

Luigi nods.

“Hey beautiful,” he takes Daisy’s hand and shakes it. “You the little lady who’s responsible for this cluster-fuck?” 

“Half of it. She helped.” Daisy points at me.

“It’s going to be fine. The first step to covering something like this up is to not worry about the things that don’t make sense.” He stoops down next to the body and points at the head. “Like I don’t know what this black shit oozing out of this son-of-a-bitch’s head is and I don’t wanna know. It’s not important. You got yourself cleaned up like I asked you to?” 

We both nod. 

“Good. You can call me Maurice, because I’m a mother fucking space cowboy—not my real name, but real names are a liability in my business. So I’m going to call you Red and you Green.” He points at Mario and Luigi in turn. “You’re going to be Barbie.” That’s me. “And finally, I’m just calling you Sexy—the ass on this girl. She must be Sicilian or Brazilian. Only two places I know they make asses like that.” Well, he seems to have taken a liking to Daisy. 

Two more guys dressed in work uniforms follow Maurice into the apartment with a large carpet rolled up and a set of tools. They gather the body up, bundle it tightly in the living room floor rug and package in the dirty clothes. 

“Where are you taking him?” I ask. 

“Better you don’t know, Barbie. I can say no one will find him. Hope none of you is too attached to that rug.”

His guys roll the new rug out and move the furniture back. They then use this strange little mop to go over the floors with a substance that smells strong and stings at my nose. 

“The guy busted in here and attacked us. We should just be able to tell the authorities.” Daisy says.

“You don’t have any identification. Your finger prints aren’t on file, you don’t exist.” 

“Red here is right. I know a guy I can suggest if you’re going to be in town for a while. He can get you fake IDs, birth certificates, whole histories, the works. He used to work for the CIA on some real Edward Snowden shit. He’s legit.” 

“We’ll think about it,” I tell him. “But thank you.” I know Mario says it’s handled, but I give him a coin I’ve been carrying as a tip. 

Maurice looks at it. “Is this gold? Are you for real?” 

The two men in workers uniforms go over the area with a purple light looking for something. Then they pack the body away inconspicuously into the carpet and haul it out of the place. 

“Red and Green—our mutual friend tells me that you’re plumbers. My sweet baby girl of a daughter shaves her legs in my tubs and clogs the drains up with all this shit, now you could boil a pot of water on the top of Mount Everest in the time it takes for them to drain.” 

“We could, uh, take a look at it.” Luigi says. 

Maurice slaps him on the shoulder. “Awesome, Green. You’re alright guys.” He heads for the door. “When I see you again, any of you, remember this shit never happened.” With that the door shuts behind him. We hear him rattling the knob briefly and then he’s gone. 

“Um, Mario, Honey. How do you know this Donnie?” I ask. 

“Luigi and I did some plumbing work for a local…businessman. His kid was getting married and the pipes broke. There was shit-water everywhere, but we got it done in time for the wedding. He said he owed us a favor. Never thought we’d need it.” 

“Who would know to attack you here?” Asks Luigi. 

“There was this cult, the Dark Disciples, I thought they had gone defunct when we were kids. They used to try and topple my family’s power because they believed in the king from before.”

Daisy laughs. “Yeah, because they’re stupid. The King of Ruin story is bedtime bullshit made up to scare kids. The Great War happened, sure, but there was no powerful king who presided over darkness.” 

“You and Bowser both saw what attacked you at my castle, what if it’s true?” I ask. 

“Why would it take over a thousand years for him to come back?” Daisy retorts. 

“Hold on a minute. What are you two talking about?” Luigi asks. 

“The Great War was a conflict between most of the nations of the world and the King of Ruin. He wielded unheard of power over the realm for most of recorded history before that. Then he took one of my great ancestors as his wife, by force,” I explain. “Her mother fought back against him, throwing all that she could at him and hoping to turn others to her cause, but it wasn’t until her daughter, Peach, used her closeness to the King of Ruin to kill him. From then on they were able to combat him and turn others to their side.”

“So that’s who you’re named after?” Luigi says scratching his head. “Jeeze, big shoes to fill.” 

I shake my head at his statement. “I’m just my own woman. I’m not trying to live up to anyone’s standard, really.” 

“Then we need to confirm that this really is the King of Ruin and find out how someone killed a person who is said to be all powerful.” Mario’s suggestion feels like the most level headed approach, but there’s not much for us to go on. It’s not like Earth libraries have much in the way of Mushroom Kingdom history on hand.

“The first priority needs to be getting home,” Daisy says. 

“The fact that you got here is promising. If there were only one entrance from our world to this one, that could just be considered a fluke. If there are two then there’s probably more than two.”

Luigi nods. “That’s sound logic. The other thing I’m worried about is the Clown Car. Someone from the tenants association might take issue with a giant monster vase on our balcony.” 

“We could throw a blanket over it, like a huge blanket…” Daisy says. 

“Daisy’s got the right idea. A tarp should keep it from drawing too much attention,” says Mario. 

Luigi gazes at me and then Daisy. “Could the two of you give me a minute with my brother,” he lets out an obviously forced chuckle. 

“Sure,” Daisy grabs my wrist. “We’ll see what we can do about the Clown Car. Come on, Peaches.” She tows me through the bedroom door and at first I’m stumbling from the speed at which she’s moving. 

“Can you calm down just a bit?” With a twist of my arm, I wrench myself free of her grasp. “What do you think that was about?” 

Daisy slides the door to the balcony open, letting a gust of cold wind flow into the room, chilling my bare, still damp legs. Somehow Daisy looks unaffected by it. “No idea. Luigi is a little private in weird ways.” She shrugs and it’s like she doesn’t feel as if what they’re saying concerns us at all. “Any idea what we can do to make this fucking thing look less like the world’s biggest champagne flute for children?” Asks Daisy.

No one has spent as much time in and around Bowser’s castle as me. I actually have my own bedroom there for when he inevitably kidnaps me. It’s a strange situation because he’s not exactly mean to me, he’s just creepy and I don’t like him that way. Also, kidnapping someone is just wrong obviously, but it might have a practical application for once if I can figure this out. 

In the past I’ve seen this thing sit down lower than this, but only when it’s not being used. “There’s a way to lower the big bulb part down the stem so that it sits flat. It must be one of the controls in there.” 

“My girl Peach with the bright ideas. That’s why I keep you around for your smarts! Can you help me climb up?” Daisy points up to the opening at the top of the vehicle and I nod at her. 

By help her climb, she seems to have meant can I clamber around on you until I’m inside. I make a small basket with my hands by linking my fingers down in front of me and boost her up. There’s a resonating ping as she clambers against the outside of the Clown Car. Her knees and shins move against my shoulders. Then her crotch rams right into my face and knocks my head back against the side of the vehicle.

“Oh, sorry!” Daisy’s weight gives one last push and then it’s all gone. By the time I step away and peer up her foot is disappearing into the cockpit of the Clown Car. “Kay, I’m in.” 

“There has to be an easier way to get in this thing.”

“We’re, like, half of Bowser’s height. It’s not really made for us,” Daisy’s voice has a hollow sound as it echoes around the inside of the vase of the Clown Car. I can’t see her, but I hear her flipping switches, pressing buttons, and sliding things around. “Nothing in this damn thing is labeled…why are there so many fucking switches? Nothing has ever needed this many switches.”

“Daisy?” I glance back toward the bedroom door before saying anything else. “Do you really think that I should tell Mario about what we did that time?” 

“Holy shit, Peaches, are you still going on about this?” Daisy pokes her head out over the orange lined rim of the Clown Car. “You’re making a pretty huge deal about it,” says Daisy. 

Call it a morbid fascination or maybe it’s just the fact that she is so blasé about it. “If this isn’t a big deal then tell me what other girl you did something with?” 

“Maple Syrup.” Daisy says plainly. 

That’s quite the non-sequitur. It’s not like her to change the subject like this. “So you’re not going to tell me?” 

“I just did: Captain Maple Syrup.” 

“The devious, thieving pirate who runs Bullet Bills and Bomb-oms for Bowser?” 

Daisy ducks back into the Clown Car and I hear her fumbling around again. “This is what. I was talking about with you being judgy. When I met her she wasn’t a captain or even a pirate.” 

“Oh, well I guess that’s okay.” 

For a long while Daisy is moving around inside the Clown Car with metallic clangs and sharp thuds. There’s a mechanical whirring sound as the green stem that runs down to the propellors starts retract, bringing the whole thing down until it touches the ground to sit flat. 

“Well, that’s that.” Daisy swings her legs out over the side of the bulb and kicks to wiggle further out. She drops to touch the patio next to me. We say nothing for a several seconds and then she finally sighs inwardly. “Like I said, it’s not that big a deal. I didn’t say anything originally because I knew you would make a big deal out of it.” 

“Well, I’m sorry—I’m just not used to all of this and with the Mario thing going on, you know.” 

There’s a knock on the glass and we turn to look and see Luigi reaching for the door handle. He pokes his face into the small sliver of the door that he opens. “Can we talk to you both?” He closes the door and steps back inside. 

“What do you suppose that’s about?” Asks Daisy. 

I don’t know and I’m not sure what to tell her, but I don’t like it. 


	6. Club

It had occurred to me that Luigi might be mad at having me around the house for so long. In the past I came for a day or so and was gone. I couldn’t afford to leave the Mushroom Kingdom for much longer than that without strict arrangements and whenever I did it was hard to unwind to think about anything besides home.

Luigi stays several steps ahead of the both of us all the way through the room with his hands out of sight and held nervously in front of him. There’s something diminutive about his demeanor. More so than normal. Is he like this with Daisy when they’re alone? She has always been boisterous and confident. People used to say she was a tomboy, but the reality is Daisy loud and unapologetic.She isn’t afraid to express herself and be who she is. 

Mario is in the kitchen peering inside of the fridge when we enter. He pulls a bottle of juice out and closes the door to look at us. Luigi steps over next to him and sighs. “I’ve been talking to Mario and I suggested that I think the two of you need to slow down. You plan to rush back there and just blindly take any warp zone…we don’t know how many different places you could end up or what could be waiting on the other side.” 

“And what would you suggest we do?” Asks Daisy.

“He wants us to take nights off and not talk about what’s going on and more than anything to make sure that we take it easy on rushing into anything.” Mario explains. 

“Take nights off?” I ask.

“Yeah, you know, Princess,” Luigi starts. “Get out of the house and see a movie or go to a club or something.” 

“A club? Oh you haven’t taken me to one of those in forever. Ohh, now we just have to go, pretty please?” Daisy is on board with the idea for sure. She attempts to ply him by running her fingers through his hair and making small strokes with her other hand across his chest. She’s just wrapped around him and all up on him. How does she do it?

“Peach, would you mind taking a different approach to things?” Mario asks. 

“So long as we don’t lose sight of what we’re doing.” 

Daisy grabs my hands using her weight to swing away from me and pull me into a small twirl in the center of the floor. “We have to do the club as soon as we can. You’ll love it Peaches. We could even go tonight—they don’t really get good until ten.”

“Ten—I-I may need to take a nap first.” I haven’t been sleeping the best, so it’s not a lie. 

“You’re such a sleep-baby,” Daisy says letting go of me to saunter over to Luigi. “Are you against going tonight?” 

“I need to pick up some things from the dry cleaners and grab a bite to eat,” Mario says. “Suppose we should gas up the car if we’re going to be in the city.” 

“G-good idea, Mario. I’ll stay here with Daisy and the Princess. Wouldn’t want a repeat performance of earlier.”

Mario kisses me on the shoulder where the wide neck of this shirt exposes a little skin. “Are you okay with that?” He asks.

I nod.

“I’ll go out and take care of some stuff and we can eat when I get back and then head out.” 

My feet shuffle across the floor toward the couches and I climb up into recliner in the corner and curl up between the big plush armrests. “I’ll catch a nap out here, if that’s okay?” The soft sounds of the television in the background with the white noise from the city was oddly comforting. 

Daisy and Luigi took a seat on the adjacent couch to watch the evening news and make sure no one tried to kidnap or kill me. I don’t want the rest of my life to be worrying that I’m going to be the target of assassinations or imprisonment. Part of me wishes I could be carefree like Daisy. 

As I drift away into a darkened slumber someone calls out to me. “Peach…Princess Peach?…Can you hear me? No, no—that frequency is much too high.” The voice is gone and so am I.

* * *

* * *

Darkness.

“I-I don’t think this is such a good idea, Daisy.”

“She’s the heaviest sleeper ever. She isn’t going to wake up.” It’s Daisy’s voice responding to Luigi. I am awake now, but my eyelids are too heavy and the urge to stay in the dark is too strong. 

There’s some breathy sighs followed by a stifled gasp. 

“You like that?” Daisy says out of breath. 

There’s no response. 

“Mmm, good.” Daisy does something that causes the leather of the couch to shift loudly. She giggles and small slurping sound interrupted periodically by a pop. I open my eyes just enough to see through the lashes. The room is darker now as the light from the sun is gone. The gray-blue light from the TV fills the room and I can make out Luigi with his head tilted back into the couch’s headrest while Daisy is down over his lap making rapid up and down motions. 

It’s clear that he’s inside of her mouth, but the TV’s light only provides a sheen of accent down the length of him when she brings her head up for that split second. Luigi’s fingers dig into her thick, brown hair. 

“What about Mario?” His words are breathless, he only speaks in gasps and stutters now. 

“What about him? You seem to think I care if someone sees.” Daisy brings her face up and drags the peak of his penis against her cheek. For the first time I see it and see one in person. It’s darker than the rest of Luigi and not scary large the way books always try to describe them, but Daisy has to work to get the whole thing in her mouth for sure. 

“Still, we should finish up.” Luigi says.

“Fine. You always spoil my fun,” Daisy giggles as she shifts up onto her knees. She rolls over quickly to slip the small shorts she’s wearing off and climbs on top of Luigi’s lap. They slide together out of sync for several moments before they each find their rhythm. Her giggles turn into soft moans and she wraps her arms around behind his head to pull him to her chest. 

They’re locked like this for a second until Luigi grunts and forces Daisy’s arms behind her back, pushing her roughly onto her side on the couch. She laughs, rolling over onto her shoulder to glance up at him as he traps her arms under his weight with one hand and begins to thrust into her. His other hand makes its to the back of her head. With his fist clinging tight to Daisy’s hair he pulls until her neck is arched back. 

This only seems to make Daisy more excited which in turn causes Luigi to slow his motions. He rams into her with deliberate thrusts until he shudders lets go of her hair carefully. 

“That’s my boy,” Daisy says. “Now go get yourself cleaned up. I’ll straighten up in here.”

Luigi runs around the couch to his room, careful not to pass directly in front of or even near me. Daisy fishes her shorts out from between the couch cushions and rams her legs through them with a sharp tug that ends with the snap of the waistband. 

“Oh shit, Peaches, you’re going to get cold.” She approaches me and slings a blanket over my shoulders. I hold my breath in the hope that she will turn away quickly. Please Daisy. 

Her fingers push the hair back behind my ear and she runs the back of her fingers down my cheek. My skin tenses up and my shoulders scrunch in close to my neck. “Ew.” I can’t stop my reaction and I pop up to sit on the chair. “Are you just touching me in the face with your…penis hands?” 

“Penis hands? Oh-em-gee, you were awake! How much did you see?” Daisy asks.

“Pretty much all of it. Why would you do that in here where I could see?” 

“We were quiet.”

Luigi stumbles out of the bedroom with a clean white shirt on and a pair of shorts. “Oh, Peach. You’re awake…d-d-did you have a good nap?” He wrinkles his hands together and it’s obvious that he’s trying to ward of suspicion that they did anything. It wouldn’t be uncharacteristic of Luigi to act like this and if I hadn’t seen what happened I wouldn’t notice it. How many times in the past had he acted like this in the past? Were those instances where we had almost caught him and Daisy in the act?

Daisy eyes me and then glances over to Luigi. Her look says it all. “Peach was just telling me that she wanted something to drink,” she explains. We’re not going to tell him this happened then. Makes sense, really. Luigi would honestly die if he found out that I had seen his…you know. 

This is my chance. I slip into the kitchen and grab a glass off of the countertop, filing it with water from the tap. Got to keep the cover story that Daisy set up for me in place, but it’s funny that she claims to tell Luigi everything that happens. Well, I know that she can’t tell him this. 

I brush the hair away from my face and take a long sip of the water, Daisy locks eyes with me and she smirks a little. Then she winks. I sit the glass aside and head for the bedroom. “I’m going to get ready for tonight—Mario will be back soon, I’m sure.” 

Though I had a shower earlier that was in a rush and hadn’t felt right. The water flows from the wall into the drain that used to be a doorway into my home world. Luigi wants to take my mind off of everything that’s going on and that’s nice of him, but it just isn’t realistic. 

Probably the closest I’ve come to not really thinking about it recently has been seeing what he and Daisy were doing a few feet from me on the couch. I sit down on the toilet and watch as the water begins to steam clouding the room until the mirror and shower door are fogged over. 

Luigi’s hand in Daisy’s hair, tugging it until her neck is curled back toward him as she begs for more of it…the sounds he made as she took him in her mouth…I can’t stop thinking about it and worse I’m not sure I want to. Could pulling your hair really feel as good as they made it seem? With my hand balled tight around the bulk of my hair, right behind my head I give a sharp tug. 

“Ow,” I whisper under the sound of the rushing water. “Nope.” 

After a relaxing bath Mario still isn’t there. I venture into his closet in just a bra and underwear to find the dress that Luigi and I had purchased on one of our many shopping adventures. Not sure what we were buying all of these things for. There was no way that I was going to wear them around the Mushroom Kingdom, especially not the one I have in mind now. 

Pink is my favorite color, but it’s not the only thing that wears well on me and I’m not above the titular little black dress. Perhaps it’s too sexy for me, but when I tried this on a few months ago I fell in love and knew I had to have it. The dress is a skin tight black dress with a lower cut back that really only begins under the bust line, but where it shines is in the front. A strip of fabric secures the dress around the neck, held in place by a ring between the collar bones. That same ring holds another strip of fabric that runs down the center of the dress, connecting it to the rest. On either side of that fabric is a little square section where the skin is exposed. When I’m into the dress it wears so tight that my breasts are smashed together and the cleavage shows through the third row of holes. The openings stop just below the navel, though there are two more holes on either side at the hips. 

I use the makeup that I keep here to do my face and I keep my hair in it’s natural poof of curls at the top, but I use this trick I saw Daisy do once where I gel the bottom of my hair to accent the curls. 

The front door opens and I hear paper bags rustling around and Mario muttering to himself. “Dammit,” he says as he deposits the bags on the table and searches through them. “It’s a madhouse out there—Luigi’s club thing might be a bad idea, I think we should—“ 

Mario stares at me standing in the doorway, dressed in the black dress that I am now sure is too sexy for me. It doesn’t make me feel more empowered, I just feel timid and exposed. My thighs are bare and I haven’t decided what shoes to wear yet. 

“You look gorgeous,” Mario says. A dopey smile tapers over his lips. “Peach—you, wow.” 

“Tell the truth, you like it?” I ask. 

“Like it? I love it.” 

I glance over my shoulder trying to get an idea of how the back looks. “This makes my butt look weird.”

“You’ve got the best butt. Rappers would write albums about that butt.” 

He’s forced me to smile now. “You know I don’t really understand what you’re talking about. I don’t know Earth music, but I’d love to hear some of these songs about princess butts…” 

“I’ll get to work finding one. In the meantime let me hop in the shower and throw on some clothes.” With that Mario is gone into the bedroom and the door is closed. 

* * *

* * *

Reverberations from the beat of the music reached well into the parking garage and everything around us shakes and trembles. I hang on Mario’s arm and walk along at his side while Luigi and Daisy hold hands in front of us. Wearing this in the safety of Mario’s place is one thing, wearing it where regular people can see me is a whole other thing. 

Luigi is dressed in a dark purple suit with a plaid pattern embroidered over it in black. His dress shirt is black and the whole ensemble fits together into a very well thought out package. 

In keeping with tradition, Daisy is dressed in something flower themed: a yellow dress with a white ruffly bust line that runs over her shoulders and around her arms to the back to resemble petals. Her hair is up in a haphazard bun.

Mario is in a black pin strip suit with a with a black vest and maroon button up dress shirt. He’s decided to go sans hat tonight and even I’m not used to it. 

The entrance to the club is at street level, but just inside there are stairs leading down into a hallway lit by red light. A guard stands at the door with his hands clasped in front of him wearing dark sunglasses. There’s a little bit of a line and occasionally a person will be denied entry. Some people the guard will ask for money, others will be waved through without any hassle. 

At the front of the line we’re waved through and ushered down into the club with a subtle hand gesture. It’s dark enough and these heels are high enough to make entering this hall a little difficult. The music is vibrating through the walls around us, I feel it in my chest, and down my legs. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. 

Mario’s hand finds the small of my back and he guides me through the hallway. Luigi and Daisy are pulling away from us now and the music is becoming disorienting. Finally we step out of the hall into a open room that is lined on either side by bars serving drinks to crowds of people jockeying for position. Between the bars a sea of people with different little currents of movement running through it seems to have taken on a life of its own.

I can make out the dance floor from here, but people are really dancing wherever there is room. Men stand with their hands on a woman’s butt or hips while she has her arms resting on his shoulders. Others dance back to front, with the women sliding themselves against the men in a seductive display. 

People here can see me dressed like this now, but I realize I want to be that woman who dances without a care in the world. I want to be able to let loose like that. I’ve always been a bundle of nerves, but there’s something I can do about that. 

“Do you feel like a drink? I feel like a drink.” I tell Mario. 

“I’ll have a drink with you. What do you want?” He asks. 

“Something strong.” 

The first drink is an amaretto sour and it’s something I have actually had before. It’s sweet and sour and delicious. So I have a second, but something feels off about it. Maybe my mouth is coated with whatever makes it taste like candy. The next thing I ask for is an Incredible Hulk. I’m not sure what the drink is, so I ask the bartender to explain it to me. 

She’s a buxom dark haired woman with dark skin and lavender eyeshadow that stands out against her complexion. Maybe I’m already starting to feel it. “An Incredible Hulk is one part Hpnotiq and one part Hennessy poured over ice. It’s good.” 

“Well shoot, let’s do it then,” I yell. 

I know what you’re thinking. She’s drunk. I’m not though. Honest. I’m not drunk. This is just me loosening up. And that’s one thing everyone would agree this princess needs. 

When the Incredible Hulk is gone (how did it taste you ask? Incredible!) I spot a machine labeled Fireball that they’re serving drinks out of. “I’m going to head to the restroom.” I tell Mario. 

He grabs my shoulder like he’s trying to steady me, but I’m not swaying. We’re dating. “Are you going to be okay?” 

I nod. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be right back.” I giggle. My face is warm and everything feels floaty. But I’m not going directly to the bathroom. “One of those Fireball thingies, please.” The bartender knows me by now. 

“Peach, right? Are you sure you’re going to be okay. You’re starting to look a little wobbly.” She says. Her name is Karen and she’s got a pierced eyebrow. I’m not sure why. 

“I’ll be fine. See that handsome devil in the pinstriped suit?” 

“The one who was ordering for you earlier?” Karen asks. 

“The very same one! He’s my fiancé…that’s a fun word to say. Fiancé. Fee-an-saay. Anyway, my fiancé would never let anything happen to me. He saves me from this turtle dragon guy named Bowser, like, all of the time. Bowser is king of the Koopas and as soon as we find the warp zone, I’m going to go take my castle back!” 

“Okay.” She slides the Fireball over to me. It’s an orange colored shot. “Enjoy. I hope you…get your castle back.” 

I look down at the glass. “Oh! You’re a little guy.” It’s gone in one gulp, but it’s cinnamon-y and burns going down. “Two more please.” 

So maybe I skipped some things. I had a shot or two earlier after that Incredible Hulk and a beer that comes from a place called Texas. And something called Patron that felt cool agains my lips. 

Two more shots of Fireball and now I am ready to boogey. I hunt for Mario in the crowd, but turning my head too quickly causes everything the motion blur and makes it hard to see. 

The tab Mario has started takes care of the cost of the drinks, but where is Mario? I stumble through the crowds of people trying to spot him, searching each group of people for him and then just for Luigi or Daisy or anyone that I know. 

“Whoa, you okay there little lady?” The guy talking to me has black hair and cold blue eyes. His eyes are all I can see clearly. 

“I’m a lady and I’m not little.” 

He’s got me at the shoulders to hold me still and is staring into my eyes. “Maybe you’ve had enough, but do you want to dance some.” 

I giggle. “Sorry, your princess is in another castle.” That’s pretty funny. Well, not really. Why can’t I stop laughing. 

“Relax some. Are you hear with friends?” He asks. 

“I’m here with my fiancé and his brother. And my best friend.”

He smiles, I think. “Cool. Why don’t I help you find them?” He pulls me close and puts his arm around my neck. 

“You’d do that?” 

“Excuse me, leave her alone, jackass!” Karen storms through the crowd in front of the two of us blocking the path. 

“You just work here lady, I was trying to help her out.” He says. 

“Sure—I’ve seen your shitty little ploy before and I’m not allowing it to be done to my customers.” Karen is mad. Not sure what’s going on. 

Hey, it’s Mario. Mario’s here. He comes up besides Karen and I jerk away from the man who was helping me look for him. “Mario! You’re back.” I hug him tight and smoosh my face into his. 

Karen is waving for the club guards to come, but before we can see more of what’s happening Mario walks me out of the area and over to the side door. This door leads up some stairs and into a small rooftop patio area. There’s softer music playing here and far less people. 

The air feels cold on my skin, but I’m not actually cold. 

“Mario?” I whisper in his ear, pulling him over to dance with me. “Mario, how would you like me to dance? I’m going to do a dance for you.” 

“You can just dance with me, you don’t have to do it for me,” he says. 

“But I want to. And you know what else I want to do?” I get really close to his ear, my breath is burning with alcohol and I can smell it now. “I want to put your penis right in my mouth.”

He stares at me real hard. “Peach, you’re drunk.” 

“So you caught me, but only because I needed to be. I get anxious and it loosens me up. I caught Daisy doing that for Luigi and I wanted you to have one too because of all you’ve done for me and what you did for me a few nights ago. I’m drunk, but this is what I wanted before I got drunk. This is why I am drunk now.” Some of that came out too fast or slurred. I hope he understands. 

I’m kissing him and he’s caught off guard. His lips are stiff and he has his hands up as if to begin to protest, but he opens his mouth to mine and the innocent kiss turns into something raw. My saliva trails over his cheek to a spot where I kiss. Then another kiss on his nose. Mario kisses under my chin and then down my neck, sucking at the skin until I grunt from the pain. Why does this feel good?

He’s tugging me by the wrist further across the patio. This is a place designed for there to be hundreds of people milling about, but excluding me and Mario there’s less than a dozen. All of them hanging around by the door smoking cigarettes or chatting with people who are. 

We’re walled in on all four sides by the other buildings around the club and the club itself, an outdoor bar is the last thing before the far war and there’s no one serving drinks at it because there hasn’t been a need. 

I point to it and he seems to realize at the same moment. Mario checks to see what the smokers are doing and judges them to be either not a threat or not paying attention. Behind the bar is surprisingly clean and doesn’t seem to get much loose. The liquor storage is locked away behind shutters with huge metal locks. We don’t need need what they are holding back there anyway. 

There’s a kind of padded mat on the ground back here, probably to help the bartenders stand for long durations. Mario sits down on it, his legs straight out in front of him. It takes me longer to sit as things are really starting to spin now. I curl my legs up underneath my butt and lean in toward Mario to press my mouth to his. 

“Are you going to let me see it?” I ask. 

He undoes his pants and pulls them down until their at the middle of his thigh. Then he moves his boxers down until it springs up from between his legs all dark and straight. I reach out, eyeing him for permission and seeing that he nods. My fingers wrap around the shaft and the skin is so soft and so warm. 

I’m drunker than I thought and very eager to see this whole thing through. Its only a few seconds before rock forward onto my knees and engulf the length into my mouth. He tastes like clean sweat and soap. I only come up for hurried breaths and once near the end to request that he pull my hair, just to see what that’s like. 

We’re quiet and when he climaxes he bites down on the side of his thumb to stop his cries. It takes a while, but its worth it. There’s a sense of pride and accomplishment—I almost don’t want to stop. I feel empowered and sexy and…very nauseous.

I pull away from him, pushing him aside in the mad dash to get out of the way. My chest tightens and the muscles running up my body and throat ripple with spasms. I gag once, coughing and wheezing and then…

Hot, smelly liquor vomit spills out of my mouth with little chunks hitting the back of my teeth. I can taste the soured alcohol and food on my tongue, almost making me want to throw up again. 

Wait, no. Make that throwing up again. 

I feel a hand on my back and Mario’s there holding my hair up and out of the way. I cough and look back, he’s still out of breath when he speaks and still somewhere between erect and flaccid. “Are you okay?” He asks. 

I shake my head. “Water please. Just…water.” 

Mario helps me to my feet and steers me on the path to getting out from behind the bar. There are some folding chairs around little lawn tables out here and he sits me down in one. “I’m going to go inside and find some water for you. Are you okay to wait here?”

“Yeah. I’ll wait…” I point down at my chair. 

Mario is gone for only a few minutes when a slender, pale arm extends down in front of me to offer a paper cup full of water. I glance up to see Rosalina, the mother of the Lumas and possibly one of the most important figures in the cosmos. The jury is still out on that last one. 

“Goodness, I am drunk. You’re some kind of hallucination, aren’t you?” My jaw is stiff and just feels wrong—my throat burns from throwing up. My throat burns so bad.

“I assure you that I’m real, but you’re correct in assuming that you overdid it.” Rosalina is a pale with flawless skin and teal-blue eyes, though one of them is hidden behind a swooping bang that hangs over her eye. Her usual fantastical light blue evening wear is replaced with a purple mini dress with black ruffles at the waist and the bottom him of the skirt. The whole thing bells out around her figure and just accents her body perfectly. 

She’s royalty in the kind of way that I never could be—flawless beauty, grace, and elegance. Her magic is in tune with her very being and she knows it. 

“How did you know where I am?” It occurs to me that no amount of tap water is could wash the vomit off my breath and that I look like a terrible mess. My boon of confidence and empowerment is replaced by shame—not shame because of what I did, I loved doing it, but I hate that I had to become uselessly impaired to have the courage to do something I wanted to with with the man I love. 

“I always know where you are.” Rosalina tilts her head to the side and gives a tight lipped little smile. “I know how you’re feeling and I know when you need help. Right now, you need my help, Queen Toadstool.” 

I shake my head on instinct. She’s wrong, she’s never been more wrong about anything. “I’ll never be Queen. Who would want this as a Queen?” 

“Your kingdom, for one. They’ve never asked for another ruler nor have they wanted for anything more. The brothers follow you with relentless persistence too. And though you’re young other rulers listen to your council the same way as they would a wise old sage.”

A fit of coughs erupts from me and I slap my hand over my mouth, fearing that I might vomit again. “Right. They’d rather have someone like you—look at you. You make being _this_ look so easy.” 

“I had the best teacher in the cosmos.” Rosalina lifts my chin with her fingers poised lightly under it. Her eyes meet mine and she smiles, not just with her mouth, but with every part of her that can show expression. “You.” 

I take big gulps of the water before the cup falls away from my mouth slowly. “I don’t understand.” 

“My name is Princess Rosalina Toadstool, first of my name and heir to the throne of High Queen Peach Toadstool the second. I’m your daughter.” 


	7. The Butcher of Blackmill

Static flickers across the screen in little blips and dots as the video starts. The camera is focused on a hallway in an older version of my castle. For a moment the picture is steady, but then I hear Ludwig’s voice. “Do you want me to film it or just set it up and hand it to you?” He asks off screen. 

The camera changes elevation as it is handed off and moves down the hall to the end, turning to reveal a wide doorway that’s standing open. Princess Peach, a much younger Princess Peach, sits on the bed with her slender legs curled up under her. Her skin seems to shine with an unnatural light, but maybe that’s because the barred window to her side is letting through oranges and reds from the setting sun. Her face was rounder then, more youthful, yet it lacks the sophisticated elegance it possessed in her later years. 

Her hair was more strawberry blonde than just blonde, though whether this is a result of something she did actively or just age I can’t say. She’s without her dress, wearing only a pair of shorts and a shirt that’s made for her. Her usual eyeliner and lipstick are gone leaving her face clean and beautiful in a natural way. The freckles are her cheeks and the bridge of her nose are visible as the camera tightens in and there’s a gleam of sweat on her skin. 

“I’m sorry about the chains,” it’s my voice. The camera shakes as I speak and the princess doesn’t look toward me at first. “It’s just that you’ve already tried to escape and…well you know.” 

The princess shakes her head toward the camera. “Why do you think this is okay? My father will have your head for this, you know? I don’t care if you are the self styled ‘King of the Koopas’.”

“I asked for one favor.” My voice says. “I asked for the hand of the most beautiful woman in the land in marriage. Your father and his council had only to grant me that which I desire and we could be the strongest nation on this planet and you would be the most doted on woman on this planet. Anything you wanted would be yours. Your every desire and whim would be my only mission.”

“And Father told you that I’m my own woman. And I told you no. I will not stoop to marrying beneath myself nor will I marry a monster. You’re not of royal blood and the Koopa royal family, the real royal family was wiped out. Your country is little more than a husk and your Civil War did nothing but spill over into my lands as a humanitarian crisis and see the most brutish general named king of a once great nation.

The Koopa Kingdom will be great once again and you can help with that. Think of the world we could make for ourselves, our families?” I approach her closer now and the camera grows nearer. When I was shooting this did her words hurt so badly that I missed the subtle details of her beauty? Like the way her neck and upper chest turn red when she’s mad or how her fledgling breasts are pressed taunt against the fabric of the shirt I’d given her, showing the supple hint of their curves, revealing their secrets for me to see. 

The princess turns toward the camera and toward me, her eyes brimming with tears, her nose flaring up and she spits at me. I’d give anything to see her look at me with hate again. I’d give anything to see her alive and well—she could hate me forever, so long as the princess is safe. 

The me in the video, the Bowser, drops the camera in shock and it clatters on the floor taking the audio and video with it. I’ve watched this a hundred times over the last several days. I’ve thought about her every waking moment. What else is there for me? 

* * *

* * *

Blinding light floods in through a window as the curtains are drawn back. My remaining eye sears with pain as it fights to adjust and oddly enough my other eye feels it too, though there is no sight left in it. It is nothing now. A white, sightless mass that I hide from the world, another sign that I am the monster she said I was. 

“Goddammit, you can’t just lay here sticking the place up. You’ve got to bathe. You’ve got to eat. What happened to your plan of action?” Pauline’s voice sends shockwaves of pain through my head. I haven’t had a drink in a while, reality is starting to slip back in and it hurts.

“You come to my house and just sleep and drink my coffers dry. You’re crying at night and calling her name in your sleep—it’s enough, Bowser. Enough.” 

“What would you have me do?” I ask.

“Be strong. You’re one of the fiercest generals the world has ever known and now you lay in the New Donk Mayoral mansion masturbating dozens of times to a decade old video of a woman you never had…I know how many it is, I’ve counted because I can hear you!” 

Pauline sits on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs and glaring over at me hunched up against the corner. “Look, get up and shower. Go for a walk in the city or take in a club. Sit in the park and read a book. Do something to take your mind off of her and off of things.” 

“It’s all that I can think. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t even get to Mario and Luigi to ask them for help. I’ve probably killed Princess Daisy too.” 

“Daisy is a pretty rough and rumble gal and Peach is no wilting flower herself. No one has seen a body for either, so fo all you know they could be alive.” 

I shake my head. “If you felt this thing…when it touched me…when it took part of me away…” I point a claw to my missing eye. “…I could sense it. It wasn’t a person or a monster, it was just destruction. If it found her it would have killed her without hesitation.”

Pauline sighs. “You’ve got a little son that needs you. He can’t stay cooped up in Sarasaland forever with Daisy’s parents. Go for a walk and get yourself right so you can be a good father to him again, please.”

I shift in the dingy bed to get up and she holds up a hand. “And stop drinking all my liquor. The city can’t afford it.”

With Pauline gone the motivation to get out is drained from me to a degree. There was a sense of urgency in the way she spoke about junior and about my time during the war. The war is really a thing I prefer not to recall. Though the twisted shapes of the bodies piled into mass graves and the smell of burned flesh, seared to the bone by magic flame will forever haunt my nightmares. There’s no escaping that. 

Laying here dwelling on it won’t do me any good either. I shower and make myself as presentable as necessary. I leave the mansion, leave this district of the city and head to Riverside. New Donk City is divided up into seven wards and though there are huge populations in every one of them, Riverside holds the title of the most culturally rich area of the city. Coffee shops, jazz clubs, art galleries. 

Art has always held my interest, perhaps because the signs of my own culture were lost in the fires of burning cities set ablaze by separatists and slavers. Riverside is a short ferry ride from our location in the city center. Everywhere I go people stare at me, I did my best to hide my obvious identity before leaving. I wear a newsboy hat and a t-shirt that simply says _I heart ND_.

I walk the streets of Riverside after disembarking, I climb steps up to the fisherman’s wharf to watch the men from the boats throwing fish to each other as they’re ordered. A blind woman with skin the color of polished bronze offers to read my palm and I don’t have the heart to tell her no, though I know that when she says I will find happiness that she’s just like the other people in the world—out to make their money in way that they can. 

The sun is setting when I hear a semi-familiar voice call my name from across the street. For a moment I surrender to the desire to ignore it. Can I not be king for a day? Can I grieve and sulk in the city and just deal with my own shit? 

“Bowser Koopa—I know you’ve got small ears, but I’m sure you ain’t ignoring me!” A paw-like hand grabs my shoulder and I freeze. The woman who I know to be Hariet Broodal steps around in front of me wearing wispy thin sundress that’s the color blood, the color of her eyes. We’re two of the only non-humans in the area and she’s nearly my size in height. Though as a rabbit she would draw less attention than a Koopa. She smiles sweetly at me and bats her big eye lashes. “What are you doing in the city?” She stares at my eyepatch, but says nothing. It’s not exactly hard to notice. 

“Just working some things out. I didn’t think you’d come back to the planet after what happened last time…” 

“Mario and all that? It was unfortunate, but you paid us up front and it was a pretty exciting time. Plus I’m working for myself now—I’m my own woman with my own company. Beauty and the Feast Events. I’ve got a trademark and everything so if you’re looking to kidnap another lovely blonde and force her to marry you, I’m your gal.” 

I know she’s joking, but it stings non the less. Change the subject. “Are you working for someone right now?” 

“Renting a place in the city. It’s right up the street from here actually. I’m running things out of my apartment now, but soon I plan to get a dedicated office and maybe even an assistant.” 

“That’s…look, I need to get going. I’ll see you around, Hariet.” 

“You seem different. Is everything okay?” She asks. 

“I just need to be left alone.” 

“Bowser, don’t walk away from me.” Hariet calls after me and I do stop. What do I say to that? What do I tell her about what’s happening? “You hired me once upon a time and really helped me and my family out. I’d like to think we’re at least acquaintances and we can talk if you need someone…”

I can’t answer her. I can’t even look her in the face. 

“Do you like sandwiches? Not the shit you make at home, but honest, artisan sandwiches with fancy breads and aged cheese and the like? I know this place right up the road that makes the best sandwiches.” 

Hariet has me by the arm, her fur feels soft and warm and I don’t have the strength to tell her no. “Okay.” 

The walk to the sandwich shop is past all manner of street vendors. A bakery that sells fresh daily made bread and a butcher that’s got cut to order meat. There’s something frozen in another time about this area that somehow makes it feel progressive and futuristic, despite the contradiction. 

“So I had to get rid of the hat, do you like the bonnet?” Hariet points to the top of her head where a red wrap holds her ears and blonde hair back out of her face. I nod. “Yeah, it was pretty heavy with that big ass metal hat, I started to have neck problems and went to the doctor and the moment I mentioned it he was like ‘you realize that hat weighs like like two dozen pounds, right?’ I guess I never thought about it.” She laughs. 

My responses are the typical things that are expected in conversations like this. I drift through the things she’s saying not because I don’t care or because they’re boring, but because the more I see how the world moves on without Princess Peach I realize that someone that mattered to me doesn’t really matter that much. Even if she is the ruler of one of the most powerful nations on the planet. 

Hariet’s paw catches me in the chest. “Watch it!” There’s a screech and I glance up to see a yellow cab barreling toward us despite it’s brakes being applied. We’re too close to the street and I’m not fast enough to move her out of the way. Wrapping my arms around her and tucking in my tail, I turn my shell toward the car and shield her. 

The deafening screech grows closer and the world seems to slow down more with each passing second. But there is no impact. I glance back to see that the driver managed to stop just inches from my back. Moving Hariet back onto the curb I turn my attention to the car. “Watch where the Hell you’re going!” My balled up fists leave two huge indentions in the hood of the car, crumpling the metal and causing the car to buck from the impact. 

The driver honks in return, but I’m already stepping onto the curb. I can feel the growing number of onlookers. Hariet’s smile is flat, with her two front teeth showing over her red lips. “You could have saved yourself,” she says. “Like, you realize I can jump, like, thirty feet into the air. Seriously.” Her smile grows and she reaches up to touch the side of my face, her claws playfully playing over my scales, tracing lines down my cheek. “But that was sweet.”

“You’re welcome—I guess I didn’t realize that last part.” 

“There’s something going on with you,” she says. “I don’t know what it is, but something has happened to you.” 

“It doesn’t matter. Honestly.” 

Hariet looks at me. “Hmm, okay. Well, your sandwich is on me. Might I suggest the classic Sarasian. It’s the perfect tapestry of what this place is all about!” 

Kamek’s Deli. The name of the place catches my eye immediately. I knew that old wizard Koopa had retired, but I had no idea what he was doing with his time. The outside of the deli is marked by a red brick patio with metal chairs and tables under green and white umbrellas. People are sitting reading and listening to music in. The evening sun. 

“It’s just a chill place, huh?” 

“Yeah,” I say and for the first time I feel like I have something to say that matters again. “I know the guy that runs it.” 

We go inside and a grizzled, elder Koopa behind the counter in a white uniform with gloves on waves. “Bowser? Is that you, son?” 

“Kamek. Why didn’t you tell me you moved to the city?” I ask.

“Look, the Bowser I raised practically didn’t care for stuff like this. I never thought you’d come here on vacation, much less a date with a beautiful young lady.” Kamek points to Hariet, though he’s wrong about what she is to me. She’s much younger than me and actually has prospects as woman who’s beautiful and who isn’t associated with being the embodiment of greed and the bad guy. 

“Kamek, you know me. It’s Hariet!” She says. 

The old Koopa squints over the counter at her, pushing his glasses up onto the bridge of his beak. “Hariet, child? Oh, I told you that you needed to find yourself a good man. Won’t do better than this and if he gives you any shit, just tell me about it!” 

Kamek is getting on in age and, though he raised me as an orphaned child and made sure that I survived my early years as a child born in one of the most vicious wars in our recent history, the two of us had lost touch at some point. He stares me down. “You get this fucking around with that Mario?” Kamek is pointing at my eyepatch. 

“No—someone else.” 

“Well, I’m sure if they got this much off of you the other guy isn’t walking around anymore!” 

I don’t know what to say. A line is beginning to form behind us and Hariet takes charge of things. “Are you up to make us two Sarasians, oh, with the red peppers on them!?”

“For you little lady, anything!” Kamek says as he retreats down the side of the counter to pull out two fresh loaves of bread. He slices into them and begins to pile on onions and peppers. Then lettuce and some kind of sauce. As he makes the rest of the sandwiches he glances over at me. “Your aura is off. Is there something the matter?” Kamek asks. 

“Just a lot on my mind,” I say with a chuckle. 

“You know the old saying: heavy is the head that wears the crown.” Kamek becomes occupied with constructing the rest of the sandwiches and when he is done he uses a knife to slide the finished products onto separate plates with some homemade chips piled up alongside them. 

“Yeah, I remember you used to say that a lot.” 

Hariet steps between me and the counter. “How much. These are on me…” 

“They’re on the house. Consider it a reason for you to come back and see an old man now and then.” 

I take the plates and nod to him. “I’ll take that to heart.” 

The patio outside clears off enough for us to get a seat near a corner, right next to a wrought iron fence. Hariet takes her seat across from mine with her back to the sidewalk and street. She crosses her legs under the table, securing her dress so the wind doesn’t catch it. “You know, I hate to be that person, but I figured you would explain this by now.” She points at her own eye. 

“What’s there to explain?” 

“The mighty Bowser is missing an eye and Mario didn’t do it. Who did?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Hariet takes a bite of her sandwich. “Mmhm, well this just goes to show that not everything in the world needs to be seen to be believed. Taste it.” 

I bite into it and there’s a layer of crunch and the wet snap of lettuce. A tomato’s juice is loosed into my mouth and the rich, savory flavor of meet mingles with the pleasant sourness of cheese. There’s something I don’t recognize. Something tangy.

“What do you taste?” She asks.

“It’s rich,” I say through a full mouth. “But crunchy and the flavors all compliment each other. There’s one thing I can’t pin down.”

“That’s the Muda Vignette sauce. It’s like an olive oil mixed with Sarasian Muda wine and a pepper specific to that same region. Muda is known for their wines and peppers. A few years back the family and I planned this beautiful wedding in Sarasaland near the border of Muda and the wine was simply unbelievable.”

Hariet takes another bite. “I was in charge of pyrotechnics, but my passion was cooking and I oversaw catering at larger events. I ain’t a stranger to the kitchen.” Her eyes close and it’s obvious that the taste and aroma are deeper than a surface level appreciation for her. She gets lost while chewing for a moment. 

I eat my sandwich and most of the dinner continues in silence. The sun is behind the buildings now and the sky is a silvery blue as the light dies away and the city comes to life with neon and florescent splashes of color. 

“This was really good.” I tell her. 

“I’m glad you like it. How did you know Kamek? He seemed pretty close to you.” 

“When I was a kid my parents died in the Koopa Civil War. Kamek found me in the ruins of a city and raised me as his own. I fought alongside him and rose through the ranks to become one of the last generals fighting and when the battles were over and we needed someone to untie our kind it was me that everyone chose.” 

She smiles, resting her chin on top of her linked fingers as she stares across the table at me. “To me that makes you more of a ruler than these other jokers. Your people chose you. Your crown was earned through blood and strife. You came up from nothing and made something of yourself. I’ve heard the parliament looks down on you because of how you got power, but they’re so far removed from any danger. They don’t know what it’s like to wonder where your next meal will come from or if you’ll wake up tomorrow to find yourself another casualty of someone else’s conflict.”

Something touches me under the table, running up and down the side of my leg. It takes a second for me to realize it’s Hariet’s shoe making slow circles against my scales. Her red eyes test my reaction and a sly smile grows on her face. “Have you ever seen the New Donk skyline from across the bay at night?” She asks. “It’s lovely. We could enjoy an old bottle of that Muda wine and take it in from my place upstairs.” 

All that I can do is nod. 

* * *

* * *

The halls outside her apartment is all dark wood flooring with white walls and black trim. There’s very modern paintings lining the walls that just look like splashes of color and accidents. Hariet is fighting with the key, trying to get it to turn in the door while I stand behind her watching. 

When the door finally pops free of the wall and the deadbolt is out of the way she pushes her way into the apartment with her hip and turns to look at me. “The key is a little stubborn.” 

My feet pad across the floor as I step inside over the same dark wood flooring and close the door behind me. She flicks on a light as she passes and steps out of her heels, leaving them alongside the wall near the kitchen entrance. “Let me get you that wine.” 

The interior of this place is so normal. The furniture is all dark black of gray. The walls are an off white and the couch is too. Everything feels like it fits together. On the wall just across from the kitchen are photos in tasteful dark wood frames. Some of her and her family. And some of her and past clients. There’s one of the two of us on the moon with a reluctant Princess Peach. I can’t stop staring at it. 

“This is not my place, but I have to say, you deserve better.” Hariet is holding out a whine glass and her smile is little more than a hint of the corner of her mouth lifting. “What happened to her?” She asks handing me a glass of wine.

“I don’t know. I shouldn’t care, but…”

“Bullshit. Don’t try and bullshit me, Bowser. You know why you care and you know that it’s a valid reason. This is what I am talking about. You view that woman as the legitimacy you’ll never have. It doesn’t get anymore royal than the Toadstool Dynasty, but no matter who you get to marry you or what you do you will _always_ be illegitimate to them.” Hariet points off toward no one in particular, pointing out of her large window at the city skyline. 

New Donk City central is in the distance glowing with a halo of white light and reflected across the rippling mirror of the bay. In the moment I can tell she didn’t lie. The city from up here is marvelous and beautiful in a way that I never would have realized. I drink my wine in several hurried gulps. It burns with foreign flavor that inspired the sandwich from earlier. 

“If no matter what you do you’re going to be the outsider, stop trying to shrug that off. Make what you are count, Bowser.” Hariet’s closer to me now, her pelvis pressed against my front as she sways side to side with her breasts a hairs width from grazing my chest. 

“What do you want from me, Hariet?” 

“What I wanted when I first saw you,” she says finishing off the wine. Her lips are pressed to my mouth and the astringent taste of alcohol is all I taste as we kiss. Her tongue is forceful and presses against mine for a moment before she breaks the connection. 

Her eyes search mine and then she pushes forward again to bite my bottom lip lightly. She giggles, rubbing her snout against mine. Hariet snatches the hat off of my head and runs her paw through the tuft of hair on top of my head. She drops the hat to sit on her bonnet, her ears twitch from the impact and jostle it to the side. “Relax,” Hariet takes my face in her hands, closes her eyes, and kisses me on the snout. 

She pulls me toward the couch, leading me toward the center cushion to sit. “What are you doing?” My voice is small, but I can feel it echo through the empty apartment. 

“Hmm, well what do you want to do with me?” She stands in front of me, pivoting side to side on one stocking covered foot and looking down at met through half closed eyes. Her paws reach up and she hooks her thumbs through the straps of her sundress to work them down over shoulders. The dress falls to crumple around her shapely hips. She puts her knees onto the couch on either side of me to straddle my lap. “I said, what do you want to do with me?” 

Her nipples are pierced with little black barbell shaped pieces of metal that show distinctly against her fur, though the areola and the area around it is hairless and large. She grabs my hand and presses it into the soft space beneath her breasts. I cup the soft supple mound of flesh, rolling her nipple between my thumb and index finger. Hariet’s skin trembles at my touch and her hips buck against me in jerky, trembling motions. Her body tenses and her agonized whimpering is muffled against my neck. 

Catching her at the waist, I move her so that she’s sitting upright in my lap and bury my snout in the soft fur of her chest. My searches the bare skin of her areola, finding the cold metallic barbell and swiping over the erect flesh it holds taut. Hariet lets out a hisses, digging her chin into the top of my head. “That’s it…” She stokes something in me. The saccharine tone of her voice, the sweet smell of her sweat, and the taste of her skin…I can feel myself becoming engorged, swelling out of my cloaca. 

She nuzzles her chin against me as she sighs into my ear. “Show me the real you, the side that’s hidden away. Show me _The Butcher of Blackmill_.” My hair stands on edge at the sound of her words. 

Fire swells beneath the scutes of my shell. The air around me is cold and the only warmth is Hariet’s thighs pressed against me and the rise and fall of her chest. She searches my expression, though I can’t tell what for. 

Or maybe she senses it too. Overcome with a primal hunger, I push her off to my side and stand up off of the couch. As she gazes up at me with a toothy little grin I can tell this is what she wanted. I snatch her up at the waist, lifting her to stand near the wall. A moment ago she felt so much bigger, like we were nearer in size. 

My body presses Hariet sharply, roughly until her breasts flatten against the plaster pattern of the wall. She looks at me over her shoulder with a devilish smile. Her half-closed red eyes that brim with tears. “Mmm, yes…” her words are little more than a breath now. 

I thread my claws into the blonde hair of her braid and pull it and her ears until her neck cranes back. She lets out a sharp gasp before a smile spreads across her lips. As I slide inside of Hariet her paws flatten against the wall, claws digging into the surface of the wall. 

She feels so warm and wet and just, nice. How long has it been? How have I neglected to find this for so long? I bite into her back, holding her firmly between my teeth as a little shiver that starts between her shoulder blades and works its way down her back. 

Hariet grunts, pushing back against my jaws as her hips thrust back into me. We meld together for one single purpose, the rest of the world falling away. Our bodies bump an off time motion until her knees buckle, until the thudding against the wall grows to a rhythmic constant. The smells of her, the sounds she makes…the way she plays helpless. Right now, this is all I need. 

* * *

* * *

It’s winter and I’m in Blackmill again. The battle has already ended because the snow is stained brown in spots with blood and heaps of bodies lay half sunken in the newly fallen precipitation. 

There are stone structures in the distance and piles of wood—what used to be buildings are now little more than crumbling structures with the embers of a dying fire at their center. I was one of the lucky ones. I’d survived. Blackmill made me a hero. It made me a king. 

We won the war here. Sure, it would drag on for several months as the pockets of rebellion were put down and scattered to the winds, but this was the true end of the Civil War. This is where the history of my kingdom started. 

And though we won, the civilian population was decimated. Women and young girls raped and brutalized, cities firebombed to ash, people starving to death in shelters. Blackmill was the risk we’d taken to stop the separatists from ravaging the rest of the country and it was a terrible price to pay. 

Something smells delicious. My eyes spring open to see a fresh sandwich on a plate before me. There’s a sliver fruit next to it. The sandwich itself is topped with egg, cheese, and bacon. 

Hariet calls to me from somewhere in the distance. “I hope you don’t mind I took the liberty of making you breakfast.” 

“You really didn’t have to.” I sit up and start to eat some of it, despite my words. 

“Nonsense,” she steps into the room and she’s in a bra and underwear, her hair is curly and dangling down at her sides free. “I had a wonderful time last night. You were phenomenal, heh, as I knew you would be.” 

She wraps a checkered skirt around her ample hips and fastens it, putting on a belt over it. For the top of her body she chooses a white button up blouse. “Where are you going?” I ask.

“To work, darling. Just because we fuck doesn’t make me a Queen quite yet…a girl has to earn a living.” She puts in purple earrings and secures her ears down with a black headband. “Don’t worry though. You’re welcome to stick around here as long as you like…Hell if you’re still here when I get home maybe I can show you a few of the other things I can do. 

Hariet walks up to me, straddling my right knee and kisses me on the lips. “Whatever you decide to do, you know where to find me. And stop trying to be who they want you to be.” She turns to walk off, her tail twitching beneath the skirt as she walks toward the door before she turns back and winks at me one last time. The apartment door closes behind her. 

When she is gone I eat the food she provided for me, clean up after myself and leave. There’s no point in being here any longer than I have to—being with this girl will only cause her heartache down the line. She just doesn’t see it coming yet. 

Kamek’s deli is on my way back toward the mayoral mansion. I need to tel Pauline what’s happened. Got to regroup and plot a course from here. The world seems clearer today without the haze of a hangover clouding my mind. There’s an unoccupied table at the corner of Kamek’s patio. I drop into the seat, testing to see if it will hold my weight just to rest my eyes. 

A cup and saucer rattle as their placed on the iron table. “This ain’t another freebie, I just don’t want my customers thinking I’m letting riffraff rest here for free.” Kamek says with a wink as he pours a cup of coffee. “Where’s your lady-friend. Notice that you didn’t come back by here the other night…” 

“She went to work.” That’s as detailed as I want to get and it says it all. 

“Hmph,” Kamek gives me a sly smile as he walks back into the cafe.

I’m there for several minutes. By the time that sip on the coffee it’s already cooled to be lukewarm. It’s unsweet and dark, but not bitter. There’s a nutty aftertaste to it. 

“Here’s a sight I never expected to see.” That voice. I had hoped she wasn’t dead, that she would show up and say she hates me…that she would say anything to me. Here she is. Princess Peach. She’s marred by the sun, her blonde hair glows with strands of silver and white at it’s edges where the light crests around her silhouette. Something is off about her smell and her height. She seems larger now, in every sense of the word. More statuesque and even more regal than I remember. 

My eyes adjust to the light and I see the white-blonde hair swooping down over one eye and the pale skin of Rosalina. She’s dressed in a tight turtleneck and a flow little skirt covered in flowers of various shades of blue. “You…”

“Yes me. The woman who had to help Mario stop you from destroying the cosmos. Why are you here drinking coffee like you’re part of polite society?” 

I glare at her. “I thought you were…look, I’ve got not qualm with you. That thing with the universe was an accident. But things are different now.” 

Rosalina cuts me off. “Where is Princess Peach? Or Mario? Or Luigi? Or anyone from that group.”

“Huh. Mario and his brother…I’d imagine they’re in the world and Peach is…I’m sure she’s dead.” 

“Impossible. If she were dead I would know,” Rosalina said. “She’s alive, but I can’t locate her if she’s not on world. The planet Mario is from…Earth was it?” 

“I think so…” I say, but get cut off again.

“Good. I know the way. Come on.” She motions with her for me to follow.

I take another drink of coffee. “What do you want?” 

“You’re coming with me.”

“Why?” 

“Because I said so and because you tried to destroy my domain and I might need your help.” She turns to walk off down the street and I can’t help but notice the way her butt moves under the confines of the skirt. Since Hariet something has come over me.

Rosalina glances back. “What happened to your eye?”

“It’s a long story. I doubt you’ll care.”

“Hm, you’re right. I really don’t.” 


	8. Rosalina's Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return to form and to the world of the Mushroom Kingdom

How could I have had anything to do with the upbringing of Rosalina? None of it makes sense, but I know that she’s telling the truth. There’s something in her that’s so…trustworthy. She’s always felt so familiar. 

Rosalina lowers herself into the seat next to me causing the chair to scrape against the concrete. She rests her hands on her knees as a spotlight passes over us. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I’ve always been very blunt and to the point. I think I get that from you—my you, anyway.” 

“Your me?” 

“It’s all very complex, but essentially just know that I am your blood daughter.” She sighs. “Things get all wonky when you can exist outside of time and space…” Rosalina laughs lightly and brushes her hair out of her face only for it to fall into the same position. “I told you a long time ago where I came from. Think back.” 

Our first meeting the universe kind of tired to end. I’d been kidnapped along with castle stolen by Bowser. It’s hard to remember anything other than terror and the endless void of space.

“The universe was destroyed and remade right before your eyes and you were too busy being worried over Mario to even see it.” Rosalina says. “That’s the constant—that’s the thing that encompasses every alternate version of you. You are your undying devotion to Mario. Maybe too much.” 

That’s right. She did say something about the universe remixing itself and becoming a new version. Mario and I inhabited this new world. Rosalina had been from another one too. Was that it?

“There was a universe before yours, the one where I originated and there I was the daughter of two loving parents who doted on me endlessly. I remember thinking that you were the most beautiful woman in the world and just wanting to be half as pretty as you.” 

“Mission accomplished.” It sort of slips out of me. 

Rosalina laughs. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to be having a conversation with my mother. A young version of my mother with her best days ahead of her…” 

“Best days. My kingdom is in shambles and I nearly threw up on my future husband.” I say in a huff.

Again she laughs and she sounds like me, her mannerisms are mine. How did I not notice this before? “Dad told me that story.”

“Mario told you I performed oral sex on him behind a dirty nightclub bar?” My voice goes high before I bring it back down and glance around to see if anyone noticed. 

“Oh goodness. No-no, I didn’t mean…” Rosalina looks genuinely shocked. “He said you were just kissing…” 

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I guess I should have—don’t you hate that your mom is kind of stupid?” 

“You’re not. You just need my help.” 

“Help how?” 

“By using the Cosmic Observatory to take you home. There’s a great battle we must prepare for, but I have to warn you…this is where things get hard. There will be no easy route to victory and there is great loss in your future. You will manage and be stronger than ever, you always do.”

She’s giving me a choice without really giving me a choice. Either I take a risk and leave to face whatever this evil force is or I sit on my hands content to see the end of my dynasty and my people. The decision is made for me. 

“How soon can we get back to the Mushroom Kingdom?” 

“As fast as you ask me to take you.”

“Princess? Are you okay—“ Mario jogs up with Luigi and Daisy close behind.

“We were worried sick about you…Rosalina?” Daisy is the first one to actually say it, but the sight of the other princess causes Mario to freeze. 

Mario scratches at the side of his face. “When did you get here?” 

Rosalina produces a pocket watch, seemingly out of thin air, and flips it open. She examines it for several seconds. “Not long, but the sooner we get to the Mushroom Kingdom, the better. There is a lot at stake here…” 

I stare at Mario and then look to Rosalina. “Mario, there’s something that Rosalina needs to tell you…it might be kind of hard to hear, but I need you to trust her.” 

Rosalina locks eyes with me and I know that she knows what I want her to say. Then she turns to Mario. “Bowser is here with me…he’s on the Observatory, but I promise he won’t be trouble for you.” 

She eyes me for a second. I’m sure that she has her reasons for not explaining to him what’s going on, though she offered up the explanation for me very quick. “You brought that creep here?” Daisy asks. I have to pretend not to seem surprised now too. Rosalina is still helping, she has to have her own reasons for not wanting to reveal herself.

“It will make sense in due time, for now we need to get ourselves ready to go.” I plead with them. 

“Yeah, Peach and Rosalina are right, everyone.” Luigi steps into the space besides Rosalina. “Even Bowser won’t want to jeopardize chances to stop someone worse than him—he helped Daisy to get here after all.”

Rosalina gives him a light smile, her eyes meeting his and then quickly looking down toward the ground. It’s strange she would look at him that way, but I can’t piece together what it could mean. “I know we’re all a bit overdressed, but we could leave from here,” Rosalina suggests. 

“Desperate times, the world can wait,” Mario says pounding his hand into his fist.

A brilliant light surrounds us, swirling like a maelstrom around us, blotting out the rest of the club. The floor, the sky—everything around us is whiteness so bright that it causes the edges of my vision to go fuzzy making people meld into the light. When it fades we’re on the observation deck of Rosalina’s Comet Observatory. The Earth is in the distance, it’s darkened surface dotted with lights below us. 

“I do hope you don’t mind me taking the liberty of teleporting us back here.” Rosalina says. 

“You live here?” Asks Daisy. 

Rosalina nods and walks through the middle of our group. Her dress shimmers white and then begins to glow like a mass of tiny jewels. The shape and cut of the dress are reconfigured until she’s wearing her usual long sky blue dress with its short train dragging behind it. Two of the star-like Luma creatures zip in behind her, taking up the train of her dress to keep it from dragging against the floor. 

Someone is watching me from the shadowy side of the room near the door. Their sight is burning a hole into me, burrowing into my confidence to make me feel even more self conscious. I glance over my bare shoulder, a hint of light from the glow of the sun cresting over Earth splashes across my skin as I move, and I spot one eye peering out from the distance. 

There’s a thunderous step as Bowser reveals himself, his claws holding the frame of the large door he’s standing in as he steps into the light. The eye patch that he wears now is haphazard and clings to his face at an askew angle. His flame red hair is a stringy mess and he just overall looks more disheveled than usual. 

“Princess…” 

“Let me see,” I cross the floor walking toward him as a well of concern swells in my chest. “Please, just let me take a look.” 

Bowser lets out a sigh before he lowers himself down so that I’m looking in his large eyes. He lifts the patch just enough for me to see. The open hole in his face is partially crusted over with thick, black blood. There’s a yellow substance at the center that looks newer and freshly dried. 

“You’ve let it get infected.” I reach out with my hand to touch his face. “May I?” 

Bowser’s only reply is a small nod. I place my head on the ridge of his brow, just above the wounded eye and concentrate. My eye lids fall shut and there’s an intense warmth within my body that wells up like water building pressure. There’s a flash of something—I can’t see it, but there’s an emotion that I feel so strongly. An intense sadness that hurts deep inside my chest. Is this feeling mine or Bowser? It comes off as too personal for it to be anyone else. 

Then there’s an imagine in my head that was originally seen through eyes that are not my own. Bowser is making love to that wedding planner rabbit. Hariet. That numb, suffocating feeling that overtakes my whole body before orgasm washes over me. Before I can finish the experience or make any embarrassing sounds I let him go and open my eyes. 

The wound is closing now, the skin pulling itself together with a white, milky mass at the center. Bowser’s new, sightless eye. “I did what I could.” I’m out of breath and my drunkenness is still dulling my senses. Healing him took a lot out of me. These are powers I don’t often channel and even when I do the wounds feel less resistant. 

This is something different somehow. 

Mario crosses the room, passing along the side of Bowser and I. He glares up at Bowser from the side, his hands shoved into the pockets of the slacks. “What was it Bowser? What did you see at the castle?” He asks. 

Bowser turns his massive head toward Mario. “I can’t explain it. It was like living darkness.” 

Daisy throws her hands up. “They think it’s the Ruin. They think this is the coming of fucking Ruin.” 

“Those are fairytales.” Bowser says scoffing. “I am going to find out who did this,” he points to his eye. “And when I do there’s no force in the universe that will stop me from tearing them to shreds.” 

“The Ruin is real.” Rosalina says. “If the Ruin wasn’t real how would you explain the unoccupied kingdom left in shambles on your planet? Or the powers that we—were possessed by the Toadstool line.”

“You don’t actually believe the old stories? The one about the goddess?” Bowser turns to her as she walks in. Now I am confused. There’s nothing about any goddess. What goddess?

“I believe them because I know them to be true,” Rosalina says. 

“What is this goddess thing?” Asks Luigi. “Who’s it supposed to be about?” 

Bowser grumbles to himself. “The Great War of legend really happened, but the story about Princess Peach the First killing the King of Ruin is more or less the part that’s myth. Ruin was said to have unfathomable power and he was only bested by Princess Peach because she bartered with a god for power. Ruin cursed her with his final act, promising to return and wipe out her line. The goddess who the princess took the power from promised to leave her power with the Toadstool line.” 

My chest feels tight. The sound around me is like a hollow ring and I feel the cold air mingling with the sweat on my skin. Too much…this might be too much. There’s a tingle in my leg and I feel like I’m going to go careening off a cliff. Palm to my chest, I stumble to one side. Mario has me at the waist, supporting me. “A goddess?” I finally manage. 

“Why have we never heard this before?” Asks Daisy.

“It’s not a widely known part of the legend. My mother told me of it, but not many know about it.” Rosalina says. “Much of the pomp and circumstance surrounding the royal family of the Mushroom Kingdom comes from old tradition. Peach’s attitude and generally cheery disposition is a hold over from that goddess, even after all this time. The tradition about remaining a virgin until marriage is to assure that no one outside of the royal line inherits godhood. Your kingdom’s prosperity and well being has to do with you being in it. You’re the power behind the Mushroom Kingdom’s good fortune.”

“When we were girls I used to talk about how you healed faster. You were so nice and you seemed to have a way with animals. Are these things because…” Daisy freezes, her hands covering her mouth. 

I hide my face inside my hands, breathing sharp, stuttering breaths. “No. No. No…there—there are people who have magical abilities. I’m just a regular girl who happens to be a princess. What about…Ashley? She’s got magic and she’s not descended from gods or whatever.” 

“Ashley? The psychotic bitch who works for Wario’s vaporware company? That’s your go to for ‘magic is normal’?” 

“You’re not helping, Daisy. How would you feel knowing that you had some grand destiny? Or if you found out that your kingdom didn’t do well because of your skill running it or the resilience of your people, but because some goddess granted you a power that you never asked for!” Words won’t come out. My body pulls in sharp, wheezy breaths. They’re not working and my chest hurts so much. My throat goes dry. Every breath seems to come faster than the last and I double over. 

“Princess, you’ve got to calm down.” Luigi runs to my other side, steadying me with Mario. 

“You’ve got to hold your breath—you’re getting enough air…you’re getting too much. Just slow it down.” Mario says. 

I hear the sound of footfalls somewhere off to my side. The pounding feels intermingled with my heart. Everything at the edges of my vision grows dark. A slender hand grips my shoulder and someone presses a bag to my mouth. I can’t feel the ground beneath me. Everything flips and I’m on my back looking up at the clockwork like components of the Comet Observatory. 

“Breath into the bag, Peach. Just breath…” Rosalina’s face is down over mine. Somewhere through the murk I can hear Mario. There are strong hands cradling my head. A gruff grumble from Bowser. Stop spinning. Everything is just endless spinning. 

* * *

* * *

Bowser is shoving a glass of water in my face the moment that I can think straight again. Mario is sitting with my legs propped up in his lap and one of my hands clasped in his. Daisy is mid-sentence. “…get these from time to time as kids. I thought that they’d stopped.” 

“You don’t just stop getting panic attacks,” Rosalina says off to the side, I can practically hear the eye roll in her tone. 

Water sloshes over the sides of the glass, splashing across my shoulder as I push it away. “I’m okay.” The first time I say it there’s almost no sound. It’s more like I am mouthing the words. “I’m going to be okay, just…tell me how far we are from home.”

“I’m not sitting this ship down anywhere near the Mushroom Kingdom and you’re in no condition to go right back there and face that.” Rosalina says. 

“She’s right.” Bowser sounds concerned in a way I’ve never heard. 

“Ah-I say we go with the plan. Wedding in New Donk City and appeal to the rulers of the other kingdoms for help,” Luigi says. 

Bowser’s eyes search my face and then he looks to Luigi. “Who is having a wedding?” 

My hand goes to my chest, suddenly I feel exposed in this dress and laying on this table with onlookers. I sit up. “I am. You know that the leaders will not listen to a junior monarch. I’ve got to be Queen to command any kind of respect.”

“And you’re just going to marry Mario? Is that it?” Bowser’s fists tighten until his clawed fingers are pressed against his scales. He eyes Mario with an intensity that is such a sharp contrast from a second ago. “You think that they’ll let you marry a commoner because you ask? You would have a better chance of commanding respect with a real king by your side. You’re making a mistake, Princess!” He slams his fist into the partition of the wall around the small area where I lay. 

Testing my weight on my feet before hand, I stand up. Keeping my grip near the edge of the counter where I was laying in case I lose my balance. My eyes fix on Bowsers and I press closer to him, until he shrinks back. “They will let me marry whomever I damn well please because **I** am the rising sun and the tidal force of the Mushroom Kingdom. I will not be told how to love. I will not allow my wants to be superseded by petty tradition.” 

Things are a little wobbly as I step back and rest my hand on the edge of the table. “Now, if you listen I do require your help…as an ally like the Koopas were before your Civil War.”

“You don’t need Bowser the man. You need Bowser the Butcher of Blackmill…” he says. 

“No, actually. I need Bowser’s contacts first and foremost. I’m planning a very fast, reasonably lavish wedding. All my coin is tied up in my own kingdom’s holding, but I can get a loan. The more important thing is I need you to contact the bunny girl for me—the one who worked pyrotechnics when you kidnapped me.”

“Hariet Broodal?” Bowser asks. 

“Yes, the one with the lovely blonde hair…that’s her. I feel that she gets my style choices and we were on the same wavelength, could you contact her and tell her I’ve got a job for her?” I ask. 

“Why do you assume that I know how to? Mario beat them into oblivion the last I heard.” His eyes flare up at the mention of bringing her in on this, but he seems less angered and more on edge. 

“Because you contacted her before.”

Bowsers eyes trace a line over the faces of all those around me. It’s like he knows something is going on that he doesn’t have hard evidence for and can’t quite put his finger on. He’s going to need more reason than that.

“I don’t want things to get too out of hand. It’s not like I want to trust the Broodal family in whole and I would feel more comfortable with a woman’s touch.” It makes as much sense as anything else.

He stares at me and then turns toward Mario. “When did you propose to her? How did you do it?” 

“I proposed to him and I did it one day in front of his brother in his apartment.” 

“We’re closing in on the planet. I’ll prepare for the landing sequence, though people in New Donk might be shocked to see a ship this large.” Rosalina moves to leave the room and I call after her. 

“Rosalina, wait—there’s one stop I want you to make first.” I manage to make the short walk over to her, my chest is sore now. That over breathing took its toll, but I need to keep a clear head. “Can you put us down in the ocean south of the Luncheon near Kitchen Island?” 

“Kitchen Island? You mean the pirate infested Hellhole?” Daisy asks. “What makes you think you’re going to just waltz into a fucking pirate fortress and just take all of that on?” 

My hand is shaking. There’s a risk here, but it’s the kind of risk that would give us the edge. Need to put my best foot forward. “I said it earlier—I’ve got this grand destiny now.”

“You’re not destined for greatness.” Rosalina takes my hands in hers. “You are capable of greatness. You were given an upper hand and the tools that would allow you to prevail. Your kingdom could still crumble, you could still lose to ruin, the original Princess Peach could have failed in her endeavor. Never forget that you’re not meant to do anything, so you have to do what you can.” 

I sigh. “That’s a bit of a relief and a little disheartening.” 

“How so?” Asks Mario.

“If you fail and have a destiny it’s just what is meant to happen. Now it’s all on me.” 

“If anyone knows you can do this it’s me,” Rosalina winks at me as she says this. 

Mario, Luigi, Daisy, Bowser, and the Lumas are standing across the room staring at the both of us. Does it feel odd for Mario too, like does he see the connection between Rosalina and I? Does he feel like she is someone important and trustworthy to him? I can’t be the only one. “If I am going to do this then I will need something from you…”

“Name it?” 

“I need to borrow something to wear—I can’t go out there like this.” My club wear is pretty fancy and that’s definitely not the kind of thing you want to show off around a nexus of thieves. “The other thing is that I need you and Mario to go with me…alone.” 


	9. Kitchen Island

Something went very wrong. 

Rosalina can usually move us from place to place reliably, but we didn’t teleport to the ground. We just appeared in the sky well above the ocean. We’re moving too fast for me to judge direction. I can just tell we’re streaking down through the sky toward the dark churning waters. Need to find some way to slow myself and the others.

My magic isn’t that good and I’ve never had to cast while falling at this speed. Mario is to my right, tumbling end over end, while Rosalina is further out, her face aimed toward the water and her arms back as if to channel wind. As if she feels me looking at her she signals something. Her arm moving against the wind to point to her side. 

Mario. She wants me to save Mario. 

I bring my hands in close to my chest, protecting myself from the wind as link the tips of my index fingers and thumbs together to form a small chevron shape. Only a few seconds left. Have to time this perfectly. I let everything slip away—the wind barreling past me whips my hair against my skin and the air stings against my arms and face. 

My hands separate, breaking the casting seal to complete the spell. A pinkish light surrounds Mario, expanding out like a balloon and slowing his descent until he is almost floating. No time for a second spell unless I slow myself down first. No parasol to help me this time and the surface of the water is closing fast. 

Arms and legs spread, I do anything I can to get some wind under myself to lessen the impact. It doesn’t feel like enough. The world is coming too fast. 

And then something hooks onto me around the waist and chest, wrapping my body tight and hoisting me up only to release me. This is all it took to keep me from hitting the water at full speed. I crash into the waves with a tremendous splash. Darkness and water swirling around me. In the distance I see the pink bubble that encompasses Mario and there’s something else. Something shimmering. Rosalina? 

I kick and struggle, fighting to get to the surface and thankful that I didn’t wear that heavy dress and corset into this mess. Ropes wrap around me from underneath and I’m pulled up into the air and out of the ocean. It’s some kind of net, my hand is caught through the large hoops made of thick rope lashed together. 

Against the graying sky where the sun set I see the dark outline of a massive boat with billowing sails and a deck lit by torchlit. I’m surrounded by stringy plants and wiggling fish. My mouth is full of salt and whatever dirt that’s in this water. When the net spills me out onto the deck of the boat I can hear gruff voices talking and feel the boots against the wood surface below me. 

“Tis’ a mermaid, boys. She’ll ‘ave to grant ye a wish in exchange for her freedom!” The first man to speak is close to me, his liquor breath stings as he breaths over me. 

I push off of my hands, lifting my back up into the air and my head with it. I hit the water harder than I thought, everything is sore. And then a boot slams into my stomach, sending me rolling over onto my back. Water sputters out of my mouth and I grab the point of impact. 

“Aye, she’s right pretty she is!” This voice sounds infinitely creepier. I open one eye to look at the source: a Shy Guy with a little bandana wrapped around his forehead over his mask. A small sword is shoved into the strap of his mask and he wears a frilly collared shirt. 

“Your captain…” I manage before coughing. 

“Hear that? She wants to see the captain! Love, you don’t need to see the captain. You’re our find!” 

“Bollocks, Kris, tell me how ye really feels.” This new voice has a commanding presence that seems to shake the very lumber that makes up the boat. It sounds vaguely familiar. But I can’t be sure why. There’s a thunderous thud as something hits the deck. “Next time one of you tries to hide something from me, I’ll cut you neck to nuts and leave what’s left to the fishes…we don’t deal in people, especially women-folk. The little lass is our guest and…” his words stop and I finally get a look at him standing where he’s just barely lit by the torchlight above me. 

He’s got the head of a shark and wears a dark cloak that covers his body. In his hand is a massive trident. His gills flare as he breaths through a water mask apparatus. “Well, I’ll be…you boys are lucky. You’re in the presence of one of your dear captain’s old friends and actual landlubber royalty. Princess Peach. It’s a pleasure to see you again, ma’am.” 

“Jonathan Jones…it has been some time, but I couldn’t be more happy to see you.”

“I assure you twas nothing, we spotted you falling from the sky and thought someone might be in need of some assistance. We’re bring your two companions aboard as we speak.”

“You’ll be happy to know that Mario is one of them.” I finally get to my feet and his men edge away from me, watching their captain for instructions. 

Jonathan points a fin at me. “Don’t just stand there lookin slack jawed, get the lady something to dry off with.” His crew scatters with this command, leaving him to help me back to my feet. He gives a slight nod. “So long as you’re here, you’re under my protection.” 

“Thank you, Jonathan.” 

“Though in the past I’ve seen you’re more than capable of handling yourself,” he says with a smile. 

Near the forward part of the ship some of the crew drop the pink ball containing Mario onto the deck, it’s rolled side to side with the swaying of the deck. Rosalina actually manages on her own by levitating herself out of the water and down onto the deck softly. Her hair and dress are completely dry somehow. She is the nearest to Mario and taps her wand against the pink protection spell, shattering the bubble. 

“Who is this?” Jones fails to even acknowledge Mario and instead rushes to Rosalina’s side, his fin cradles hers before he brings the back of her hand up to meet his face. 

“Oh, hi. I’m Rosalina…” 

“Captain Jonathan Jones at your service. You’ll have to excuse this old bit of sea scum,” he points to his own chest with a fin. “I didn’t expect to have one beautiful guest on when the sun crested over the horizon this morning, let alone two…” Jonathan kisses her hand and releases it, his eyes staying locked on her. 

Mario crawls up onto the edge of the deck railing, resting his forearms on the side of the boat before pulling himself to his feet. Confusion plays across his face as he spots the shark. “Jonathan?” 

“Me old mate Mario. You seem surprised to see me considering that it was you who fell from the sky.”

Rosalina walks around the side of Jones while he is distracted. “We were trying to make it to Kitchen Island, but something went wrong with my magic.”

“Kitchen Island? That would be no place for good folk like you.” Says Captain Jones. 

Mario glances toward me waiting for the answer. Rosalina says nothing. It looks like everyone is letting me take charge on this. “We need to speak to Captain Syrup.” 

“Easier said than done, Love. The Captain’s styled herself Admiral round these parts and she don’t take well to crown authority.” Jonathan says. 

I glance across the dark water, barely visible in the dim light of the torches on deck. “It’s hard to tell exactly where we are, but I have a proposition for her and I could remind her myself that the waters she operates in belong to _me_. When I’m done with my current situation I could make it my goal to come for with everything I’ve got.” 

Jones eyes me as if seeing me in a new light. His mouth hangs open, waiting for his mind to catch up to what he is hearing. The younger me that he met years ago had just recovered from being kidnapped by Booster and I was unsure of what we were getting ourselves into. There was a lot at stake for me, but this was different. My people had been taken from me. 

“Kinglsey!” Jonathan yells to someone further up the deck of the ship, wrapping a fin around over his mouth to carry the sound. “Set a course of Kitchen Island.” He waddles the deck, looking side to side for his men barking orders. “Lissen up you ricket-legged pieces of shit, I want all the wind me sails can carry. We’re in a hurry and we’re headed after the setting sun. I want us to catch ‘er or I’ll drown ye in the black waters me-self!” 

A wet, warm hand finds mine. Mario grasps my fingers in his and glances over at me under a furrowed brow. “What are you playing at, Peach?” 

“I’m scared that if we don’t hurry there might not be anything to come back to.” 

The sails unfurl with a rippling pop as the wind catches them. The ship lurches forward, the wind billowing through the rows of sails above them. It takes Captain Jones several minutes to walk the deck and when he returns he points up to the main mast near the center. “ _The Reckless Abandon_ ain’t the fastest ship, but she’s sure the most trustworthy. You’ll have your meeting with Syrup in no time!” 

“I appreciate it much more than you know, Captain.”

He nods down at me as the wind begins to sweep past us, pushing through my damp hair and chilling my clothes against my skin. Jones is staring at Rosalina talking to Mario in hushed tones and then glances at me. “What’s with her?” 

“She’s like…family, really. She’s just a different sort of woman.” 

Jones’s fin is poised against what would be his chin as he looks Rosalina over and then glances back to me. “Argh, I can see the family resemblance now, though it be hard to tell ye humans apart.”

A small smile spread across my face, though I try to conceal it. The waves jolt the ship as we pass over their crests. Wind direction seems to have shifted now so that it’s at our back. The sail puff out like a frogs chest drawing the ship forward. Kitchen Island grows nearer to us and my thoughts.

I don’t think any royal has set foot in the place in centuries. It’s been a pirate haven for most of recorded history. Captain Maple Syrup is only the latest incarnation of that. We’ve never met face to face, but I am sure my reputation has made me known to her as much as she is to me. 

“How far is it? To the island, I mean.” 

Captain Jones considers my question for a moment. “Shouldn’t be more than three hours if this wind keeps.” 

I nod. “If I required rest I would assume there’s some place that I could get it and maybe let my clothes dry?” 

“Yer welcome to me quarters.” He puts his fin up alongside his mouth as if to tell me a secret. “Just don’t get up to anything I wouldn’t do.” 

When we first encountered him, Jonathan had tried to test us in combat. We were successful, though he was no pushover. His attitude toward us since has been one of the utmost respect. “You have my word.” 

* * *

* * *

Mario joined me in the captain’s room near the rear of the ship on the uppermost deck. There had been no time for us to calm down and breath. Since the attack at his apartment we had been running without stopping. It honestly is taking a toll on me, but in an attempt to calm my nerves Mario did a thing that I only would allow him to do. 

There’s no lock on the door, so we’re lucky in a way that no one peeked in to see the two of us, my back pressed against the far wall of the cabin, the rough wood brushing against my bare skin. Mario was down on his knees with my legs resting atop his shoulders. His face was nestled between my legs, digging deep into my center.

When we were finished Mario washed his face in a basin of fresh water that he poured out of one of the jugs Johnny kept stashed on a shelf. And I caught a nap on the small sofa in the center of the room, my shirt pulled around my shoulders and buttoned together haphazardly. 

My eyes open to the scene in Johnny’s room, the cool sea air gliding over my legs is too soothing. I don’t want to face what’s coming. I don’t want this life anymore. The feeling that Mario instilled in me however long ago has faded as most pleasurable things are known to do. What’s left behind is fear. 

I am alone. 

Fantasy stories like this aren’t even spoken of in most kingdoms anymore. Why would anyone listen to me? 

Warm fingers comb through my hair down a path that’s familiar to them, following the wavy pattern that this particular set of tendrils takes naturally. “Dolcezza.” Mario’s words cause my hair to stir and brush against my ear. 

“I’m awake.” I’m whispering. Why am I whispering?

“I see land in the distance.” He kisses the side of my face and I turn over to meet his lips with mine. His kiss is trembling, desperate. He wants to tell me that we’ve got this because Mario is nothing if not positive, but he’s never seen an enemy like the Ruin. He doesn’t think he can protect me.

“How far away is it?” My face is right against his now, my voice still low.

He shakes his head. “Not far.” 

The floor boards are rough against my feet as I roll to sit up and pull my hair away from my neck and out of my collar. “Kitchen Island is pretty far from the mainland, but it’s rumored that the boats in port get so dense that we might have to drop anchor out here and take a smaller vessel in.”

“That worry you?” Asks Mario.

“It’s the safest thing I’ll do after leaving this ship,” I say over my shoulder as I walk out the door that leads back to the deck. Wind whips hair into my face and I push it away. The sea is rougher here, the boat rises and falls over the crests of the waves. White caps roll over the stop of the water barely visible through the darkness. 

Kitchen Island is glows in the distance with torches and lanterns on ships and shore. I step up onto the bottom of the railing and lean out over the water. Jonathan Jones comes up behind me putting his back against the rail next to me. “Looks like you’ve got something on your mind?” He asks. 

“Do you like weddings, Captain?” 

His eyes bore into me. I can feel them. “I’ve been known to attend the odd one or two here,” he says. “Why?” 

“Mario and I will be getting married soon. You’re welcome to come.” 

Jonathan tosses his fins up. “A royal wedding? This calls for a round of me best grog!” 

“That’s quite alright,” I say holding up a hand in protest. “I’ve had enough to drink for one life time.” A small laugh escapes me, but it really isn’t funny. My body feels hot and dried out, there’s a pounding in my head. This is all due to that drinking before. 

“I’d love to come support ye nuptials. Err, jus send me the time an place, Love.” Jonathan rubs the top of my head with a slick fin, his eyes smiling down at me as he does. 

We’re closing in on the shore now and it seems we’ve avoided the infamous crowds that plague the island. There’s a slit that leads into the marina; it’s only wide enough to accommodate a few ships leaving through the mouth, but I would imagine that this also serves to protect from an easy invasion by large fleets. The wind changes as the ship pitches to the side to take the turn toward the docks. 

“If you’ll excuse me, Your Grace, we’ll be making landfall soon.” The Captain makes his way toward the forward part of the ship raising his voice as he moves. “Alright you bilge swilling pieces of shit get the wind out of me sails. Bring ‘er round and drop anchor. And don’t damage me ship. Tide’s low and I’ll run ye through if there’s a divot in her hull!” 

The ship came to life with the pounding of feet as Koopas, Goombas, and smaller shark like men charged around pulling ropes and making the ship ready for docking. A shy guy swings across over my head on a rope to reach another mast, jumping expertly to land in the high up watch point. 

Rosalina is behind me. Not sure how I know, but I just feel her there before she speaks. “Being on sailing ships is one of your things.” She steps up to the rail next to me. “Or, at least, it’s going to be when I know you.” 

“Aren’t these the kinds of things that I shouldn’t know?” I ask. “Mario showed me this movie once, Forward to the Future or something, and they talked about how no one should know their future if they time travel…” 

“It’s Back to the Future and it’s one of dad’s favorites. Time travel doesn’t work like in movies and it’s not like I am telling you some vital information. A preference you have is a preference. Right now you like sailing, you just haven’t been one to do it often yet. It’s possible that my telling you about this whole thing is where you get it in your head that this like is something real.” 

“I already have a headache. I’ve had one since you told me this whole thing.” I check the deck for any prying eyes before saying more. “Why did you lie to Mario back there when he asked about you?”

“It’ll make it easier for him in the long run. It’ll allow me to be who I have to be.” 

“Who is that?” 

“When I was little I was always a daddy’s girl. I loved you deeply and we were more alike than a mother and daughter probably should be…but Dad could do no wrong in my eyes.” I recognize pieces of my mother in her, the coy smile she has as she says this. It’s probably something that I do I’m unaware of. “I want him to still have that.” 

It’s unclear what she means here. Rosalina had been cryptic since I had known her, but it felt like there was a real reason why. One day I’m going to create a person inside of myself and she’s going to be Rosalina. It’s crazy to think about, but I try to imagine her as a baby. I try to think of me teaching her or tucking her in at night or carrying her through the halls of a castle that doesn’t exist anymore. 

The hull of the Reckless Abandon shudders as we slow near the port. Already the air smells of fire and meat and alcohol. My headache goes into overdrive just imagining drink passing through my lips. 

Mario leans out next to Rosalina. “I guess we’re going straight to our destination?” He had stepped into the space beside her without me seeing somehow and I wonder if she knew he was there and how much he heard. Nothing about his demeanor feels like he knows anything—he’s genuinely wondering about what I aim to do here. 

“We don’t really have time to do much else. The sooner we can move forward with the wedding, the better.” Maybe that came out wrong. I don’t see Mario as a means to an end—he’s the love of my life and my waiting this long is a sign that I wanted to be sure that I could marry him. Most of my ancestors married young and had children much earlier than me, but then again most of them had mothers who would have stayed on the throne well into their twilight years if they hadn’t done something to assume the throne. With my mother gone there was no one to really rule the kingdom and as princess the duties defaulted to me. 

The change in Mario’s face feels like disappointment. “Oh.”

“It’s just that I’ve spent far too long contemplating whether or not it was appropriate to marry the man I love. That ends now.” 

* * *

* * *

All manner of folk wander the streets of the capital city of Kitchen Island, Flapjack. Jonathan assures us that we will be safe with him, but there seems to be little in the way of order here. In the few moments it takes us to traverse the dockside area of the city two men get into a vicious fist fight, we’re flashed by a whore, we happen upon a dead goomba with a knife in his back. 

“Tis a normal day,” is all Jonathan can say. 

Syrup Castle, at the corner of the island overlooking the city below is pretty massive, almost as big as my own castle. But it shows signs of its age. The castle was originally part of a different kingdom’s holdings—in fact it was the seat of a kingdom centuries ago. House Unwin became powerful and though they didn’t have much land they made up for it in using their incredible nay to raid passing ships. The piracy culture that exists today is a result of that, but it was also their downfall. Sarasaland, Daisy’s kingdom, was enraged when a young prince of theirs died at the hands of House Unwin’s men. They launched an assault on the island to wipe out the royal family, leaving one young boy alive to become their heir. Daisy is actually one of the few people on the planet known to still be of Unwin blood…

The rest of the Kitchen islanders fought and factioned off with a different king or queen of pirates winning out every few years to rule over things. Captain Syrup had been one of the more agreeable ones. 

Dingy tapestries hung high above the great hall, stained with age. The musty smell of the sea and salt filled the drafty halls. Everything was felt slick and wet. There was a thin layer of slime over parts of the floor and walls. Jonathan eyes me. “This is as far as I go,” he says. “Queens going to have a lot of questions and you don’t need me there mucking it up.” 

“Thank you, and remember what I said,” I tell him trying to bring his mind back to the wedding we spoke of earlier. He just nods. 

Everything in the great hall is painted with dull yellow light that flickers from the dancing flame of the candles. Mario, Rosalina, and I pad along the thick carpet that lines the middle of the floor, passing relics of cultures long gone and ships long plundered. There’s a massive reptilian skull, a dragon, more than likely. The things used to be everywhere. And opposite it is a rusted version of the Koopa Clown Car, obviously retrieved from the bottom of the ocean at some point.

There’s another room and a flight of stairs ahead of us before we enter the chamber here Jonathan told us to be. The doors are large and metal with ornate markings embossed on them. As I step through it there is a golden glow that fills this next room. Captain Syrup is seated on a throne that’s seen better days. A bushel of curly, dark red hair hangs behind her with the top of her head being tied tight with a purple bandana. 

She’s flanked by guards and all around the room around them are mounds of gold and jewels that sparkle in the light waiting the whole room in their warm light. 

Her red eyes find mine and she smiles. “Been a long time since anyone royal as you set foot ‘ere.” Her accent is hard for me to parse out at first. The words sound rounder coming from her mouth, like she’s not simply speaking them but being forced to speak the words around something. 

“This is true…my friend Jonathan Jones helped me to get here…” 

“The boys claimed you were dead. This a trick?” 

“No. I could see how things might seem that way, someone has invaded my land and stolen everything from me.” I explain.

Syrup laughs and leans forward in her chair. “That’s the way of the world down here. Nothing changes without conflict—you lost everything because you were too weak to have it.”

It’s important that I keep my composure. “If I go down then the world will follow…” 

“Is this gentlemen next to you THE Mario?” Syrup asks. 

Mario glances at me. “Um, yeah. I guess that I am that well known…” 

“It’s not just that. The Wario resemblance is kind of uncanny—are you sure you two aren’t related?” She asks. “I mean, you are much more attractive than him…though that doesn’t take much.” 

Mario laughs nervously while rubbing the back of his head, but I talk before he can. “Captain Syrup, you need to understand that the enemy that has invaded my kingdom is the Ruin from tales of old and that if they manage to gain their territory back they endanger us all.”

“And what, my dear princess do you want from me?” Asks Syrup. 

“Your fleet, but not in exchange for nothing.” I start. 

“There’s nothing you can offer me. I don’t even count as legitimate in your eyes and I operate outside of the borders of any country and do whatever it is I want.” 

“I can offer you legitimacy.” I close the gap between the two of us, stepping onto the bottom step of the dais around her. “If you’re wounded or killed you have no hope of holding this and no right to an heir to replace you. With part of my holdings, the islands to the south of my kingdom, Donut Island, as you own you would become nobility. What’s more is you could act as the general of my navy and have free reign from there so long as you don’t attack my holdings. Plus you would have access to what remains of my fleet and the letters of marque to prove it.”

“You’re asking her to be your…privateer…with a standing position,” Mario asks stunned. 

There’s wonder dancing in her eyes as she listens to the two of us. “You let your little man speak to you like this,” asks Syrup. “Heh, he should appreciate you, because well look at you—you’re probably the most beautiful creature I’ve laid eyes on.” Now there is something else in her eyes. I glance away. 

“Er, yeah. Thank you. I value his input in this situation, but what he says has no pull on my decision. My holdings are mine...for now.” 

Syrup leans down against her hand, tilting her head into her hand and smiling at the three of us slyly. “You plan to marry him then? Lovely—I mean you must really love him considering that you could do so much better…” she trails off. “But I will accept your deal under one condition,” she holds up a single finger as if the meaning of the number one wasn’t clear. 

“What is it?” Rosalina asks. 

Syrup smiles at her and sits back into her throne. “I get all of the things that you mentioned before, plus you are to allow me the honor of one kiss.” 

“Absolutely not. It’s un fair.” I fight the stammering that my voice wants to embrace as my cheeks redden. Who does she think she is?

Captain Syrup laughs, her eyes closed as she tosses her head back. “I would have asked for more, but I see that you’re otherwise occupied,” she points to Mario. 

“You’re out of line!” Mario shouts with his finger pointing at her. “What makes you…”

Syrup lets out a small sigh. “Princess Peach clearly loves you, but at the same time she is stunning. As you can see I surround myself with beautiful things. I’d love to possess her completely, to taste her, and feel every inch of her form…but I am also not a home-wrecker nor do I want to be the cause of anything so destructive as killing a relationship. I have some honor.”

“I’d remind you that if Peach is unable to get married she remains princess and can’t give you holdings. Only the queen can.” Rosalina says. 

“Who is she?” Asks Syrup.

“Rosalina. And I am thoroughly not impressed with you.” Rosalina says. 

“If you’d like a sample I can manage to give you one too. You look like you could do with some loosening up,” Captain Syrup says. 

Rosalina lets out a small gasp, slapping her hand to her mouth. Mario touches the small of her back, rubbing his hand upward until it’s between her shoulders. His eyes meet mine. “Do what you have to do,” he says quietly. 

“Huh?” I ask.

“If this fleet is what you need and Syrup has what you need you need to reach out and take this if it is what you really want.” 

“Who does this—she is just—just creating a problem where there shouldn’t be one! There’s no excuse for what she is asking of me.” I explain.

Mario blinks twice and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. I the great scheme of things it doesn’t matter if you kiss her or how many people you’ve kissed in the past…”

Captain Syrup rose from her throne and ran her fingers through her curls, pulling the bandana off of her head to toss it into the chair behind her. The guards flanking her advance toward Mario, Rosalina, and I with their hands poised on the hilt of their scimitars. Small grins spread across their faces and they look to each other and then back at us. 

I grab for Mario’s hands, clutching them to my chest. “Are you sure about this?” 

“I’m sure. I trust you and know that we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t need to be,” says Mario.

His hands slip from mine and I turn to face Captain Syrup. As she steps toward me she smells different than I expected, she smells of sweet spices and exotic oils. Her skin glistens in the light reflected off of the gold around us. “May I?’ She asks, reaching toward me. 

I nod fighting the urge to tremble as her hand cups my waist. She supports me behind the shoulder with the opposite hand, her thumb grazing the edge of my breast. On instinct I turn away for a moment, but as I start to turn she releases my waist and jerks my chin to face her, my hair is caught beneath her grasp, pinched against my cheeks. Mario’s boots skid as he goes to move behind me and stops. 

Syrup claims my lips forcefully and violently. Her jaw pounds against mine as she sucks on my bottom lip and bites the top. A soft sound manages to get out of me before I get control of myself, but my body just goes weak. There’s this smoothness and wetness to her lips, but at the same time there’s this dominance that batters down my defenses. 

The kiss ends abruptly and before I can open my eyes she’s pulled away and is wiping her mouth with a small handkerchief. “Mmm, can’t be caught dead with this pink lipstick on me. That’s for sure.” 

This feels like another defeat. If I told her yes why do I feel so humiliated? And at the same time, why does the humiliation feel weird. I’ve been laughed at for being the strange girl in school before, back when I was in school with other children who only saw me as the weird princess. I’ve been called goofy all of my life for being…well, kind of goofy. Humiliation is something that you come to know, but it has never been like this. 

Mario catches hold of my arm. “Are you okay?” He asks hugging me tight.

“Yes.” I look back to the captain. “Is that all you needed?” I manage, my lips sting and I want to cry, but I don’t quiet understand it. I’m not sad or scared. This is confusing. What is happening? 

Captain Syrup puts on her sweetest smile, so much so that it pisses me off more. “That’s all I needed from you. When you need us just send word through the warp zone.” 

“We need a warp zone that will take us as close as we can get to New Donk, if there’s one nearby.” Rosalina says. 

One of the guards nods. “There is one.”

“Yes, but why don’t we have something to drink and you can spend the night. We need to celebrate the new alliance that we’ve made,” Captain Syrup says. 

No. I need to be alone with my fiancé. I need to know if he can ever look at me the way he used to. Will this change anything between us? It feels like something is wrong inside of me. There’s a pain in my chest, the kind that pills won’t sate. “Sure,” is what I really say. “Break out the bubbly.” I need more alcohol now like I need a hole in my head. 

* * *

* * *

The moon is massive in the sky, lighting the outside promenade of Castle Syrup. The night air is thick and cool, ebbing and moving like the sea below. Shimmering waves mark the water in the distance and I can barely make out the boats against the pattern.

Mario is sleep and Rosalina vanished to do whatever it is that she does. Alone feels better right now. Mario is being stilted around me, but it feels like it might be my aura that is off this time. 

“You’re up late,” Syrup’s voice calls attention to her position behind me. 

“Coming from a world where time is out of sync with this one will make that happen.” I don’t turn around. 

Her steps tell of her growing closer. “So, just couldn’t sleep?” She asks. 

“There’s…a lot on my mind.”

“Like the kiss earlier?”

I shake my head. “No. There’s more going on in my life than this. There are a lot of moving pieces. I have people to worry about. I have an entire kingdom to keep safe.” I make my way further down the hallway past several large windows. There’s a set of double doors in sight. I pick up the pace trying to make it there faster. 

Captain Maple Syrup shoves into my back, her chest pressing me against the door. The door handles are pushing into my diaphragm. It’s hard to breath and the impact’s already knocked the wind out of me. “This is what you wanted right—you couldn’t say it in front of them…” There’s thick liquor on her breath as she speaks. 

Her hand tries to worm its way in between my thigh and the glass. She presses her fingers against me, wadding my dress up against my crotch. I squeeze my legs together. “Stop!” I scream. 

“Aw, you like it rough, Princess!” 

“Not…from…you…” My hands brace against the door and I try to push off of the glass. I can feel the blood thundering through my veins with each rapid beat of my heart. My body is engulfed in heat. Please, just stop. Everything goes white for a moment and something pops in the back of my head. 

* * *

* * *

My body tenses against the cold ground. Something thick and warm clings to my face and I can’t see. There’s a hollow pain in my muscles my whole body over, like I’ve done some crazy workout that I know couldn’t exist. Why am I blind? What’s on my face?

I roll to the side, my elbow digging into the ground. Nearby someone coughs. My fingers rake at my face, trying to clear whatever this is on me and I can feel my eyes being freed from their prison, responding to my attempts to open them. 

“You crazy bitch…what did you do to me?” Captain Syrup’s words are sputtered out as if she’s in pain. I can see the murky outline of her struggling to get onto her feet. She kicks and flails. Something is wrong, she’s unable to get her footing. A few blinks clear my eyes and I see why. Her leg is gone from the ankle down, blood pooling on the ground below what’s left of her foot. “Wh-what are you?” 

I glance at my reflection in the nearby shards of glass and there’s dark spots under my eyes where I haven’t cleared the gunk from my face. It runs down over my cheeks, crusting into a craggy dark mass and fans out around my eyes in huge raccoon like patches. It’s blood. Blood from my eyes. 

Hurriedly I rub my face, fighting to get the rest of it off. My heart races and I my breathing goes erratic. That’s how this started. Syrup tried to hurt me…tried to rape me and…what did I do? What happened to her leg?

“I’ll kill you!” Syrup spits. 

My head is still clear enough for a reply. “You’ll do know such thing because you’re afraid and you crave legitimacy.” I’m over her shit. I’m over sympathy for people who keep trying to hurt me. “It looks like that dynasty ending injury came a little early—you need me.” I get to my feet, stumbling with my hand pressed to the wall for support. 

“You’re not human…just some human shaped thing. You’re a monster.” 

Whatever is happening to me I don’t understand it, but it saved me this time. It made me feared. Maybe it will be enough for me to save my people and restore balance to this world. 

“Peach!” Mario yells from somewhere nearby. “Princess, where are you?” 

“I’m here!” My side hurts as I yell and I clutch at it, trying to put pressure on the pain. 

He and Rosalina make their way over to where I am, he goes to help Syrup, but she shrugs him off. “Don’t touch me!” 

“What happened to her?” Asks Rosalina. 

“I’m not one hundred percent sure,” I tell them. “She showed us where the warp is—there’s no need to stay here anymore. General Syrup will deliver my ships. Her…condition pretty much assures that.” 

Mario and Rosalina are reluctant to leave her on the ground when I step away, but they slowly follow. Syrup yells after them. “You can’t trust her! She’s not what she says she is! You didn’t see it!” Her eyes are wide with fright. Syrup looks terrified, but I’m the only one even bothering to look. 


	10. Wedding Prep

There’s a hydraulic whir and my ship lurches forward a few centimeters, but it’s enough to feel it. A substantial amount of cargo is being loaded today and this next tour of bounties may over extend my capabilities, but if the trial goes cold before I can get a bead on any of them there’s the risk I’ll never find them again.

The specifications of my modified _Hunter_ class fighter, the _Elba,_ are unlike anything else that’s passed through the automated plants of _Aliehs III_. Normally the risk of going this long between service checks was too dangerous, but the _Elba’s_ proven his worth.

Below I hear the lift click into place before the cargo door slides shut. A man in an orange coverall with dark hair steps out from under the ship waving his arms side to side in the air above his head to get my attention. A light on my ship’s console chirps and I reach down to flick a silver switch to disable it. 

“SUDO, open a channel, sound only.” My hands move through the rows of buttons as my eyes scan consoles making sure everything is ready for departure. 

“ _Affirmative,_ ” SUDO, the ship’s onboard AI says with his crisp voice. “Incoming call…” 

“Lieutenant Aran, you’re clear for departure…” comes to voice of the ground crew operations manager. 

“Not a lieutenants anymore.” I reach up and grasp the dual stemmed lever and tug down on it, pulling it to the side to lock it and releasing the docking clamps. “Everything is Bristol on my end…”

“Roger. Maintain the provided vector. Depart through box sixteen.” 

“Roger that, control.” My HUD displays a trail of arrows leading off through the huge opening in the hull of _Satoru Station_. Beyond the walls of hardened metal bolstered by deflector shields is the blackness of space. This seemingly infinite stretch of the uncharted side of the galaxy is a hotbed for lawlessness. Once I leave here it will be a long while before I see another friendly face. 

“SUDO, lock in the suggested vector. And disable the G-Diffusion system—we’re not going to be doing any acrobatics out here; it’s just a drain on power.”

“ _Proposal: the G-Diffusion system should be left in tact until we clear the station’s gravitational pull, at the programmed vector I estimate nine Gs on escape velocity from…”_

I interrupt SUDO. “…I was behind the controls of a ship when you were being melted down from scrap picked up on K-2L, now take us to impulse.” 

SUDO’s voice stutters for a second. “ _Yes, ma’am._ ”

We’re off into the black of space and the force of takeoff pulls me back into the dampening material inside of my power suit. The force of leaving a station of this size would usually be too much, but in the suit things are easier to take. The _Elba_ rolls to the side setting off for uncharted space. Up and down, left and right; they mean little out here where the only sense of direction is that which your perspective gives you. 

Out of my seat now, I step into the charging dock for my suit with my back against the wall of the cylindrical container. As the suit port in the lower spin of the suit is connected there’s a slight pop. Suddenly the HUD is gone and my breathing is echoing and apparent. Servos click and buzz as the suit opens to release me, depressurizing slowly as to give me a chance to acclimate to the inside of the _Elba_.

My hair is drenched in sweat and the zero suit clings to me feeling suddenly damp. The atmospheric controls inside of the Varia suit are on the fritz again. Looks like SUDO is going to have to flash the BIOS again and rebuild the software from scratch. 

“ _Incoming transmission being routed through Satoru Station. Peculiar. The subspace ID doesn't seem to make any sense._ ” SUDO says. 

“Are there any identifying markers in the signal?” 

“ _Negative. The encryption suggests top secret level specifications, but this doesn’t match any known Federation key sets. It is however tailored to you._ ” 

A smile appears on my face. “Sounds like the kind of job could pay well. Open a channel.” 

There’s no audio or video, just the sounds of static. Then something appears on my screen, a rectangular white field with text on it that I can barely make out due to the resolution of the screen being much too high. In the bottom corner there are a pair of wine glasses with stems crossed and flowers fill the other corners. 

“SUDO, what is it?” I ask.

“ _It appears to be a save-the-date. It indicates that Mario and Princess Peach Toadstool are to be wed in approximately one hundred and seventy three hours._ ” SUDO explains.

“Well, cancel our trip. We’ll have to pick up the trail after it’s gone cold. Plot a course for the coordinates indicated on the invitation to the best of your ability…” 

“ _Right away ma’am._ ”

Being a bounty hunter on the edge of the black does bring you a lot, but what it doesn’t bring you is friends. These are some of the few people I can count among them.

This just became top priority. 

* * *

* * *

This old foot stool in the study isn’t meant for standing, but I do my best to keep the wobbling to a minimum. Balancing is made harder by the fact that I’m pinching my hair up into tight ball to keep it from falling down in the way of the work being done. 

Three winged Koopas flutter their wings, holding position on alternating sides of my body: one holding the measuring tape that encloses around the fullest part of my bust, one with tape around the thinnest part of my waist, and a third at the widest part of my hips. A fourth Koopa, a blue shell with little glasses perched atop her snout flaps up close to my face examining my eyes as if he expects to find something past them. He hooks his short fingers on the inside of my bra’s cup, tugging at it slightly. “While we are at it, we’ll have to measure these individually—you’re gaining weight,” he says matter-of-a-factly. 

On instinct, I jerk slightly at the touch, probably more so than I would have before someone tried to assault me a week ago. The blue shelled, lead Koopa tut-tuts me until I freeze in place for his helpers to continue their measurements. Did I mention that I’m in my underwear and though we’re in the Mayoral mansion of New Donk, our new temporary residence, that it’s pretty drafty.

“A fuller bust, wider hips, waist about the same—hmm this will make for some very interesting choices.” The blue shell, Piers, notes. “We’re going to want to avoid the trendy new pastels. I know that may be hard for you to hear given your affinity for pink, but a traditionalist look will be best.” 

Piers came highly recommended by Hariet as a stylist and tailor who could work on our allotted time scale. A bit of a super Koopa when it came to this stuff, I was becoming a believer. 

Something crunches behind my back, out of sight. “Damn,” Daisy says through a mouthful of whatever it is she’s eating. “You’ve been hiding a bit of a new addition back here. Have you been doing squats?” She steps into view eating these spicy hot Cheetos-things that Mario and Luigi brought from the other world for her. Her fingers are stained a bright red-orange. 

“N-no, Daisy, get from back there. Let them work!” I shout. 

Crunch. “I’m the maid of honor. I’m inspecting your prospects…”

“I think you mean assets…”

She points at me with a smile of affirmation. “That’s even better, let’s go with that. You should look into a dress that shows off a bit of this…you. Something that makes you look bolder.”

“Boldness is best left for weddings that aren’t huge royal affairs.” Piers cuts in. 

“I don’t one hundred percent agree. I’d like something with a low bust and that isn’t belled out like my usual dress.”

Daisy dusts her hands on the chest of her shirt after throwing another Cheeto into her mouth. “Mmhm, sweetheart neckline so it plunges down and you can see the top of the, um, boob meat. But give it straps because we don’t want the girls popping out—and for the traditionalist thing make the skirt extra fancy…like huge tiered ruffles of overlapping fabric in a mermaid cut…” Daisy says all of this through a full mouth and pushes more chips in after.

Piers shoots Daisy a side eye and then looks me over. “Those are all rather good ideas. It would appear the your friend is not a simple as she seems…” 

“Asshole.” Daisy manages through a full mouth. 

The blue shelled koopa began to scribble something on a small pad that he carried which I, at first, figured to be notes. But due to the length of time he was at it and the long, elegant strokes of the pencil I realized he was drawing something. “You may drop the measuring tapes now, that’ll be enough.”

His assistants loosened up on the pieces of tape the held until they dropped to a heap on the floor. Piers holds the pad up so that I can see the drawing. The dress is cut at the top so that it shapes to my bust and dips in the middle. It’s form fitting all the way down the sides until it rolls off the thighs into a wider skirt at the bottom. The most interesting part of the drawing is the skirt, the fabric of it moves back and forth in wide, ruffly tiers starting at the hip and going down to the ground. 

“It’s amazing.” 

“It will be more so when you see it in person. The corset at the top will leave little to the imagination, but there will be a hint of a traditionalist sense to the cut and shape of the dress. Would you like to go forward with this?” Asks Piers.

“I think it’s perfect. Yes. There’s a lot more I need to decide on, like the bridesmaid’s dresses.” 

Daisy pipes up. “I had an idea for that. There’s a dress down here I think would work.” She licks her fingers clean, much to the dismay of the tailor before pulling one of the dresses out of the long row of options he’s brought with them. My dress isn’t among them from the look of it, but the dress that Daisy holds now is very her…it’s covered in orange flowers with a modest neckline an spaghetti straps. From the waist down it bells out like an open flower, stopping just above the knee. 

“I think it’s safe to let you pick,” I tell her. My mind wanders to thoughts of me in the dress I imagine to be the one Piers will have for me. I’ll be in that dress the first time I kiss Mario as his wife and the last dress he sees me in as a single woman. 

It’s the only comforting thing about the next several days. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter because I feel like this is a good stopping point for this and because I didn't want to take several days to deliver another larger chapter. Going past this point felt unnatural. The cameo in this chapter is meant to be a surprise, thus it's not listed in the characters in the story description.


	11. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peach meets with a plethora of her guests. Including her new mother-in-law.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There has been a slight change in the narrative that I need to address here. A lot of characters from other games, particularly those who appear in the Smash Bros series, will appear here as cameos. Most of them are recognizable enough that anyone familiar with games would know them, some of them are less so. None of them play a vital role that depends on the reader knowing their universe well and this story will not be turning into a crossover where these characters stick around.

**Royal Spotlight - the Wedding of the Century**

By Gaz Templetink, edited by Cindy Fink

In lieu of the upcoming royal nuptials between the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom and her long time friend Mario we’ve put together a comprehensive who’s who of the royal families left in the world. The story of groom, Mario, is a bit of a rags to riches affair with him going from a nobody repair man in his home world of Brooklyn to the main squeeze of one of the most sought after bachelorettes in all of the world. 

Fret not if you’re thinking of winning a royal lady’s heart, because Peach isn’t the last of the eligible would-be-monarchs without a ring on their finger. If you’re in the vicinity of the wedding and you happen to run into one of these available royals maybe you could try your luck?

**Princess Daisy Monteblanc** \- the first of her name and obsessed with flowers (probably due to being around them her entire life). She is the next in line to rule Sarasaland. Daisy is boisterous, outgoing, and competitive. She and Princess Peach have been best friends since before they could remember and because of such their kingdoms are extremely close. It’s rumored that she might have a secret beau…

**Princess Gretchen Whelan** \- future ruler of the kingdom of Rodarch. Of the major Princesses, she is the only one from a non-human race, being that Rodarch is a country of demons. Most of her interest lies in technology and it’s probably the key to wowing this Infernal Vixen!

**Prince Mallow** \- a former ally of Mario and Peach during the incident with Smithy, Mallow is the Prince of the kingdom of Nimbus. Mallow’s people tend to stay rather isolated from the rest of the world. It would be hard for someone to integrate into such a closed off society, but Mallow is a bona fide hero and the view from his room is nothing short of amazing. 

**Princess Lissette Metzger** \- the younger sister of Queen Antoinette, the ruler of the Metro Kingdom, Lissette is technically the next in line for the throne, but will more than likely never actually be Queen. She tends to be more interested in social politics than actually ruling anything. Though she is ambitious in other ways and fiercely competitive. It’s been said that she doesn’t really have a desire to tie herself to one man…or woman.

**Queen Amy Cote III** \- the newly crowned ruler of the kingdom of Abidjan. The only ruler who is an actual Queen of Peach’s edge group. Besides Daisy, she is the princess that Peach was closest too. Her talents lie mostly with music, both singing and playing violin. Of all the royals on this list she is the only one to have ascended to the throne unwed and she is also one of the most introverted. Better bring some talk of literature and music along for this meet cute!

The whole town is buzzing about the wedding of the century. Check back with us here at the _Examiner_ for more information on the going ons in and around this momentous occasion.

* * *

* * *

Posters with Mario and I are plastered all over the walls of New Donk. We’re days out now and we haven’t gotten any official photos taken, so we’re just using the picture that was taken by the New Donk Examiner. Seeing the pictures makes me miss him more. He and Luigi went with Rosalina back to their world in an attempt to get their mother and some friends to bring to the wedding. Explaining all of this could only be going over as well as you’d think that telling someone you’re a big time hero in another world would. 

I prefer not to think about that. The article in the paper mentions me very little and instead goes into detail about the other royals who will be in attendance—the author’s name looks familiar and it takes me a second to place it. The boy from Rose Town who owned the doll that we knew as Geno. Did he grow up to be a writer? 

This isn’t the first time that I have seen my name in print in a major publication, but it was odd to see me referenced as a ruler and someone to be compared to the other royals around the world. Most of us have had little interaction over the years. Daisy and I grew up together and are, for lack of a better term, like sisters at this point. 

The other rulers seem to only congregate when there is a good reason to do so. When my father passed away several years ago they were all in attendance; you can probably guess that I was not in a position to socialize. Most of that time in my life was spent clutched up against Mario or Daisy, but the other rulers are on their way here now and I’m expected to play hostess. 

It’s probably a diplomatic duty that I dislike the most. 

Daisy dives against me from her side of the bench seat in the back of the limousine and throws her arms around my neck. “You’re in your head. What are you thinking about? You have to tell me. Now.”

“How this bridal shower will be the first time I have seen a lot of other royals who I don’t know well…” 

“Aren’t you stoked? I know I am!” Daisy’s eyes went wide. 

“Yeeeeah, we get to see everyone…and this time no one had to die.” I glare at her. 

Daisy smirks. “You know what I mean. And look on the bright side, since you’re getting married first that means you’ve hit the big milestone. You’re, like, head bitch in charge.”

“It will be nice to see Mallow again.” Mallow will be the only male in attendance. As the only child of his family he is forced to be there as a show of good faith and to give me whatever gift it is his family will give me. 

Daisy’s face changes to a frown. “I still can’t believe you guys had this whole adventure and a fucking parade without me.” 

“The parade was more of a spur of the moment thing. We were on this emotional high because we’d just beat Smithy and everyone was just getting along so well…” I try to explain. 

“Yeah, yeah. We call that being a bad friend,” Daisy says sitting back and putting her hand up. 

“You’re going to have time to be mad after you’re done helping with this wedding.” I fold my arms over my chest and lean against the my side of the car. 

The car made its way through the streets, working toward the _Lacy Metzger Aerodrome_. Most airship traffic was designated to pass through there, though royal ships would be landing at the private area. It was a surprise that there had been any RSVPs to this event. Everything was such short notice. This whole plan was short notice. 

As the limo made its way through the gate of the Aerodrome a trio of airships ripped past overhead creating a whooshing sound that rocked the car. We drove until we were out in the center of an open landing area. There were planes that landed here too, but the bulk of the traffic was airship because it was much easier to land them in confined spaces. It was even safer for security too since the different diplomats could be unloaded without there being interference if the ship could land behind cover. 

That’s just where we were headed. A large building that stretched up higher than anything in the area served as the landing pad. It was hollow at its center allowing airships to drop down into it and be unloaded privately. 

“Just think about this. After we’re done with your posh _bridal shower_ ,” Daisy flicks her wrist down pretentiously at the word ‘bridal shower’, “Then we’ll be able to get on with your bachelorette party!” 

My shoulders slump and I feel my whole body melt back into my seat. “You know I don’t want one of those things, Daisy. I just-I don’t feel like I’m losing out on anything by getting married.” 

“They’re tradition. Aren’t you the one always going on about bloody tradition and what it all means to you and the like. Wouldn’t it be important for you to, you know, adhere to traditions you fucking conservative spoil sport.” Daisy says with a devilish smile. 

“Hey, let’s not talk like that…” my words hang in my throat and I nearly bound over Daisy to make sure I am seeing what I think I am out the driver’s side rear window. “Driver, stop the car!” There’s no question from the driver as we screech to a halt on the concrete landing surface. There’s no mistaking what I am seeing because it is like anything in the Mushroom Kingdom—it’s something that I do not believe anyone on this planet could make such a vehicle. “It’s the Elba. Samus is here.” 

I clamber across Daisy’s lap, opening the door as I go and flop out onto the ground. My hands break my fall and there doesn’t seem to be any blood, so I am off sprinting across toward the ship in the distance. 

“What are you doing? You look like a lunatic!” Daisy shouts after me. 

Maybe I don’t have the vertical leap of Luigi or even Mario, but I manage to jump onto the side of the ship, landing just in a divot where one huge gold mound curves around to meet another. My hands slide against the metal of the hull as I try to catch myself. The ship is so hot to the touch, the way the Odyssey was after re-entering the atmosphere. It’s almost enough to burn me. 

When I am on my feet there is a mechanical noise and a sound like something cranking open. Steam blasts from a hole in the top of the ship, spilling out and around the top of the golden colored metal. A figure emerges from the ship, lifted up until her statuesque form is half shrouded in mist. Though it is not the figure I expected, or rather, not in the form I expected. 

Samus Aran, intergalactic bounty hunter, stands looking down at me dressed in a purple dress with a white pristinely wrapped gift held to her chest. Her dirty blonde hair is pulled back into a long braid that dangles down over her right shoulder. 

Her ship, the dome shaped _Elba_ , is a golden color with ridges running down either side of the crown. A greenish-yellow window in the front kind of gives it the appearance of a helmet. Purple rings of energy surge through the bottom, presumably keeping the whole thing from falling to the ground when not powered on. 

There’s a soft click as Smaus lands, her legs pulling way up into the dress to soften her impact. She rises to her full height, easily dwarfing me and taller than I remember—heels. I’m not sure how she jumps like that in heels or if they’re necessary for a woman of her stature.

Daisy catches up to me, holding her arm around her waist as she tries to get her breathing in check. “I’m wearing…a corset…could you not run?” 

Samus holds out the wrapped box her hands trembling a little. “This is for you and Mario. Don’t open it until the day of…” her voice is her standard monotone. Samus outside of the bulky suit and not armed to the teeth, Samus the wedding guest, lacks the overwhelming confidence that is all I have ever seen of her. 

“Thank you.” I accept the box only to find that it’s heavier than it looked. “Daisy, this is Samus Aran, the bounty—“

Daisy snaps her fingers. “Oh yeah, space lady that shoots the mean jellyfishes. Luigi told me about her. It’s nice to finally meet—goodness you are just sturdy, huh?” Daisy grabs Samus’s arm, feeling at the lower bicep and forearm.

Samus turns her gaze toward Daisy, seemingly more confused than upset or worried about what’s happening. “Are you the Princess’s friend or a relative or…”

Daisy strolls toward me. “Oh no, she’s my secret lover. Mario is going to have to steal her away from me.” And then, as if this is a thing we do, she grabs me, leans around the huge gift box and kisses me dead on my lips. Her lips are light and forceful and far too soft. How is anything this soft.

Samus looks on without a word. I can practically see the red glow coming from my face. My heart is in overdrive, pounding frantically as I try to get over what Daisy has done. Why did she do that? 

“We knew you two were close, but this seems like a bit much,” Princess Lissette says. She is with the other royals, my little menagerie of young would-be rulers, who have arrived all at once. 

Lissette is a short woman and younger than me. She blonde with honey colored eyes and an overly sweet tone. In reality she’s thrived on gossip and information brokering since she could talk. We haven’t spent much time together in recent years. In fact, she’s never met Mario. 

I close the gap and hug her, her dress lacks sleeves or poofy shoulder pads, so her bare arms wrap around me and she’s damp from sweat or something else. I can’t hug her back while clutching Samus’s gift.

“It’s good to see you.” 

“It’s good to see you too, Peach. What, don’t I get a kiss?” 

No one else laughs. 

Amy steps up to receive me as Lissette backs away. She is the only Queen of our age group, so before she can hug me I pivot my feet an spread my dress to the sides as best I can with the box under one arm.

“Seriously, girl, cut that out.” Her voice is melodic and the little laugh that follows sounds like a thick, brassy bell. Her skin is dark and perfectly even toned and her black hair is braided into dozens of thin strips and wrapped on the top of her head in a bun. Her crown is completely absent. 

Amy hugs me and I get a glimpse of Mallow over her shoulder. “Mallow, is that you?” Not sure how I didn’t see him. Mallow is a Nimbian—they have clouds for heads. The last time I saw him he was at my waist. Normally he doesn’t attend royal functions, but he made a special acceptation for me. Though I do not recognize this Mallow. He’s my height now with a thinner, sharper look to him. His hair is slick back and to one side, with a little dark curl right up front. He’s grown a small goatee too. 

“Toadstool, it’s good to see you again!” He steps closer, his smile growing. His voice is so deep now. 

“Please it’s Peach or Princess…” I correct him. “And look at you, you must have to fight all of those Nimbian ladies off with a stick.”

“Or a strong fan…” Daisy mutters.

“Okay, so introductions time, right?” Princess Gretchen is the last of the royals and the tallest, she approaches Samus levels of height. Her hair is thick, loopy red curls that cascade down her shoulders and back, covering the top half of her body almost completely. The most obvious feature to draw attention to her, besides the hair and the piercing eyes is the ram-like horns that adorn the sides of her head. Gretch is at least part demon, much of her country of Rodarch is. 

“Sorry,” I say turning so that I am half facing Samus. “This is Samus Aran…a friend of mine from far away. You all know Daisy and each other…Samus, this is Gretchen, Mallow, Amy, and Lissette.” I point to each of them in turn and they step forward to greet Samus.

“Things are kind of moving fast,” says Amy. “A few days ago I had heard you were attacked.” 

Daisy glances at me, unsure of what I am going to say to quell her concern. “I was.” The immediate reaction of the group is to freeze. 

“You were attacked? By Bowser?” Lissette asks. 

I shake my head. “I was attacked by...” My words stop and I freeze for long enough to consider the purpose of all of this and who these people represent. “It’s not important. There’s a wedding to prepare for, right?” 

Daisy steps in, speaking with a booming voice. “Peach is right, we’ve got dresses to fit you into and then there’s a rehearsal dinner tomorrow with an awesome party planned for tomorrow night.” Daisy sways back and forth as she shakes her hips with her hands clasped together under her neck. “We’ve got a limo. Come on, keep up.” She motions for us all to follow her as she walks off. 

* * *

* * *

Stress baking. I know I do it, but it serves a purpose this time. The number of guests actually showing up is…a bit much. I slide a fresh tray of cookies into the oven, slamming it shut with my foot. Two cakes sit on the counter waiting for me to do some icing and let them rest. Then there’s the pies. So many pies: apple, cherry, pumpkin…

One of the pie pans burns my thumb before I yank it away and stick it in my mouth. “Ow.”

Daisy slips in and shuts the door behind herself. “Still trying to bake the city hall kitchens out of ingredients.” 

“What are you doing in here?” I begin to shout, but drop my voice to a whisper. 

“Your soon to be mother-in-law is out there and I think Mario missed a detail about her.” 

“Which is?” I ask.

“She’s extremely fucking hot. Like unnaturally. You’re going to need a mop in here if I keep thinking about it…” 

“Ew.” I shake my head. “I mean, I know I’ve seen pictures of her, but they were older pictures and…” 

Daisy pulls me by the arm, cutting my words off and leads me to the door where she opens it a hair. A woman stands between Mario and Luigi wearing a red dress that’s form fitting with a lacy pattern running down the arms. She has black straight hair that’s pleasantly styled and though you can see she’s older, Daisy is right. She’s very pretty. She also looks very mad.

“Have you spoken to her?” I ask. 

“Oh, I have. She isn’t as concerned with me—she said so herself. Luigi usually makes the better choices…” 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I glance up toward her to say. When I look out the door again I see a huge, muscular redheaded man in fancy leather armor eating a wheel of cheese off of his spear tip…one of my whole, expensive, wheels of cheese. His eyes are flicking between his snack and Fox McCloud. “You need to get back out there.” 

“Relax, things are fine.” Daisy says.

“Belmont is eyeing Fox like he’s ready to pounce, he probably thinks he’s a werewolf or something.” I draw my face back from the door. “Oh goodness. There aren’t any vampires on the guest list, are there?” I say throwing my hands up over my face. 

“Do you know any vampires?” Daisy asks.

“Kurokyura, but I’m pretty sure Mario set him on fire…and Wario was a vampire once.” I rattle these things off so fast I lose track of my thoughts. 

“I know you didn’t invite Wario, so unless Ashley or Mona are vampires…” Daisy sighs. “You need to get out there and meet your mother-in-law. I’ll look after your stupid cakes.” 

Daisy hand catches me in the upper back and she manages to wedge me into the crack made by the door, pushing me until I’m exposed and there’s no turning back. Spending time near that oven and in the hot kitchen didn’t do wanders for my hair and I’m peppered with sweat due to nerves and the heat. 

The room is crowded and I feel a little bit like I’m choking or something. There’s too many people in the immediate area. Lord Marth and his younger sister (whose name I forget) pass close to me, she’s shorter than me and brushes against my side to get around the corner of one table. 

Mario spots me and begins to motion for me to come over to him and Luigi. Goodness, I wish Daisy had at least stayed with me—it’s not like I’m the only one who is seeing someone from this family. 

The rehearsed Peach comes out before I think that Mario’s mother has even seen me. I glide through the crowd with a prim, posh little smile on my face as I reach the brothers and their mom. 

“Princess, did you run into Daisy?” Luigi asks. 

“She came into the kitchen to find me…I was just baking.” Mario’s mother stares at me, her eyes watching me without any sign of what she’s actually thinking about me or anything to do with me. “Miss Basilone,” I offer out my hand. “I’m Peach Toadstool.” 

“Oh, you are just the most darling thing. I can’t believe my stupido son didn’t introduce you.” She swats Mario in the arm and it’s hard for me not to chuckle as he grabs his arm and whines. 

“It’s fine. There is a lot going on here that is just difficult for us to parse out,” I explain. 

“There’s a lot of strange bambinos around here. There’s a child running around dressed like a pink ball with fins.” Miss Basilone says. 

“Mah, that’s Kirby he’s—well I’m not sure what the Hell he is.” Luigi explains getting really close to her ear. 

Miss Basilone searches the room, I’m not sure what Mario and Luigi have explained to her about this place. They would have had to bring her here with Rosalina…who is technically her grand daughter and also flies ninety percent of the time. She draws me toward a table with her and Mario, leaving Luigi standing in the middle of the floor. “Let’s let the boys handle things for a minute, I need to talk to you.” 

Mario eyes me the same way that he does when Bowser kidnaps me and zooms off, but he stalks away from the table wordlessly. She clutches my hand in her own, rubbing the back of my palm. “I-I’m sorry that we had to meet this way.” 

“Mario explained as much as he could over the years. He told me about this other world. Christ, we wanted to send him off to the loony bin. Then his brother came in saying the same thing. Said they had met these beautiful girls over here who were honest to God _principesse._ And I though, shit, who am I to argue with that?” 

A small giggle escapes me. “Miss Basilone…” 

“You can cut that out right now. It’s ma or mom or mama Basilone if you’re trying to be formal…” She produces a small lipstick container from somewhere and begins to apply it while speaking through mostly motionless lips. 

“Mom,” I start over. “I really love Mario. He’s—“ the words won’t come or they don’t make sense to me. There’s a jumble of things floating through my head. Do I pretend to be the stoic princess, or do I just be me. Either has draw backs and things to be gained. “He’s—just the bee’s knees.” A dopey smile stretches over my face, looks like I made my choice.

“You’re not the kind of girl I pictured him bringing home, but he’s smitten with you and you’ve taken to him. That’s for sure,” she says. 

What felt like a lifetime ago Luigi and Mario told me about their mother who had a mouth on her and really liked to lay into people. They described a woman who was fiercely protective of her children and who wanted them to have what she wanted for them or what she deemed right. Now it felt like she had their interests in mind. 

And she was handling having been on a space ship with someone from the future only a bit ago well. 

“I wish we had met earlier.” My apology is sincere, I really want to talk to her more. “I just need to rush off and grab something from the oven. I’ve been baking all day and I need to make sure of it gets into the hands of our guests…Mom.” 

She nods. “I understand, you run along. We’ll have time to catch up a little later on.” He hugs me tight, kissing me on the cheek as I pray that my heart isn’t betraying me. A bout of lightheadedness is coming on and I just need to get out of this situation. 

As I rush for the kitchen doors I can smell the cookies. The crowd around me is mostly white noise and I raise my voice to holler to the only person who should be in the kitchen. “Daisy! Dase—I need…” the door opens for me to find Daisy’s mother and father flanking her as she stands between them munching down one of the cherry pies with a fork.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I ask, fighting to keep my arms down at my sides. 

“You baked enough for an army and I was hungry and this is your fault! You left me to guard food!” Daisy yells aiming her utensil at me. 

I sigh and walk toward King and Queen Monteblanc. King Steffon Monteblanc is a mountain of a man with massive arms. I’ve seen younger pictures of him and he looked like the kind of dashing, blue-eyed rogue I’d have dreamed about as a young girl. Okay, so I had a crush on my best friend’s dad. He’s aged into a rugged, woodsman sort of look. His blonde beard is a ash color and shaved to close perfection around his sharp chin. His eyes hold the same luster that they always have, but his skin around them is fraught with wrinkles and his skin is faded, pale color instead of the healthy pink it used to be. 

Daisy’s mother, Queen Aster Monteblanc, is a remnant of House Unwin. When the heir to the throne of Sarasaland was killed at the hands of another family their remaining young man was taken as a ward and married to the Monteblanc daughter to ‘keep the blood strong’. Aster’s hair is straight and a deep maroon color; her skin is liked burnished bronze.

I dip into a small curtsy, dropping my head until my chin almost touches my chest. “Your Grace and King-Father.” 

Daisy speaks through a full mouth. “Don’t bow to them!” 

“Princess Toadstool has always been the most polite and well mannered girl. I would have figured some of it would have rubbed off on you, Daisy.” Queen Monteblanc says.” 

“You know me. I’m resilient.” Daisy is eating faster now, trying to finish this pie before I physically stop her. 

“Where is that delicious little boyfriend of yours, Daisy?” Asks Queen Monteblanc. 

“I’m pretty sure that he’s trying to keep the other royals entertained. He’s worried about how they’ll interact with the rougher elements.” I say as I peek out the door of the kitchen to see Marth of House Lowell lifting Pauline and Lissette with their arms clinging to his bicep as he pumps his arm up and down with the women dangling off. 

Daisy puts the pie plate down and wipes her mouth on a nearby towel. “I’m sure you scared him off, mother, like you do everything I love…” 

“You’re not getting anymore pie,” I say stamping my foot down. 

“Why not?” 

“Because it’s my party. Kirby’s out there and three different Yoshis. There won’t be enough for everyone if you just dump it all down your gullet.” I have to keep myself from screaming. 

“Maybe if you ate like this you’d have something Mario could grab onto,” Daisy says giving me a side eye as she dips her finger into some icing and licks it. “I’ve got an ass you could bounce a blue coin off of.” 

“Language, Daisy!” Queen Monteblanc pinches Daisy’s ear, hard, dragging her head down until it’s almost parallel with the floor. 

Daisy makes no sound, but mouths: ‘ow, ow, ow,’ over and over until she’s released. 

A basket off to the side of all the food remains untouched. We picked up some little things for people to blow bubbles at the store earlier, it was a suggestion that Mario had. Not sure sure why someone would be doing that at a dinner party…

Anything that can get me out of this situation fast works. “Can you all serve some of the desserts to the guests. I’m going to go passed these out,” I say scooping up the basket on my arm. 

I make my way from table to table passing out the little bubble solution things and having to explain exactly why I am doing this repeatedly. “They’re for you to blow bubbles…they’re bubbles, you blow them—it’s just for fun…it’s bubble solution…” 

Samus takes one of the tubes and holds it up to examine it. “Bubbles? Bubbles of what?” She presses a pair of fingers to her temple causing a field of green to appear over her eyes, like the visor of her power suit’s helmet. There’s a small sound as she scans the container. “Hmm, plastic encasing water, sodium lauryl sulfate, sodium laurethsulfate, dimethyl amine oxide, SD alcohol, sodium chloride, copolymer, cyclohexanediamine, phenoxyethanol, magnesium chloride, methylisothiazolinone, fragrance, yellow coloring, blue coloring, corn starch, baking powder….and glycerin…”

For a moment I am frozen while she rattles all of that off. “Yeah, I said bubbles…you know like you blow them. Are you wearing your suit somehow?” I ask. 

“I’m always wearing my power suit, or I can be in just an instant…” Samus says. 

I push the bubbles into her hand. “Just take the bubbles.” She does and I can’t take being out here anymore. There seem to be even more people than before. Some of them I didn’t know even had been invited. So many people are here just to see Mario and I. They’re here to see the evolution of us and to see me become Queen. 

I carry the remaining bubble tubes with me into a small incropping that cuts into the wall near the exit. Chairs and tables are usually stored in the darkened area, but somehow it feels like the right place to get out of limelight. My chest is heaving when I stop and my dress is soaked in sweat. I press my bent wrist into my mouth to cut off the sound. Just need to be quiet. 

“Everything okay?” Mario steps into opening, blocking the light. 

“Yeah. I just—goodness, I’m an idiot. I’m just, I just can’t stop being dramatic, huh?”

Mario steps into the darkness with me, pressing his face close to mine and kissing my cheeks and then neck. “We’ve got a lot going on. Everything is going to change, but it’ll be for the best. You’ll see. We’ll get your kingdom back and we’ll, well…you know, make it.” 

“You’re nervous too?” I ask. 

“Shit, yeah, Princess. But you know what I keep telling myself? In a few days I’ll be married to the love of my life and we get to do _whatever we want._ ” He whispers the last part and his breath brush my hair against my ear. That little tingle reverberates through my whole body and then he’s gone. Luigi is calling his name somewhere across the room. 

Okay, so this is a bad idea. There isn’t much time, but the room is loud and I just need to take the edge off. Just a few seconds…

A large folding table is standing up on end further into the crevice I’m standing in. The air is hot as I move back further, squeezing between the table and the wall, my hands steadying me against the wall. No one will look in here, not for at least five or ten more minutes. 

I squat down using the table as cover and propping my back against the wall for support. My dress is short enough that it’s easily circumvented and my underwear are just, well they’re a small barrier at best. This is wrong. Half of the royals in the world are out there. My best friend and her parents, my future mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and dozens of people from other worlds and kingdoms gathered here for our special day.

The bubble container is cylindrical and rounded at the ends; I push it into my mouth, sucking it clean before guiding it up under my skirt and to my desired destination. I move it against the folds of skin, tracing a line along the lips of the opening, doing this solely from memory and sensation. My unused thumb and index finger go into my mouth as I bite down on them to stifle the sounds I know I will make soon. 

Images of Mario play through my mind. His mustache on my skin, the places he puts his hands and his lips. I wonder what it will be like? I wonder if the rumors I have heard about wedding nights will apply to me? Will he be disappointed? Will I? What if it hurts too much? Goodness, the thought of him down there just feels…

Suffice to say, I don’t last long. A shivering pulse resonates through me as I yelp. The sound is negligible and I mange to bring it back under control before I think anyone would notice it. I take a few deep breaths and hide the bubble container under the waistband of my underwear. No need to leave a mess for anyone else. 


	12. Bachelorette Night

A doctor dressed in magenta scrubs with a long lab coat that ends around her ankles steps back from the patients bed. This is the long term ward of New Donk Memorial; this is where people with no family and little chance of waking up end up when they’re airship crashes. 

Jacob Singer, aged twenty-four is the man in question. He rented a ship to get out of work at his banking job and only wanted to be gone for a week. That was six months ago. He was on a breathing machine and non-responsive now. Brain dead was the word. 

No one was home. 

The doctor checked some of the machines in the room as the hospital had been experiencing power fluctuations, strange read-outs from once trustworthy instruments, and just crazy occurrences to name a few of the happenings. It was unclear what was happening, but there was a real risk of the people in this ward being overlooked due to their lack of interaction with the outside world. 

She shut the door, finding everything to be normal for now and the light cut out seconds later due to the lack of motion. 

An orb of something dropped through the ceiling, sparkling brilliantly and brightening the whole corner of the room where it was present. Beneath where the orb moved tiny glittering droplets rained down from it. At first, it just hovered over the large cabinet meant for family to place belongings in, but then it bounded up doing a small arc and coming to a stop over the top of the metal coat hanger apparatus that held various liquids that dripped into Jacob. 

The ball surveyed other parts of the room, emitting a metallic twinkle sound as it moved. It came to a stop above Jacob’s face, providing enough light for it to be visible in the darkness. Jacob did not react though. 

Jacob was dark skinned with a pristine beard that the nurses and doctors tried to keep the way he liked it, out of respect. His hair is curly and trimmed short—though there was no one home, or so they said, he was well cared for. He was loved in a way. 

The ball of light makes a tight circle in the air. This is the one. This is the vessel that it has been searching for. The small sparkle rears up into the air and slams down into Jacob’s chest as if it needed the speed. The initial impact causes his limbs to spring up and his body to start to convulse. First the machines in the room chirp and beep uncontrollably, then the lights start to flicker.

It’s approaching midnight and the source of the problem is hard to locate because of the sporadic instrument failure, but when the doctor returns to Jacob Singer’s room he is gone leaving behind a host of disconnected IVs and a bed with a well worn divot at its center. 

The window stands open, a light breeze billowing through the room. It’s a twenty story drop to the street, but when the doctor looks outside into the rain and wind there is no body, no sign of a crowd to watch the morbid show. 

Jacob is gone. 

* * *

* * *

Shaving, makeup, styling hair—I do these things for myself. A team of stylists is the kind of privilege I can afford, but have never seen the need for. My life is complicated, it’s not so overly so that I need women to shave my legs for me. 

Lissette, Amy, and Gretchen bonded over these experiences though; despite being a little kooky, Daisy knew the others well enough to know that we needed to include that for their sake. Not because we had to appease them, but it was just that if any of them returned to their respective kingdoms talking about how horrible their time was she’d take her royal jet there and fight them herself. 

The small salon that Daisy picked for the day’s festivities was an upscale sort of establishment on a rooftop of a six story building. They serve wine and have all manner of little snacks—there’s a whole spa style thing going on. 

It might even be relaxing if one of the guests wasn’t my new mother-in-law. Daisy, in an attempt to try and make things a little easier on me put herself between me and mom as a buffer. 

Lissette is to the side of me getting a pedicure, she holds a thin stemmed wine glass in her hand, but it’s mostly empty. “I thought that I knew all of the best places in the city…” she says. “It would seem that Daisy found something new and exciting.” 

I laugh. “It may not seem like it, but Daisy is quite the party planner. She’s got a real eye for details that most people don’t think of before hand.” It’s hard to keep from looking at my mother-in-law; she’s sitting across from me holding a bottle of wine in one hand and talking to Queen Amy in the most personable way. I see where Mario gets all of it from—he can practically get along with anyone if they give him a chance. 

Rosalina and Samus had been asked to come, but neither of them felt comfortable in this kind of environment. I wish they had come—I could have pressed the point, but I didn’t want to be rude. I’m still not sure how to react to the idea of having a daughter that was almost my own age. I’m even less sure how I can continue to hide her parentage from her own father. 

“Seems like a few days ago they were telling me you were dead—“ Lissette says. “King Koopa was running around trying to rally support for I-don’t-know-what. Then I get word you showed up here like nothing happened.” 

“My home was taken. It’s a lot different than ‘nothing happened’,” I explain. 

“Yes, but have you tried going back there to see what has happened to the people and to your palace. If this darkness can truly snuff our the safeguards you have so easily, why do any of us stand a chance? Why hasn’t it come for you here?”

I don’t have an answer for her. There’s something odd about the way that things have progressed for sure. We’re all just going about the preparations for the wedding like this is a normal thing. My people are taken from me, possibly enslaved and hardly anyone seems to care or be worried—even me. 

Trying to consider the worse of what was going on at this very moment was hard. When I would think about the Toad Town and my castle and the people who resided there something would pull me away from all of it. Concentrating on it now, I could see it was an active thing. Something in my mind telling me to “look over here” instead of what I should be paying attention to. 

Lissette’s honey colored eyes flicked up and down my person. “The cover story that’s been floated by someone our there is that you’re wanting to be come a full fledged Queen so that you can command an army in war, but there’s no amendment stopping you from defending yourself. You want War Powers, don’t you? You want to call upon an international force that you command to crush this enemy?” 

I’ve been careful who I divulge my true intentions to. The special privilege I seek to use is ancient. The original doctrine that came of it had the first Queen Toadstool being seen as a Supreme Leader of a large military force that encompassed several Kingdoms and nations. While the power has been technically available to anyone who bares the name Toadstool and is Queen, it hasn’t been enacted in centuries. The stories about Lissette knowing everything are still true. 

“What is it you want?” I ask. That’s how it’s always been with her, she doesn’t play her hand until there’s something to be gained from it.

“Actual standing. Real power. Hmm, a title that doesn’t come from the value what’s between my legs and being pawned off to some elderly duke halfway across the world to bare his tainted spawn…” Lissette leans closer to me now, her eyes narrowing. 

“My sister sits on the throne,” she adds. “There’s little chance that I will ever be more than a bargaining chip in Metropolis Kingdom—the mayor of this city holds more sway than me. Appoint me special counsel and give me holdings inside your borders.” 

“As Princess you have holdings here—in one of the richest kingdoms on the planet.”

Lissette makes a disgusted face at me. “This kingdom is mostly city. Any holdings I would be given would only be granted through marriage and even then I would be a glorified landlord to my own subjects. We don’t have space for large plots of land to be given out to any royal that the monarchy spits out.” 

“You’re asking me to take a risk. Your family could see my meddling in your placement as an attempt to spy on them or worse,” I sigh. “It leaves me in a very vulnerable position.” 

A devious smile spreads across Lissette’s lips. “If you think that I’m not aware of that let me go ahead and cut the rope for you with a juicy bit of gossip that I heard: the council and several of the kingdoms know what you’re up to and know that they don’t have veto power. They’re planning to annul your marriage.” 

I spring up from my chair, forgetting my place and that someone is working on massaging my feet. The water they’ve been using to soak sloshes onto the floor. “What are you talking about? They—they can’t.” Everyone is looking at me and I stare back in return, trying to silently tell them that this is both serious and they should not worry. 

Lissette pulls me down into my chair. “They can because you weren’t going to have proof you’re married. The rules say that there need to be witnesses to a royal consummation. Both families, if possible, important members of the community, and so on. Most of our parents shrugged that off, but if no one sees you it’s grounds for an annulment.” 

Both families? The rules on bedding ceremonies were scant in my brain at best. I don’t think anyone has done one in the past fifty years or more. Now I was being forced to fall back on tradition, at least from what Lissette says. But that’s just the thing—Lissette could be trying to force my hand to some other end. 

“I hope you don’t think me to be the same Princess Peach whom you tricked and called ‘brace-face’ all through her younger years. I won’t blindly believe the words of someone whom I barely call a friend.” 

Lissette giggles with delight and I can tell it’s not sarcastic. “Darling, I wouldn’t trust me as far as I can piss standing up. You’d be a fool to think me someone you could believe given the stakes.” 

“And yet you think I want you working under me?” 

“No. You need me. Daisy has a lot of bite, but one day she’ll marry _Mister L_ over there and she’ll have her own country to run and little ones to scamper after. You need a social enforcer, an information broker, and a spin doctor. You were born on an undeniable mountain of soft power; I have paid for mine with blood, sweat, and some bodily fluids best not named in pleasant company.” 

I hold a hand up. “Okay, first of all: ew. Second: I still can’t trust you.” 

Lissette is done next to me, has been for sometime now, but she finally rises and bends down to speak into my ear. “If I’m right then the challenge will come quick, because the wheels are already in motion. If you don’t have a marriage license by tomorrow then start picking your side of invitees for your bedding ceremony. If I’m lying you can always claim it was a symbolic gesture, but watch how many dignitaries take interest suddenly. Ask royals you can trust if they’ve been approached about the opposition—and I don’t just mean your flower loving friend over there.” 

Lissette doesn’t leave time for my reply and walks off to the other side of the room to join Gretchen at the small bar near the doors. My eyes fall on Mario’s mother. I might have to let her watch the first time Mario and I…

The thought sends shivers down my spine. 

Daisy’s hand on my shoulder scares me. “What was that tense conversation you two had going on?” She asks. 

I sigh. “Political drama actually. It would be boring to you.” 

“Lissette is one hundred percent drama. I mean, I know I’m a bitch, but I’m more fun and bitchy than I am utterly evil and bitchy,” Daisy says. 

“There’s certainly a place for her in the world and she knows it.” 

Daisy shrugs. “I kind of wish we had brought Rosalina instead. I know we hardly know her, but she’s got a much better vibe. You two have gotten close over the last few days. Do I suspect someone is working on a little _ménage à trois_ action for a wedding gift?” 

I stare at her. “I don’t know—I don’t know what that weird language is you’re speaking…” 

“Ménage à trois. Emphasis on the trots!” She hits the last word of the phrase harder. It means threesome. Like three people having sex in any combination of interconnecting parts that floats your boat. Goodness, how do you not know these things. Don’t you and Mario ever watch movies?” 

Instinctively I roll my eyes and mutter. “Not the kind on the internet that start with an ad for rubber penis toys and only have a ten minute runtime…” 

“Ouch. Okay. I’m confused, because that actually kind of stung, but I’m also very proud of you.” Daisy kisses my lips too quick for me to push her away, My hand absently catches her in the face. “Oh stop, I’m just too shocked to know what to do.” 

“It’s complicated. Rosalina is just…yeah no.” 

“I suspect that you’re trying to hide from me Peach Toadstool. You forget how well I know the real you. I’m not saying you’re a lesbian, but you’ve never had an issue admitting that another woman was gorgeous.” 

“Ugh, please stop. Just, please Daisy.”

“What’s going on with you? What is it about her?” 

I take a quick glance around to see if anyone is nearby. “She’s my damn daughter,” I cut myself off, being sure to apologize for my swearing. “Excuse me. She is my daughter and Mario’s from a distant future or alternate world. I don’t really get it.” I sneer, keeping my voice low. 

Daisy laughs. “You’re fucking with me. Oh shit, you’re not. How-how can she be here very grown up? How did her butt get so…you know? Has anyone checked out Momma Basilone’s butt yet or do you think it was lu—“ 

“Can you not?” I demand. 

“Sorry.” 

“I don’t know how it happened though. You can’t tell anyone, especially not Mario. Don’t even let Rosalina know.” 

Daisy reaches up with her pinky extended toward me. She lets her hand hang there in that pose for a moment as she glares at me. “Come on, get it up there, bitch.” 

I link my finger with hers and she looks me in the eyes, her tan face reddening slightly at the prospect of what we were doing. “I, Princess Daisy Monteblanc, pinky promise to keep the secret of Rosalina’s parentage,” she whispers those two words. “If I break this promise may a chain chomp rip out my neck or some shit…” 

“That’s not how it used to go, but I appreciate the gesture.” A smile spreads across my face and our hands shake together as we both burst into laughter. Daisy is the first to withdraw her hand. I find myself fanning at my eyes to keep the tears from rolling down. 

“Don’t,” Daisy chides me. “You’re going to make your eyes all puffy and we’ve got some partying to do.” 

* * *

* * *

So, I know that I was strictly against there being any activity at a strip club. I had planned to do my own thing and let Daisy and the others have their fun, but as it turns out it might be to my benefit to be out acting like someone who is actually getting married in every traditional since. 

_The Cock Pit_ is just what the name says: a themed exotic dancing establishment staffed by men wearing bomber jackets, rustic scarves, and tight underwear that leave little to the imagination. Apparently this place is one of Daisy’s favorites. For obvious reasons we left Miss Basilone at the penthouse. 

“Carlos!” Daisy shouts to a man stack of purple coins held in a satchel at his side. “Carlos! Long time no see!” 

He comes closer to us and just like the other times this has happened tonight this whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I’ve never been in this kind of place and I’ve only seen one penis in person. It’s just _hanging there_ behind a thin elastic layer of clothing. 

Carlos smiles, his white teeth catching the luminous effect of the backlights. He certainly is unreasonably pretty to look at. His hair is dark and slicked to the side and he has eyes that, in the dim light, appear to be green. “You gals need anything?” He asks in a husky baritone before shooting a wink my way. 

Daisy insists I wear a sash she made that’s white with silver wording down its length reading: BRIDE in huge letters. “Um yes, you’re going to need to give this lady over here a dance!” Daisy yells pointing at Samus. 

Samus is dressed in a yellow sparkly dress, who knew she owned one dress, let alone two. She shakes her head vigorously before Lissette and Gretchen rib her on and she agrees. She’s right between me and the other award situation at the table, Rosalina. 

Rosalina has her hair pulled up in a bun and she sits looking like she might scream if someone touches her. Any attempt to ask if she’s okay result in her claiming to be just fine. She won’t walk outside with me or agree to get rest. 

Carlos mounts Samus, his body grinding against hers as she sits stunned at the whole ordeal. It continues for some time and I have to look away. “I’m going to get a drink…”

“You’re the bride. You shouldn’t be doing any work!” Daisy says. 

“It’s fine, I’ll be right back.” I slide out of my seat and make my way to the far side of the room where there’s a bar being tended by a mushroom person. I didn’t notice them at first, but as I get closer the dome shape of the head behind bar moving back and forth becomes apparent. 

They look up at me, dark eyes searching my face with a vague recollection of my features. My hair being up and the dress I wear don’t really lend themselves to the image of Princess Peach most of my subjects know. The only thing I currently wear I have on now is the large blue earrings that belonged to my mother. 

The toad looks at me and snaps his fingers. “Princess Peach?” 

My confidence in my altered appearance seems to have been a little premature. “Wow, I didn’t think that anyone would notice…”

“You’re my ruler. Or were. I’d never forget your face even if I never saw you in person.” They explain. 

“How long have you been outside of the country?” I ask. 

“Left about a decade back. Married a Snift and the two of us moved here. Congratulations on the nuptials, by the way.” 

I step between the bar and a stool, sliding to sit in front of him. “That’s a nice story. I don’t know how you did all of the wedding planning and work—it’s so nerve wrecking.” 

“She really took care of all that,” the toad says. “I kind of just showed up and said my thing. You know how it is.” 

“Yeah. I wish I could make things that simple for Mario and I.” 

“What are you having? It’s on the house—consider it an early wedding gift.” 

“I don’t really think I should be drinking…” 

“You have to,” says the Toad. “It’s tradition.” The Toad pours a long necked bottle of liquid into a shot glass. The label on the bottle looks to be in another language, perhaps a dialect of Sarasalian, though the script is hard to recognize and not really in use in most places anymore. “It’s a pretty smooth tasting shot, but it’s strong.”

I take it all in one swig, throwing my head back expecting it to burn as it goes down my throat. It doesn’t, it just feels abnormally cold. “Oh. That’s not so bad.” 

The Toad smiles. “Why would I give you something bad?” 

My eyes fall on my glass and I am thinking about home again. “Have you heard from anyone in the Kingdom in the last few weeks? Any family or friends?” 

There’s a lull in our conversation and I glance toward my party: Princess Zelda has arrived. She’s from a distant land and I only know her by reputation, but one of the dancers is shaking his butt very near her face and she seems very upset over it.

“Toad Town and the area immediately around the castle have been evacuated. The rest of the country has pitched in to help and look after those that left, but other than that it seems to be more or less normal.” 

The area surrounding the castle encompasses thousands. “I wish there was a faster way to deal with all of this.” 

The Toad touches my arm. “Your people are in high spirits. They know you’ll come back to them.” 

Someone latches onto me from behind as the music starts to thunder loader. “Oh no you don’t!” Came a loud voice followed by a giggle. I turn to see Gretchen wiggling awkwardly from the affect of her drink. “Daisy said to tell me to tell you that you’re not participating with us. You can’t leave her until you get one dance!” Gretchen holds up a single finger, though the act of doing so seems to weaken her resolve to hold herself up. 

“I’m not letting some strange man dance on me days before my wedding.”

“Why not?” Gretchen demands sounding more like a child. 

“Not to shame what anyone else likes, but it doesn’t interest me. It just makes me miss my Mario.” 

Gretchen slaps twenty coin piece on the counter and drags me away. “That’s it, you’re going to the Pilot’s Lounge!” She’s got a good grip on my arm and being she is substantially stronger than me. Instead of breaking a heel trying to fight her, I fall into step behind her. 

The Pilot’s Lounge is actually several smaller private party rooms. I didn’t know Daisy had reserved one of these things. When we step up to the two it’s flanked by two muscular men meant to be guarding the door. Daisy and Lissette are passing out penis shaped straws when we enter. Lissette shoves one in Zelda’s face. 

“Have a gander at that, another pair testicles.” Zelda says her face twisting into a mask of disgust as she accepts the straw. 

Rosalina holds hers up to the light examining the subtle details that really shouldn’t be on a straw. “That what they look like?” 

As I pass by I snatch the straw out of her hand and toss it to the floor. “Let’s go ahead and put a stop to that, shall we?” 

The room is a dizzying set up, the three walls without the door are mirrors. Plush, red leather seats line the perimeter of the room and that’s where my party sits. 

Daisy lets out a loud woo. We’re too old for woos. I’m all woo’d out. “The lady of the hour is here. Soon to be Queen Peach Toadstool!” 

Lissette gives me a knowing look as she takes a sip from a glass. 

“Okay, cheer if you want to see Peach take the pilot’s tour of the cockpit?” Daisy asks. Our whole group screamed until it hurt my ears. She produces a pink blindfold with my house crest embroidered on the outside and steps in close to pull it right around my eyes. All I can see is smushed fabric. “How many fingers am I holding up?” Daisy’s voice seems to come from far too close to my face. 

“You realize I could just lie, right?” I ask. There’s a small, blunt thud on my head. She just thumped me.

“Didn’t see it coming, good.” 

Someone maneuvers me into a plush seat, seemingly at the back center of the room. I’m pushed to sit down and small hands adjust my placement so I’m where I’m needed. 

The noise from the others dies out as bass heavy music thunders around me. My chest cavity is practically rattling it’s so loud. I turn my head, trying to pick up any sound that might clue me in on which direction this person is coming from. 

There’s stifled cries of shock as someone enters the room. I try to follow where I think they might be. Queen Amy, who is nearer to me from what I can hear gasps. “I can’t believe it.” 

The music drags into this deep trumpet solo and I feel pressure on the cushion immediately to the right of my leg. “My friends think this is what I want,” I explain. “It is a nice gesture and I care for them deeply, but this is just not for me…” 

All of the women in attendance let out a woo, though I hear a flutter of steps as someone leaves the room. The dancer pauses and I hear a chorus of chattering before he takes my hand in his chin with a rough grip. A little moan almost escapes, but bite down on my tongue and hold my mouth closed. 

His hand clamps down on my shoulder, firm fingers steadying him as he moves against me. His body is pressed against mine now, his repetitive, smooth motion of dragging himself over me does feel exciting, but Daisy has gone too far. 

My hand goes up to push him away, grazing the skin of his bare chest. What I can only imagine is the fur of his bomber jack laps at the back of my hand as he moves rhythmically. He grabs my hand pulling it away to a unanimous cheer from my so called. 

“By order of the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom stop these antics right now!” I shout twisting against his grip.

The blindfold is tugged up, catching briefly at the tip of my nose and then popping off to rest on my forehead. I’m left staring into Mario’s large blue eyes. His breath fans my face and only then is it apparent how hot my cheeks are burning. 

“This isn’t funny.” I say in a small voice that is drowned out by the music. “This isn’t.” He’s wearing the outfit most of the dancers are: bomber jacket, tight little underwear, a pilot’s hat seems optional. He has one.

Mario says nothing as he closes in on my face with his. He denies me the kiss at the last second. There’s a tight pain of anticipation at my core waiting for him to rethink his choice, but he does the worst possible thing. With his hand poised on my cheek and his thumb at my lips, he pushes me into the mirrored wall so that my neck is tilted back. 

His fingers are like brands on my skin, searing through me until the rawest parts of me show. He nuzzles the front of neck and exposed upper chest with his nose, lips and mustache. I fight the urge to give into this here. I know romance novels aren’t truth; can you have an orgasm from this kind of thing. 

If he causes me to have an orgasm in front of my friends and a group of royal dignitaries in this strip club, Mario won’t make it to the altar alive. 

I scan the room around me. Rosalina has gone. She probably left when this whole thing started. My brief distraction is ended when Mario pulls my face to his and kisses me. A valve has been opened somewhere inside of me and the pressure is vented off marked by the guttural sound I made into his mouth. A warm, numbing, relaxation floods my body. 

He whispers: “I love you” into my ear and I melt. 

Everyone is hollering and at first I think it’s about the two of us. Daisy steps into view, shaking her head. “Oh no! No! Mario, you motherfucker!” She clambers back onto the red cushioned leather of the seats.

Luigi stands in the doorway with black Domino mask strapped to his face. He wears a black cowboy hat, boots with spurs, and has a sheriff’s star attached via what I hope is just tape over his right nipple. This costume is totally off theme for the place, but I don’t think it matters. 

He advances on Daisy and hoists her up onto his shoulder, giving her butt a little slap as she struggles and kicks against him. She does nothing but laugh. 

“I heard a report that this little lady’s been bad,” Luigi hollers in a voice deeper than his own. What the Hell is this character? 

“You assholes are going to pay for this!” Daisy screams as Luigi twirls in circles with her slung over his shoulder. 

With Mario present I can relax. The rest of the night is mostly a blur, because this is where the drinking starts. I spend the next hour or so curled up in my Mario’s lap. This feels right. I didn’t need to take a night to celebrate the end of my adventurous life and the changing of stages into this. Being with Mario isn’t the death of fun and happiness for me.

More bottles with stronger liquor seem to just appear. Daisy seems to be some kind of alcohol fairy. Though it could be due to the presence of both the mayor of the city and the princess of the kingdom. Yeah, Pauline showed up later, just in time for her and Daisy to coax Lissette and Gretchen into doing shots off of each other. 

Daisy explains the process to Samus next. “You hold the lime in your mouth…no open your mouth dummy,” Daisy is wobbly on her feet. Even she can only drink so much. “Okay, then the salt!” Daisy lifts a salt shaker into the air as if she just found the one hundred-twentieth star and applies a generous amount to the exposed skin above Samus’s bust-line. 

She turns to Luigi with a shot in her hand. “Now, I drink,” she taps him in the chest with her glass. “Then you.” Luigi grabs a shot and downs it. His mask is now crooked. “Then salt and lime.” Daisy buries her face in the flesh above Samus’s breasts causing the bounty hunter to giggle before their mouths touch and Daisy takes the lime from Samus’s. 

Without missing a beat, Daisy pushes the lime wedge into Luigi’s mouth, kissing him passionately around it. 

“You want to try that?” Mario asks over Pauline’s out of control laughter. 

I shake my head. “I don’t think I can do it. It looks like fun, but I’m not that brave.” 

Mario reaches up to adjust Luigi’s cowboy hat on my head. When did that get there. “I think you’re braver than you know. What about Zelda? Show her how it’s done.” 

“Pretty sure Zelda is, like, seventeen. It’s questionable whether or not she should even be in here.”

“Wow.” 

“You know I am bad one on one with people I don’t know. You’ve known this.” 

“Okay Peaches, you’re up!” Daisy cries. 

Oh no.

“Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you,” Daisy adds as she dumps salt onto her thumb. 

“No, do your worst.” 

Daisy stares me in the eyes. “My worse? Okay.” She plucks a fresh shot glass off the small stand in the center of the room and wedges it between her breasts tapping it with her nails to secure it. “You’re lucky these big motherfuckers will hold it in place. If I was Lissette we’d have to send a search party in there after it…” 

“Fuck you too, Daisy.” Lissette yells through stifled laughter. 

At first Daisy tries to steady her pouring to keep it off of her dress, but Luigi has to help her, the two of them managing to finish the job. Daisy sprinkles salt on the nape of her neck and puts a new lime in her mouth. “Kay,” she manages around it.

There’s no time to think about going back. I clamber out of Mario’s lap, practically tackling Daisy. She’s shorter than me and I have to stoop to get the cup to my lips, her breasts press in around my nose and mouth and the astringent burn of the liquor hits my tongue. It shouldn’t feel like anything, Daisy’s always waving her boobs in my face, but there’s something overly exciting about it. 

The salt is more awkward, I lick it from her neck as she giggles. “That tickles,” she shrieks, her words muffled slightly by the lime. 

And finally Daisy and I kiss with her passing the lime into my mouth. There’s a triumphant shout from everyone in the room as I turn back and press the piece of fruit into Mario’s mouth, locking lips with him and crawling onto his lap again.

This group, the royals and our friends, may never be in the same place again after this wedding. Hell, our world could change drastically. It’s hard pin to pin down where it comes from, but there are these moments, usually ones you didn’t expect to feel anything about, that become large tentpoles in your life. They’re the memories you always go back to when you need that extra push. 

Not sure why, but I could see this being that for me. Over the coming months I may need to remember what I’m fighting for and what happiness looks like. 

* * *

* * *

Rosalina wanders the street, visibly upset, though not about what her mother expects. She hasn’t trekked more than a couple of blocks from the building where the _Cock Pit_ is located, but she needs to get this out and not be seen. She needs to remember what’s at stake. 

How do you tell someone their worst days are ahead of them? How do you tell someone that they’re headed for life altering ruin that no combination of events can stave off?

She’s a cosmic being, at least she thinks she counts as that now. Sometimes she feels immensely powerful and can move a blackhole or slow the explosion of a supernova so that she can watch the raw energy ripple through the galaxy. 

Other things are obdurate; regardless of her actions they are unchanged or intervention makes them worse. Rosalina has learned to look for the markers of these things. She can mostly predict them now, though, on a cosmic scale she is still very young. She is still very stupid. Every time this has happened the urge to warn them or fix this has come up and yet hundreds of times now it’s led to her repeating this same series of events. 

“Miss! Excuse me, Miss!” A husky voice calls after Rosalina. She picks up the pace, not in the mood to be hit on or even asked directions. 

“Miss…oh wait, you’re like her? Maybe you can tell me where she is?”

She ignores the man still.

“Wait, you’re something different too. You’re of her type, but you don’t belong to this reality. You’re a remnant.” Okay, that made her stop. “I apologize for the intrusion. I just need information.”

Rosalina freezes, turning back to face the man. He’s tall and slicked with rain. His curly black hair and beard glimmer with water, but he seems unbothered by the weather. His face is awkwardly vacant and there’s something not at all human about his pose and expression. “Who are you? Answer me like your life depends on it.” Taking a defensive posture, Rosalina levitates into the air, her party dress shimmering out of existence to become her regular long, swoop teal one and her wand appearing in her hand. 

“My name is Geno from the Star Road. A Princess Toadstool made a wish that I could be at her wedding and I’m here to see it through.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "obdurate" quote is kind of a take on something said a few times in the Stephen King novel 11/22/63. Definitely take a look at it, it's a pretty amazing book.


	13. Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day is finally here.

Things are moving too fast. I’m already in my dress putting on the final flourishes to make the whole thing complete. Mario’s mother had some advice about good luck on a wedding day. Don’t let the groom see you and follow this old adage of having something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. 

The earrings I wear are blue and I borrowed them from my mother before she died, never actually got the chance to give them back. I’m not sure if one thing can count twice. Daisy lends me the flower shaped jewel from her crown to wear. The pendant I wear around my neck, the one where the rings had been stored is very old. Almost every Toadstool Queen had it in her portrait. I’m not sure when we first got it or from where. My dress is the ‘something new’. 

It was only delivered that morning with the alterations that Daisy and I went over with the tailor only days ago. To tell the truth I had began to wander if it would be completed in time. Actually touching it, holding the fabric in my hands and seeing it in person feels like a miracle. 

Daisy stands with her hands on her hips glaring at me. “I know you look beautiful, but if you stare at yourself in the mirror like this we’re never going to get anything done.”

“Sorry. I was thinking about something Lissette said.” 

“It’s lucky you’re thinking at all—I’ve still got a killer headache. I’m never drinking like that again.” 

“You always say that.” 

The door to the room we’re using to get ready cracks open a hair and a pair of white rabbit ears poke through. “Ladies, are we decent?” 

“We’re dressed. I’m still a horrible fucking person,” Daisy says.

Hariet pushes into the door wearing a long, purple ball gown with her hair styled up in curls. She smiles quaintly at me and folds her arms. “I’ve tried my best to stay out of your way while planning what I could with you. It’s been a bit of an honor to work on this all for you. A wedding like this is the kind of thing that could really put me on the map—I thank you from the bottom of my heart.” 

“You’re welcome. You’re the first person I thought of for all of this.” 

Hariet freezes up, her hands falling into her lap as she stands there. “That’s the thing though and I have to ask you this…did you know about Bowser and I?” 

“Huh?” She actually catches me off guard. 

“I had a thing with Bowser and I thought that he was going to…shove me off. But he’s asked me if I’d like to move in with him—it seems a bit too fast, but he’s actually considering me as something more than passing fancy. I just figured you said something to him.” Hariet says. 

“I didn’t. Other than asking him to find you.” 

“Wait, she’s seen Bowser’s dick? Is it like a regular turtle dick? Do turtles have dicks?” 

I glare at Daisy. “I promise that I didn’t tell him to go after you, but I can imagine that the finality of this wedding might have made him rethink he and I.” 

Hariet sighs. “What do you think the two of you are?”

“Allies. We all have to be allies to get through this. Bowser has done some awful stuff to me, he basically destroyed the universe that time, or remixed it. I’m not sure. Most of the time the worst of what he does is an accident, but I can’t trust him so easily.” 

Hariet nods. “I understand.”

“Is Bowser out there right now?” I ask.

“He’s waiting with the rest of the guests.” 

“Bring him back here, please.” 

Hariet scurries away, closing the door behind herself. Daisy gives me a strange look. “What do you think you’re doing?” Daisy asks. “Oh wait, I know. You’ve got cold feet so you’re going to get yourself kidnapped on your wedding day. Classic.” 

“No. I’m building a bridge.” 

Daisy fans herself. “Well, I hope you know what you’re doing. I think I am going to have to get something to drink, only way to assure that this headache doesn’t ruin things is to get comfortably sloshed.” 

“Don’t get trashed before my wedding.” 

“I can control myself.” 

“I’ve got a teeth marks on my tit that say you can’t because someone bit me last night!” 

Daisy shakes her head. “I don’t remember that. You probably mixed me up with someone else. There were a lot of us there and you were pretty drunk.” 

Hariet comes through the door and Bowser stomps into view behind her, his large form filling the doorframe. Bowser is dressed in a suit, similar to the one from the last time that he kidnapped me, but this time it’s black. His head is hung and he looks vaguely like he expects me to kick him out or shout at him. 

“Bowser, thanks for coming.” I say. 

“Hariet said you wanted to see me.” 

I cross the room, passing Daisy and stopping in front of Bowser. “Yeah. I have a favor to ask you.” 

“I understand if you don’t want me here,” he says immediately. 

“I wanted to ask if you could walk me down the aisle. My father is dead, my mother too. There’s not many people in my life that it makes sense to have do something like this for me. We’re close…in a way. I’ve spent a lot of time at your castle, you’ve known me since I was young and horrible. Honestly, you know me better than most people.” 

Bowser stares at me. “Are you serious?” 

“Yes.” 

He looks off toward the door where Hariet is still waiting and then he looks back to me and sighs. “Of course I’ll do it, but there’s something that I have to tell you…” 

“Okay…” 

“There’s a movement in the World Parliament to block your ascension to the throne by annulling your wedding. They plan to claim it’s a ploy and say that you and Mario never consummated it.” Bowser says. 

“Thank you, but a little birdie already warned me about that.” So that was true, Lissette could be a valuable asset after all. 

“What are you planning to do about it?” He asks. 

Daisy folds her arms. “You never told me about this.” 

“I wasn’t sure if it was true until now.” 

“We could have had my mother and father look into it.” Daisy says. 

“Your parents love me. Any conspiracy to do me harm of any kind would exclude them by default, but Bowser would be just the kind of person they’d target for this. Though it still seems sloppy, Now that I know I can counter it.” 

“But how?” Asks Bowser. 

I shrug. “I’ll haver to convince Mario to go through with a bedding ceremony in the next twelve hours or so.” 

Bowser shakes his head. “This seems unfair to the plumber, you’re going to sprung this on him out of nowhere.” 

“I will let him know as soon as I can, but I am going to show the parliament that I’m not some child they can play idle games with. I’m tired of everyone thinking they can.”

“Peach! Princess! Are you back there?” Mario’s voice is somewhere in the hall. 

“Don’t come in here, it’s bad luck!” I press my body to the side of the door, hiding against the wall. “What do you need?” 

Mario’s arm snaked around the wall through the doorway. “It’s almost time. I—I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m lovely. Are you okay?” 

“I’m a little weird about being the center of attention.” 

Then he’s going to love this. “Mario, there’s something I need to tell you and I know you’re going to be upset. If this changes anything for you—well, I can’t force you into this life.” 

“What is it?” His voice seems to break a little. 

“Some of the other kingdoms want to oust me as Queen before I start. If I can’t get married I can’t get them to help us in the war, so they’re planning to annul this marriage on the basis of us not having consummated anything.” I explain. 

“We haven’t even said our vows yet.” 

“They want this over now,” Daisy says. “The moment that the ‘I-dos’ are said Peach is Queen. They have to act fast.” 

Mario mutters to himself and then asks. “What do we do?” 

I reach for his white gloved hand, placing mine on top of it. “A bedding ceremony. In the past they were seen as the norm for any noble families. Of course, when people started to be more individual and with the romanticism of sex and marriage it’s fallen out of favor. My mother and her mother both rejected the idea. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who accepted it these days.”

Bowser speaks. “The members of parliament see Peach as a spoiled child of a great dynasty, the same way they saw me as a tyrant and monster. They won’t be expecting her to push back.”

The sound of Bowser’s voice seems to catch Mario off guard, but he speaks soon after that. “How many people do we need to have as witnesses?” 

“If we push this issue they’re going to try and humiliate me. That’s the play, right? So I would say Luigi and your mother have to be there. Also Daisy…”

“Oh, I’ll be there taking notes…” Daisy says. 

“Bowser and Hariet…make sure that she doesn’t sneak any paper in. It’s optional whether or not you’ll need to be there.” I say. 

Hariet grabs my veil. “There’s a ton of this material at the tailor. We can get it and cover the sides of the bed so that you can’t see in easily. We light it from the top with a low, yellow light so only silhouettes are visible. Just because we’re being forced to do something doesn’t mean we have to be sloppy.” 

“I knew there was a reason I hired you. Daisy, go get Lissette. Tell her she’s got a deal.” 

Bowser shakes his head, placing a clawed hand over his brow. “Are we trusting Lissette now?”

“Not at all, we’re trusting that she will do anything for power.” 

* * *

* * *

The short notice we had to work with made it hard to pick something really wild. It ended up being that the best venue was just outside at the edge of the street next to city hall. A wide, red carpet had been rolled out leading from the large square outside city hall to the end of the street. 

Our actual nuptials were to take place on the white airship Bowser had used previously. It was parted with the side of the ship pressed against where the concrete ended and the altar and everything was set up there. Two smaller ships loaded with pyrotechnics and fireworks hovered on either side of that one. 

The streets were lined with bright neon signs and pictures made of light that were barely visible right now. But when nightfall happened and the ball was in full swing the whole street would be illuminated in reds, and pinks, and blues—Mario and I would be everywhere. 

Form inside of my own private airship, up high I can see all of this. Mario waits for me down on the side of the altar as an original score composed by Toadofsky reverberates through the streets. My airship dips and bobs with the subtle turbulence from the air over the city. 

A small object, that’s narrow and dark whips up into the air, zipping past and halting next to the ship I stand on the deck of. Ashley, the witch, and Mona, two of Wario's employees, wave at me from the back of a broom. “It’s go time? Is it go time?” Shouts Mona over the airship engines. 

I give her a thumbs up and she and Ashley dive toward the street below, pulling up at the last moment to make a pass down the center of the aisle. With a flick of Mona’s hand the tail end of her broom begins to leave a steady stream of flowers in it’s wake. 

We begin our descent toward the ground, my airship is supposed to land in the intersection where the red carpet begins. The ship shudders as it sets down, shaking slightly for the ramp to fold out onto the red carpet. There’s a fair bit of showmanship built into the vessel. It vents steam out of the sides after landing and is painted white and pink, you know, because it belongs to me. But the white parts blend into the mist so it’s almost like you’re stepping out of a cloud. 

My first steps off of the ship are met with thundering applause. The streets are filled with people from all over the world. Balloons, confetti, ribbon—there’s a shower of colors as far through the city as I can see. 

As we practiced, I open my parasol and offer out my arm…

Bowser locks his elbow with mine, glancing down at me with a smile plastered on his face. A tear streams from his good eye and I reach up, as high onto his arm as I can and rub him, trying to sooth what ever it is he’s feeling. 

“I’m honestly scared.” 

“This is the hard part. You meant for this to be a fix for your problems and to be about being with the man you love. Anything that fixes a problem creates new ones,” Bowser says his voice breaking. “The important thing is you’re not facing those problems alone. We’re in this together—all of us.” 

“Yeah?” 

He glances down at me. “Are you ready?” 

I nod up at him and he leads me off down the aisle toward Mario. Life won’t be perfect from here on out and there’s still a lot of work to do, there’s an announcement to make after this ceremony about this impromptu bedding ceremony and later there is war prep to make, but I think the net positive of today will outweigh everything else. 

There's a lot of bad going on right now, but I’m absolutely giddy to marry the man of my dreams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lines spoken by Bowser about going forward at the very end there are a homage to the last episode of the Adventure Zone Balance arc where a similar situation took place.


	14. Something Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion of the wedding and the reveal of Ruin.

Everyone is here. 

Daisy’s father performs the nuptials with her mother by his side while Mario and I stand waiting for our final moments as two separate people to come to an end. A hush falls over the audience that seems to pull tighter and tighter like a tension wire the longer it lasts. 

“It is with great pleasure that I say this on behalf of the world Parliament and on be half of someone who has watched you two grow as a couple: I now pronounce you King and Queen, you may kiss.” 

Mario lifts my veil and the air is cool against the wet trail running from my eyes down my cheeks. All of my fears and anxiety about this moment has come to a head. When it feels like I could be consumed, like I could burst from everything that’s gathered inside of me we lock lips. It’s different this time. Somehow both exciting and calming.

And I’m okay.

A cheer that erupts from the crowds that pack the city. Luigi and Daisy rush together and let out a cheer. I can hear Kirby clapping and shouting from the front rows. The streets seem to shake with the energy of the raw excitement. The music swells and fills the air. 

We wave to everyone as we turn to face them. Then I glance down at Mario’s face for approval and he nods to me. 

“King Monteblanc, if I may say a few words?” 

He nods to me.

I step in to replace him at the head of the altar. “Cut the music, please.” It comes to an abrupt stop. “I would like to thank you all for sharing in this day of monumental happiness for the both of us. There is an old tradition that we would like to inform you of to take place tonight: for the first time in recent years I would like to share our wedding night with a select few dignitaries and family members through the use of a bedding ceremony.” 

The crowd is dotted with confused glances and murmuring. Being the center of focus this long is taxing on my nerves, but I suppose that I better ready myself for the worst of it. A warm hand clutches mine and squeezes tenderly. Mario. 

When I glance to my side he’s there smiling over at me. This is why we’re married; he supports me in my endeavors. I know he’s not happy with this, the same way that I’m not, but he does what is necessary. 

“More information will be made available to those invited to the ceremony, Thank you for your time.” I relinquish the microphone and go to step down from the podium. My feet go shaky, like my legs can’t quite catch the ground.

It’s not my feet—the very ground is moving. People in the crowd cry out. Some of them go running, scattering in every direction. Mario catches me around the waist, pulling me close as if to shield me. “Get down,” he calls, pulling me to the side. 

Daisy and Luigi clamber down next to us, sheltering against side of the small altar table. The other royals are panicked, their guard come toward us with their weapons raised. Before they could reach the small airship with all of us on it the ground shatters and a black column rockets up from the fissure. 

“The controls! Get the controls!” Mario shouts. 

Bowser is the nearest to us, but he is cut off too. He dives to the side, narrowly missing another shadowy mass shooting up from within the earth. Luigi climbs up onto the controls of the airship and steers us sharply up and away from the calamity.

We’re pulling away from ground when I see Rosalina and a man I don’t recognize running toward us. With a flourish of her wand, she fires herself up into the sky with the man following her. Her gowns flapping in the wind. The darkness seems to be alive as it moves to intercept her. Rosalina moves her wand to block the assault, causing the tendrils of black to recoil.

After several attempts the attacks against her stop and she sails up to the side of the ship with this other person in tow. They land on the deck with a thud, Rosalina losing her usual grace and falling onto her side on the wood of the airship.

“What is this?” Asks Luigi.

Rosalina moved to get on her feet, pressing off against the deck. “This is the Ruin feeling us out. They need to know the Queen’s resolve and probe for weakness.” She points to the ships meant for the pyrotechnics. “Over there, we can use the canons on those ship.” She says to Luigi. 

“Koopa Troop, at the ready!” Bowser bellows below. Koopa Troopas whip up into the air, flying into formation with Bowser directing them to encircle the spots where the ground has shattered. There’s another explosion that sends debris flying into the air, the cloud overtakes the small airship we’re in and everything goes sideways. 

Mario moves cover me with his body, laying with his stomach over my head and shoulders. Rocks crash into the deck around us and pelt our backs. Then I catch a glimpse of Rosalina with her arm outstretched and her wand in hand. A small bubble of protection envelops the ship and it’s enough for us to steer clear of the cloud. 

“What is this?” Lissette asks between coughs. 

The man who accompanied Rosalina answers. “Unclear. I’m sensing an influx of dark magics radiating from within the cloud.” 

“Who are you?” Asks Gretchen. 

“My name is Geno and I serve a higher authority.” 

“Geno! You’re in a different body. Why are you here?” I ask.

“Because a Princess wished to see her friends on her wedding day and that’s what Star Road is about…granting wishes.” 

Daisy is hanging onto Luigi’s shoulders to stabilize where she is standing behind him. “This is touching and all, but can we worry about getting to those canons.” 

Luigi tilts the ship sideways, ascending toward the pyrotechnic ship that’s just outside of the debris cloud. More rocks and dust stream out past us and something within the large cloud lets out a loud screech that reverberates through the city. 

“What the fuck was that?” Asks Daisy. 

Mario glances at me and then looks toward the cloud where the ground would be if we could see it. “Oh no.” 

“It sounds familiar…” I mutter, trying to place the sound. 

A massive purple dragon emerges from the cloud with its leathery wings beating against the air and causing the wind to push out against us. Queen Amy grabs onto the helm control area. “Where did that come from?” She asks. 

The dragon’s scales take on an unnatural luster as it opens it’s mouth. Purple energy starts to amass at the back of its throat and suddenly I remember, _the ruined dragon_. I only saw it in passing as Mario sailed off into the sky with me, but I remember it attacking Mario and downing the Odyssey. 

Mario dives onto the controls, shoving Luigi aside. “If that blast hits us it’s our ass!” The ship turns too slightly and Gretchen almost goes over the side. Daisy and Lissette catch the railing and grab onto her.

The dragon lets out a massive purple energy blast that passes below Gretchen dangling from the ship. “Don’t let me go!” Gretchen cries. 

“Mario! Get us level!” Yells Luigi. 

Gretchen is slowly slipping and I clamber toward them to help. Something jostles the ship and she falls away from the ship, tumbling down toward the purple energy and, if not that, the ground. 

A larger ship passes below us, it’s deck dwarfing ours and catching Gretchen before she fell far. She lands on the deck hard, but manages to sit up right away seeming no worse for wear. Bowser’s Doom Ship. 

For its size, the Doom Ship is hyper maneuverable. It swings to port, almost holding it’s position as it does so and lets out a barrage of thunderous canon fire. Down on the deck I can see Ludwig Koopa with his sister Wendy. They are overseeing a trope of koopas loading canons and readying Bullet Bills. 

The ruined dragon roars, writhing in pain as the volley strikes it. The Doom Ship peppers it, but it only seems to be a distraction and nothing else. In all of this movement Mario manages to lower us down. “Some of you might want to get on the bigger ship.” He tells them. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Daisy says.

I look to Lissette. “You’re going, right? Can you tell the Koopa Kids that we’ll try to back them up from the smaller ships up there?” 

Lissette nods. She and Amy join Gretchen on the deck of the Doom Ship. Mario hands the helm over to Luigi to steer us away, who moves the ship as rapidly as safely possible. “Geno, do you think you can manage an attack on the dragon?” 

“In this form…I don’t know if this body can channel that level of magic,” Geno says. 

Rosalina makes a sucking click against the roof of her mouth with her tongue. “You need a magical focus, like a wand…” Rosalina says holding hers up. 

“Hm, I should try that.” Geno says, his head moving in awkward ticks like he’s some kind of robot. 

The ruined dragon is still being pelted by canon-fire and that seems to be holding it at bay. Then I see a flicker of motion near the top of the dragons neck near the back of it’s skull. There’s a figure perched there with a forked wreath of spikes sticking out from around its face. Whoever the person is, the dragon rider, they move further up the back of the dragon. 

With a jump that seems inhumanely powerful, they launch themselves through the air and through the barrage of canon fire to land on the deck of our small vessel. With the thing standing before us I can see that the creature appears to be human in shape, but it covered in shimmering black armor that seems to radiate with purple light. Its weapon is little more than a jagged crystalline blade held with an armored fist. The darkened eye holes of the mask look to me and then Mario and then…” 

“Luigi, look out.” The thing must want to target the person driving us, hoping to halt our progress. I scramble up, but Daisy knocks me and Rosalina aside, pushing her way to Luigi and going to strike our attacker. 

I feel the crystal as it’s shoved into her, it passes into Daisy’s lower chest and straight out of her back skewering her to the wooden console right next to Luigi. I can’t stand. Can’t look that direction. There’s too much blood. 

“Daisy!” Luigi moves to her side, catching her by the cheek. “Daisy, look at me, look.” 

She’s slumped down against the console. I move toward her, feeling sick. Daisy isn’t moving. Her eyes hang open lifelessly, but she’s breathing—just barely. Her chest rises and falls in ragged motions. “Hang on Daisy. Hang on.” 

Geno steps in, breaking off the hilt of the crystal weapon that’s in Daisy, but leaving the rest in her. He examines the shard and nods approvingly before aiming the shard at the shadowy knight. His next words are in a language that is impossible for a human to speak. A massive beam of blue energy hits the knight in the chest pushing it further and further away. 

“Arrgh!” A vicious scream comes from somewhere nearby. Luigi. Green flames glow in his clenched fists. He dives into Geno’s beam knocking the knight through the air toward the dragon. The two of them are falling, the knight caught off guard by the beam and Luigi pummeling him with bursts of green flame exploding out of every hit. 

Below the dust is clearing and I can see everyone working to fight off smaller dragons: Samus in her super suit with Fox at her back as they fight off a cluster of little beasts, Kirby riding on Simon Belmont’s shoulder and firing debris at any target he spots, Jonathan Jones and Marth are sweeping their way through a cluster of imp like creatures, and Ashley the little witch is casting spells at stragglers and laughing manically. 

But Daisy—my Daisy. Her breathing is worse. I’m not even sure I could heal this. I’m not sure what I could do. 

“Geno, we have to get Luigi.” Mario says. “He’s going to get himself killed—is—is Daisy?” 

“She’s alive,” I say. “She’s strong, she’s—you go help Luigi, please.” 

With a flourish of his wand Geno casts another spell, creating small circular runes in the air leading out to the dragon. They’re gone, rushing toward the knight and Luigi. 

“Mom,” the voice sounds foreign. “Mom—you have to move.” There’s a beat and most of the world around me blends into a white haze. “Peach! Move!” 

I didn’t realize it until now, but I am crying. I can’t stop crying and my own breathing is rough gasps. I am sweaty and drenched in her blood; my best friend is dying in my arms. I can’t muster the energy to stop it. I can’t move her safely. How can I be so powerful if I feel this small? 

There’s another guttural scream and I look off to the side of where we’re hovering to see Luigi with the knight creature pinned against the side of the ruined dragon. He is savagely punching the knight with burning magic fiery fists. 

Luigi is summoning up a strange power—he is wreathed in his rage now and the realization of why has me rooted in place. 

Mario is trying to pull him off, but he shoves his brother back and pulls the second crystal sword from the sheath on the knight’s back and runs him through. He pins the knight to the dragon’s neck and then draws out a third of the crystal blades and launches himself up into the air, bounding off of the the spikes of the dragon’s neck until he reaches its head.

With a massive leap on the crystal sword he drives it down into the dragon’s forehead. The sword is surrounded by the same green flames as it pierced the dragon’s thick hide. The creature came to a halt, it’s body contorting viciously before it began to convulse. The movement bucks Luigi loose, but Mario caught him, dragging him down to the deck of the Doom Ship where the tumbled to a stop

This dragon, who had lived more than a millennium, seized up and toppled to the ground outside of city hall, it’s final ragged breaths were gurgled through the blood filled its mouth. 

A voice rings out through the plaza, a voice with no source. “Everything you touch turns to ruin, Izanami no mikoto? Your enemies, your friends, your family.” The voice is neither discernibly male or female. “We are one in the same.”

“What are you talking about?” I manage. 

“Ruin and creation—you forget who you are Izanami?”

“Show yourself!” Luigi screams from where Mario holds him down to the deck. “Show yourself! Show us!” His rage turns to pained screams as Mario moves to pin him. 

My throat is raw from screaming and the tears and blood stain my dress— _the dress that you picked out, Daisy_. I want to look into the face of this person. I want to watch them suffer for what they’ve done. 

“No need, not just yet. I release you from your obligation to me, my wife…” A hot wind sweeps past I know the voice is gone. _Wife, how could I be this person’s wife?_

Daisy is slipping further away, I cradle her close. I’m trying, trying like Hell to dredge up anything of my magic. Can I tap myself out? Can I run dry? Even if it kills me—I can’t lose her. I can’t. My hands are shaking and the sounds of Luigi’s screams are getting worse. 

What do I do now? How do we pay this back? 

Daisy, I love you. 


	15. Daisies

I’d never been seriously injured—except for my value as a Lady, but to hear them tell it I had given up on that long ago. It’s only appropriate that I think about that now because of my promise—the one I made to myself. 

Castle Monteblanc was always too dark, maybe that says something about me. But for the amount of sun we get in the desert and the lack of shade around the castle, things never seemed to be bright. 

I sat on a bed wearing the thin, stiff gown they’d given me listening to my parents angrily talk like I wasn’t there. I’ve never been the daughter they wanted. I’m still not. But do they have to speak about it so openly? And after what I’ve been through?

“I knew she would end up like this,” my mother said. “I knew and I warned her about her behavior—she invites this sort of reaction in.” 

My father and the castle doctor said nothing. 

“We’re just lucky there probably won’t be a child—Daisy can’t make herself out to be easy and then cry foul the second the wrong boy takes her up on it. What does she expect? They’re men.” My mother was more angry at me than the situation, she buried her face in her hand. “No man will want to court her. They’ll be too afraid she could accuse them next?” 

Father would agree with her later that this was punishment for my being promiscuous—for my having the nerve to walk around with exposed arms and date who I choose and do what I choose with them. I’m still certain that she pushed him to it. He’s always been a coward; he’s always buckled under her pressure. 

Back then in the hospital bed I was determined to stay true to who I was, to live without the stigma of being a slut or some kind of victim. I would keep on being who I am, fucking who I want to fuck, and when I go to my grave I’ll know that I lived this life to its fullest. 

When I go to my grave…

Heh, that’s come sooner than expected. 

* * *

* * *

A warm hand touches my forehead. I’m alive it seems. I’m alive. 

Peach runs her hand through my hair, her slender fingers scratch at my scalp as she strokes my head. I blink the blurriness out of my eyes, but even before that I’m sure it’s her. She’s been crying, there’s trails in her makeup where the tears ran. “Daisy.” 

“Peaches.” My throat feels like the deserts back home. I’ve never been more thirsty in my life. 

She slides her arms around behind me, pulling me against her. “You were—you scared us.” 

“Did—did I miss the reception?” I ask. 

“No,” Peach says almost in tears. “They said you’re okay enough to go, but that you might feel tired.” 

I run my hand over my breasts and stomach. “It’s shocking there’s not a hole in me…” 

“Thank Rosalina,” she says.

“Where is she?” 

“Sleeping—it took a lot of it out of her.” 

I glance down over her back. She’s still in her wedding dress. She still smells like perfume and fresh sweat—and she’s spotted with blood. “Can I have something to drink?”

Peach lowers me to the bed and moves to grab the nearby pitcher off of the table and pour some water into short, fat cup. She doesn’t let me take it to drink for myself. “Do you feel alright?” She asks. 

“I’m in pain, but that’s better than dead, right?”

“Yeah—I guess it is. Look, you don’t have to come to the reception. We can postpone this whole stupid thing and wait until you’re feeling one hundred percent. You’re so important to us, Daisy.” 

“Your dress is covered in my blood,” I point to her chest. “I ruined it.” 

“It’s my fault this happened to you…my hubris,” Peach shakes her head. “This is nothing—this is just a dress,” she says as she sits the water down and touches both hands to her chest. Her eyes close and there’s an odd light around her. I never noticed it before when she did magic, but the stains on the dress are pulled inward to where her hands are centered and finally vanish. 

“That’s impressive.”

Peach laughs, but it’s not her laugh. “Yeah, how domestic-friendly of me. I can get a blood stain out of a dress, but don’t ask me to save my best friend’s life.” 

“You’ve got to stop. I am okay. That fabulous kid of yours is to thank for that—I’d eat her out right now if I didn’t have this blinding headache.” I cover my eyes with one hand, it helps. The light is what really hurts. 

She’s staring down into the center of her lap, thinking super hard about the dark folds of her dress there. “I’m really sorry for how I’ve acted with you.” 

“What are you on about now?” 

“I judged you for the cursing and the crude jokes—I probably made you feel unappreciated. Daisy, you’re—you’re real important to me,” she can’t look at me. “I want you to remember that no matter what happens from here on out.” 

Tears are starting to sting at my eyes. Really? Fuck you, Peach. “Don’t do this right now—my makeup is probably the only part of me that’s not feeling ruined right now. I don’t know how long my hair has been pressed against this stiff ass pillow.” I rub the back of my hand over my face.

Peach kisses me on the lips and it probably lasts longer than it should. Or I can’t tell—I’m stuck stunned. My face reddens as she pulls away. “Hey—save it for your wedding night,” I force myself to giggle. “Aren’t we supposed to watch you and Mario—you know…”

“…consummate?”

“…Viciously fuck. Seriously, he hasn’t had sex in _years_ , I don’t want to be within a block of that place when he goes off.” 

Peach chuckles and strokes my hair. “You can sit it out. The reception is still before all of that. I have to get ready, Luigi is going to stay with you.” 

“Thanks.” I grab her hand and move it away. “Really, I’m okay. I’ll dance at your wedding, headache or not.” 

There’s a knock at the door and by the subtle rhythmic hits I can tell it’s him. “Come in, darling!” 

Luigi opens the door, his body is shaking and his hands and wrists stained red. He looks a mess. He looks worse than I feel. “Am-am I interrupting something?”

“No, I was just leaving.” Peach rises from the bed and grabs my hand. “You take it easy.” 

“Don’t let this queen shit go to your head. I’m not one of your fucking subjects!” I yell. 

She leaves the room after hugging Luigi and he comes toward me. “Hey,” Luigi says digging his toe into the tile in front of him. 

“Did you get hurt too?” I ask. 

“He shakes his head. “I thought I lost you—I thought…when it happened I don’t know what happened. It was like I was just inside my body watching things happen. I was fighting Mario and I killed that thing.” 

“The cunt who stabbed me in the tit? Good.” 

“Him too—but I killed that dragon, also.” 

“The group of you, like you and our guests that could fight with the guns and ships and whatever it is that pink marshmallow does?” I ask.

“Alone. I killed it alone.” 

“Also good. If I’m going to go out I want you to kill whoever it is that killed me. None of this, be better shit. You fuck them up.” 

He starts to cry. “Then why am I so fucked up?” Luigi asks. “Why does it hurt right here?” He touches his chest.

There’s blood staining his hands and his sleeves. Most of it is probably mine. I don’t care. I push myself up out of my bed to move toward him, shedding the covers. The floor is ice cold and the smell of the room changes now that I’m standing—it’s like everything is soaked in piss and discount cleanser. “Hey, it’s okay.” 

“It really isn’t. It feels like, like I lost a part of myself.” 

“No you didn’t. That part of you has always been there,” I say poking his chest. “You have always protected me and Peach and your brother. You’re the heart of this little fucked up family,” I explain. “Peach is a neurotic mess, I’m fucking awful, Mario doesn’t really ever think anything through—if your flaw is that you care too much then you’re doing really good.” 

Luigi sighs. “I cared enough to kill?” 

I grab his hands and press them together, holding them in front of my face to kiss them. He tries to jerk away from me for a split second, but stop himself. He comes closer to me, pressing his body to mine and curling against me to rest his head on my chest. “Yes.” 

His face is inside of the shitty hospital gown and his breath courses over my skin, around the underside of my tit, and the spot where I was stabbed. “Sit down—sit,” I say positioning him against the bed and breaking free of his grasp. 

I go to the door and lock the little deadbolt—nurses probably have a key for emergencies, so I shove the little rolly cart table in front of it to add to the little barricade. The good thing about this hospital gown is that I’m naked underneath. It makes what I’m about to do easier. 

My body tingles as I press myself against his legs on the side of the bed. “Look at me, Luigi, look.” 

His eyes are on his lap, he’s watching my thighs, but the moment that I start to slip out of the hospital gown and it falls down past my waist and to the floor he looks up. “We can’t, Daisy, you’re hurt.” 

“We can’t or you don’t want to?” I grab for his wrists, pulling them to my hips and I can feel his fingertips start to play across my skin. His thumb traces the diagonal line of my hip bone and I bit my lip hoping he’ll follow the trail through. His hand at the fringes of the smooth dark hairs, his fingers recoiling back. 

“I want to.” 

My horny little plumber; I love the shit out of him. “Though so.” My voice is low and slow as I fumble with the awkward slide-latch button combo of his tuxedo pants. “Fucking might not fix trauma, but you have to admit I’m an awesome distraction.”

Luigi nods and I climb on his lap, my legs locked around his hips and kiss him. I work his tux jacket down and he starts to help, it snags on his cufflinks and we both yank at it to free it. He kisses me, more like his usual self now, biting my chapped lips roughly. A bit of my hair is caught between us and he pulls away. “I love you.” 

“Duh.” I glance down at his hands and my eyes trace back up the sleeves of his exposed shirt to see more darkened splotches of my blood. I bounce in his lap, scooting closer to him. “Now, let’s make sure we never get the deposit for this suit back.” 


	16. Long Live the Queen

It’d strange to think about, but there are several people who I have never seen sleep despite interacting with them constantly. I think that part of me was convinced Rosalina didn’t need sleep. She’s so above it all and in control of the cosmos and looking out for the Lumas. 

Sleep doesn’t feel like something she has time for. 

Maybe it’s just imagination or the lack of light in this room, but she looks frail now. Her arms and legs too long and slender and her cheeks sunken in to the point that she looks sick. 

I will sit with her as long as I can. 

“Did this ever happen with you after you used magic?” Mario asks.

I shake my head. “Her magic is different than mine.” I say that, but Mario doesn’t know how similar she and I are. He doesn’t know I’m her mother. Is it my place to tell him?

Geno, who accompanied us here, is standing in the corner of the room with his arms folded. He looks nothing like the Geno I know and has, instead, taken on the appearance of a dark skinned man wearing a dark blue suit. And yet, I can feel him in there. It still feels like talking to Geno. “Rosalina is an expert; she would not strain herself more than she could handle.”

There’s no telling what Rosalina thinks of Daisy, her Daisy, from her timeline. She might give up everything to save a beloved aunt and the mother to her cousins. Or really good friend—Daisy could be that cool older friend that some women have. That seems a lot like Daisy. 

“You never explained your body to us. Why do you look different?” I ask Geno. 

He holds his hands down at his hips with his palms turned upward, looking at them. “You like it?” He asks. “My old body was a child’s toy and the nearest thing I could find. This is a real human body.” 

“You’re just possessing some poor bastard?” Mario asks. 

“Yes and no. He has been in a coma and there was no chance for him to wake up. He has no remaining family and was, other than the coma, in perfect health. His spirit had departed. He’s little more than a doll of flesh.”

“Mama…” Rosalina jerks whole body sideways on the bed. Her bangs flop over onto the pillow to lay flat. “Mama, I tried. I tried to come back.” 

She’s having a dream. While I realize that it’s not my place to tell Mario who she is, one wrong word here and she could ruin everything for herself. 

“She’s really out of it. Should we get someone?” Asks Mario. 

“Uh, no. Just let me deal with it. Can I have a moment alone with her?” 

“Mama, please…” Rosalina moans. 

Mario looks me up and down. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” 

“I can look after her for a bit. You need to go change anyway,” I force a smile. 

Mario kisses me on the lips and, with Geno close behind, leaves the room. I give it several seconds before I react. Rosalina is calling for me, almost chanting now. “Mama, please. Please, believe me.” 

“Mama’s here,” I kiss her forehead. “We won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe.” 

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I always come back. I’m always going to be right here,” I say as I touch her chest right above her heart. It’s not a complex spell and I am sure that if her natural resistances to magic weren’t weakened by all that she’s done she wouldn’t even be affected, but I’m able to calm her with a sleep spell. Rosalina’s body goes limp and sinks back aground the bed. “I need you to rest—please.” 

A guard will be posted outside. They’ll make sure no one disturbs her on my orders. Before I leave I smooth her hair back, letting it settle off to the side of her face. Right now I would rather be here with my daughter or with Daisy making sure that she’s getting her rest. But the future of my kingdom won’t allow me to do whatever I want. 

* * *

* * *

The reception is the kind of glitz and glam that you’d expect from a huge New Donk City wedding. It’s a good thing that we planned to have it on a series of rooftops with stars built between the levels since it’s one of the few places in this area of the city where the dragon fight earlier didn’t cause too much damage.

The dance floor is on the lowest of the buildings, with an area for eating in the middle that has a small hot tub, not sure who thought that was a good idea, on the upper level food is being served and a stage overlooks everything. Pauline has been wowing the crowd with her voice—most of the song now is a jazzy freestyle thing, but it’s the right kind of thing to take my mind off of what comes next. 

Mario and I dance our way over the wooden dance floor laid out on the roof. The Doom Ship and some other airships keep watch in the sky around us, circling slowly to make sure there’s not a repeat of earlier. I’m sure, somehow, that there won’t be, but it seems unfair that I should feel safe here while my people suffer. 

“Here we go,

“Off the rails.

“Don’t you know it’s time to raise our sails?

“It’s freedom like you never knew.”

Pauline’s words shock me at first and they seem to come out of nowhere, but the band anticipates them and follows her into the song. 

I lean close to Mario, letting him lead me on a staggered path through our guests. Geno is across the room dancing with a very impressed looking Gretchen. I don’t think he notices how she’s looking at him, but if she makes a wish—he’ll get the message. 

Lissette and Mallow are dancing right off to my side. When I meet her eyes she cracks a small smile and shrugs as if to say “hey, what are you going to do?” 

“And if the dark clouds start to swirl

“Don’t fear, don’t shed a tear

“‘Cause

“I’ll be your one-up girl!” 

Apparently Mario knows this song, he extends his arm out leading me into a twirl just before the song mentions the clouds swirling. I take the instruction, not realizing what he’s done until after it’s all said and done. 

I giggle frantically. “Did you really just do that?” I say near his ear.

“Yeah, I did. Head’s up.” 

Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn to see Luigi and Daisy standing there. She looks throughly happy with herself. What’s she gotten into now?

“May I have this dance?” Luigi asks.

Mario looks up at me, as if he had to ask and then passes me to his brother. I press in close to Luigi, smiling. “I see Daisy didn’t take my advice to stay in bed…” 

“Did you think she would?” He asks.

I never answer and Luigi takes the lead, moving with me toward the center of the floor. 

Daisy grabs Mario by the arm. “Looks like you’re stuck with Daisy!” She says. 

“Spin the wheel

“Take a chance

“Every journey starts a new romance

“A new world’s calling out to you.

“Take a turn

“Off the path

“Find a new addition to the cast

“You know that any captain needs a crew.” 

As we dance I see that people all over the place are mouthing the lyrics and singing out loud. How have I never heard this song before. 

“Did you see up there?” Luigi doesn’t point, but he lets his gaze do it for him. 

When I’m facing whatever it is he spoke of I glance up to see the parliament members, minus Queen Amy. They’re the old guard—my mother’s generation. They seem to be very intently watching me now. 

“What do they want?” Luigi asks. 

“They thought that they would have grounds to oust me. Maybe they see this thing with Ruin as a chance to get out from under the shadow of the Toadstool Dynasty.” I shrug. “I’m not sure why. We’re not exactly ruthless or trying to control them—our borders haven’t changed in four hundred years.” 

The music is loud, but I am sure Luigi heard me. “You need to be careful.” 

“I’m trying, Luigi. I—I don’t know how much more careful I can play it while my people suffer.” 

“Not because of Ruin, but because of them,” Luigi says. 

“I don’t follow.”

Luigi looks me dead in the eye. “Do you know what the CIA is?” 

“It’s a TV network in your world?” 

“They’re foreign intelligence in America. They’ve also used agents to topple governments from the inside. They strike during transitions of power, sometimes they kill a leader to upset the balance. They undermine the system to skew results in their favor,” he explains. 

“That sounds sort of sinister.” 

“Depends on who you ask,” says Luigi. “But you’re vulnerable right now. There’s no heir to your throne and your country is weakened. Even if the Ruin thing is dealt with someone else could use it as an excuse to try something.”

The parliament members are there, watching from just outside of the bright lights of the roof above. There’s never been this level of power spread out so evenly between them—normally one or two of them are at war with each other or at the very least going through some hard times. I’ve never thought about an actual attack from one of them before, but Luigi’s right. 

“I promise to keep an eye out.” 

The song is ending now and we dance through that song into the next. It’s a slower thing and the words start almost immediately this time, but I can’t make them out. 

“What did Ruin call you?” Luigi asks. 

“Izanami.” 

“Do you know what it means?” 

I shrug. “I’m trying not to even think about it right now. I’ve got to have intercourse for the first time and in front of a live audience. You can imagine I’m freaking out now.” 

“You and Mario never did, huh?” He asks. 

“You know we didn’t.” 

Luigi giggles. “I thought you were being modest or two embarrassed to tell me.” 

I spot Mario, Daisy is no longer with him and he’s dancing with his mother. “No. I just never wanted to break from tradition. Maybe it’s stupid, but it just felt meaningful to me, you know.” 

“It’s not stupid. You don’t run around playing holier than thou and telling others they’re in the wrong for what they choose to do.” Luigi says. 

“I’m scared, though. I feel like—from some of the different things Mario and I have done, that I have an idea what to expect, but then I don’t know. People treat it differently.”

“Take your time and don’t think too hard about it. A lot of it will come naturally to you and Mario will be patient with you. You don’t have to put on a show for the onlookers.”

I sigh. “Let’s hope they leave before things get too odd. What if I make a weird face or a sound or something?” 

“If you really need us, Daisy and I will come. It’s not something I ever wanted to see, but for you Princess…” Luigi trailed off. “I’m sorry.”

“Nonsense. You’re always welcome to call me princess.” 

* * *

* * *

There were two toasts, one by Bowser and the other by Luigi. I caught a glimpse of Bowser dancing shortly after that, he and Hariet were hugged close in their own little corner of the dance floor dancing to a song that no one else could hear. 

Bowser and I danced—awkward as that may sound and Mario shared a dance with Hariet. That was even more awkward. Cappy and Tiara stopped by to wish us well and join in the festivities. Explaining that one to our guests took a bit of doing. 

Between all of the other things going on, I keep my glass full. It’s my wedding and considering what we’re about to do it feels like the perfect excuse to stay comfortably intoxicated. I make sure to keep up my water intake and have food here and there, but this corset can only take so much. 

It’s easy to lose track of time. I’m at the table sat out for Mario and I at the front of the eating area when a stiff looking man makes his way toward me with his arms clasped behind his back. His hair is dark and slicked to the side and he moves with a dignified air that comes from years of being told you’re too good for everyone else. 

Babish Kinsey is the chair of the world parliament. It’s his duty to oversee the sort of transfers of power that my wedding represents and in most cases to be the main witness to anything of legal importance. He also hasn’t said a single word to me all day nor has he congratulated me. 

“Princess Toadstool, by my count the hour is well after ten and a bedding ceremony should take place before the wedding day is completed.” He says . 

Mario looks to me. “Is it time?” 

I nod. Babish glances side to side. “Your parents are no longer with us, but we will need any family that the groom can muster.” 

“Let us handle the close friends and family, we just need you to prepare the parliament members who wish to join us.” 

Babish nods and with a superficial bow, he backs away. 

Mario and I set out into the crowd to gather the small group of people we’re entrusting with this. Amy, because she’s the only queen I can count on to be one hundred percent on my side at this point. Gretchen and Lissette, of course. Mallow too. Bowser was the weirdest, but this wedding has made me an outcast in the way that he once was. I can’t spurn any allies now. Miss Basilone also has to be there due to the fact that she’s the only mother we have between us. 

Luigi and Daisy insisted on being there to support us, which is nice in a way and also I think she’s still curious about how Mario looks naked. If all goes well no one will see either of us naked, though. 

Our guests are taken to the actual room that’s been prepped for us and we follow Babish to a room where we can quickly shower and change into whatever it is we want to wear for the ceremony. Mario is separated from me until we’re in the room for the event. 

Beneath my wedding dress was this lacy corset. When I picked it out Mario was to be the only one who saw it so the top is a little more see through than I would like. I check in the mirror and I can clearly make out the dark circles of my nipples under the mesh of white fabric. 

I throw on one of the bath robes in the room and make my way out to the hall to find an attendant that was left for me. She escorts me to a closed door where a pair of guards wait. This is something I have wondered about since I was a little girl. I read so many novels where the heroine is ravished by her dashing prince and even before I knew what it all meant it made me tingle all over. 

“Heh, this is it, huh?” I ask the attendant. “Oh boy.” 

“Right this way Princess Toadstool,” she says ignoring me as she opens the door. 

When I step into the room everyone looks at me. Mario is standing near this bed at the center of a room that I think is way too small. The bed itself is the largest piece of furniture in here. Shimmery curtains dangle down from the ceiling surrounding the bed, but they’re just thin enough to be see through.

Everything is lit by candle in here and there’s not much in the way of light, but I can see Mario standing in a robe next to the bed. His hands are balled up at his sides and he watches every move I make. As I get close to him, Mario reaches out to take my hand and kisses it lightly. This is odd already.

It’s hard to ignore the fact that several members of prominent families, my mother-in-law, and my brother-in-law are about to watch me have sex on my wedding night. 

Mario guides me toward the bed, moving the curtains aside with one hand. He helps me up. “Are you sure you want to do this.”

“Yes, but the same thing goes for you.” My hands close around his. “I will not be party to a marriage where I don’t consider your feelings. If this is too much then—then…” 

A warm hand touches my shoulders and the sides of my neck. Mario is trying to help me disrobe, but he only pulls the robe down to the middle of my back before he stops. He covers my body with his, trying to preserve some level of modesty for me. I appreciate that. 

If he found some normal girl back in Brooklyn he wouldn’t be going through this. He would be getting married in one of those nice churches that he showed me as we walked the street. He’d have to worry about the regular stresses of a marriage. Not this. 

He kisses my wrist, his breath washing over my hand and arm as he breaths me in. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I’ll never tire of him saying that. When I hear it, even if for the briefest second, my world is okay again. Everything makes sense. 

We pull back the curtains together and climb into the bed. This provides some level of cover, but just feet away our friends and family and some dignitaries stand watching us. What do they expect to happen if we’ve come this far? What do they expect he and I to do behind closed doors? 

Had it not been for this ceremony and the havoc caused by Ruin I would have done this myself hours ago. I would have done it right after the wedding. My gaze falls off to the side of the bed toward the spectators I know to be there. Mario pulls my chin so that I am facing him. “Eyes forward,” he whispers before covering my lips with his. 

I sink back or he lowers me. It’s hard to tell. Either way I am on my back in a bed that isn’t my own in a city far from my kingdom. Something fragrant and sweet has been sprayed on the sheets to give them an almost peppermint quality. 

Mario moves to kissing my neck, his lips finding their way down its side until they’re at my shoulder. “Are you ready?” He asks.

I nod and try to speak, but the words come out a vague sigh. He pulls the covers up over the two of us, wiggling until he’s in place. I move my legs for him and he’s hesitant to just…get down to it. He teases me and plays with my hair. 

And when I’m lulled into warm, dull bliss he sinks inside of me. Everything feels hot and wet and too tight. It hurts, not cry out in pain kind of hurt, but it’s a small stinging pain. I wince as he moves against me and a pained grunt escapes. 

The door to the room opens and closes rapidly as someone is shuttled out. Mario’s mother, would be my guess. Who can blame her? The longer it goes on the more I start to like it, but it never gets to the level that the other things he and I have done do. It never comes to that merciful peak where you almost can’t take it anymore. 

And then it’s just kind of done. It lasted a while, it never felt amazing. Mario kisses me again and I can tell even in this dim light that he wants to do more. He wants to really take me right here on this bed. 

I wrap an arm around his shoulders and draw him close. “We can’t.” I say. 

Mario nods and buries his face against my breast. There’s a clap from the spectators and Babish shuffles toward the bed. “I doubt there will be any blood, given the Princess’s age, but we can call this union consummated and your Queenship validated.” 

I pull the sheet around myself, covering my chest with it and tying it into a knot. “My ascension was validated after I said ‘I do’. This archaic ritual is the stuff of nightmares and I’ll be damned if I don’t move to abolish any chance of it taking place for future Queens.” 

“You can’t—“

“Don’t ever tell me what I can’t do. I’d learn my place were I you, Babish. Like how you were only head of parliament because no Queen sat on the Mushroom throne. You and your staff can vacate the offices as soon as is possible. I’ll be bringing in my own people.” 

“Y-yes, Empress Toadstool.” Babish bows curtly, and darts for the door of the room. 

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Asks Mario. 

“Yes. I just hate being toyed with. I hate that everyone thinks they can do it.” 

The elder statesmen and women in the room stand in stunned silence and then they begin a chant that’s unfamiliar with me. “All hail the Empress, our beginning and end, the Izanami no mikoto…”

There goes that name again. What is that? My mother never permitted herself to be called Empress. Never really made most of her subjects address her as Queen. I shrug it off. 

“Thank you all. We can begin to clean up the mess that is the Ruin as soon as we bring parliament to session.” I say. 

“You’ve got my full support, Peach,” Bowser says. 

“I know. Now if you’d excuse me the King and I need our privacy.” 

* * *

* * *

The reception is still going on when I go back outside, from the roof of this building I can see down to the three building group where my guests are dancing and drinking and celebrating. New Donk City bounces back from tragedy quick.

Pauline is an amazing woman and an even better mayor. I wish I had her head for this kind of thing. I wish that I had her commanding presence and the respect of all the people, not just my own loyal subjects.

“I saw you come up here. Are you okay?” Daisy is behind me in the doorway that leads back inside. She’s still in her dress and her hair has resorted to it’s usual goofy state. Her hands go to her hips. “Going to pretend you don’t see me?”

“Sorry. I got so…mad earlier. I’m just fed up with the way that the other rulers were acting about me coming to power. They went through that just to embarrass me and then they speak to me like I’m a weak child…”

Daisy folds her arms over her chest and closes the gap between us. “Don’t lie to me, Peaches, okay? Just…don’t.” 

“What are you going on about?” I ask.

“That bullshit with the parliament has been going on for years. They did it with your mother from what I understand. It’s because you’re kind and your kingdom works better than all of theirs combined. That’s not what has you upset.” 

“Okay, Daisy, if you’re such an expert on me…” 

“You’re mad about the sex. It was lackluster and you expected fireworks.” 

I freeze. We’re not discussing this now. She watched me have sex less than an hour ago and…

“It’s okay to admit it. There’s a lot of reasons it might not go well. You were stressed. It’s your first time. Not everyone gets off to every kind of stimulation…”

Am I broken. It feels like Mario married a wife with a problem or maybe what he was doing is the problem. I want to blame him, but at the same time I can’t. I can’t blame him because the whole situation has been one thing after another. 

“It feels like he managed to get off, though.”

“Doll, if Luigi got caught in the sheets wrong he could go off—it’s different for most of them, just wait until he can’t get it up. You’re going to feel bad then.” 

“It sounds like you’re picking on me.” 

“No, I’m trying to get you ready. We don’t live in a fairytale. Just because you got married doesn’t mean your story is over. Bad can still happen. There’s a chance you might not get your home back for a long time. It’s just reality.”

Where is this coming from? “Can you give me some pointers so that Mario and I can at least…have a better time?” 

Daisy shrugs. “I can do you one better. I got you a gift that’s down in my room. It’s pretty much going to save your life, but I didn’t want you to open it in front of Mario’s mom or anything.” She hugs me. 

“Thanks.” 

“That’s what friends are for,” she says. “Something does have me curious. Back there when they called you that weird name…”

“Izanami no mikoto?” 

“Yeah—that’s the one. What was that all about?” Daisy asks. 

So much is going on that I’m not even trying to worry about that detail yet, but it’s the same name or part of the same name that Ruin called me. “I’m not sure. It must be some old tradition.” 

“Do you think it has to do with all that goddess stuff?” Daisy asks. 

I shrug. “I still don’t believe it. You heard what Rosalina said—her mother told her the stories. Which means I told them to her. That could have been some game I played with a child before bedtime or maybe the version of me she knows isn’t all there.” 

“Sounds like you’re thinking a bit too hard about all of this. We need to get some more liquor in you, it’s a celebration.” 

“I think I’m done celebrating; I think soon it will be time for war.” 


	17. The Prickly Peach

Two or three hours of sleep is enough for me to get by. This basement room below the small house we’re staying in doesn’t really betray the time of day. I’ve been reading books for hours straight—taking notes so that the little details don’t slip away from me due to the volume of information that I’m going over. Books on tactics, military campaigns, and anything that I can find with details about the war one thousand years ago. 

Lissette and Gretchen take trips into the city for me to find more books. With Gretchen’s kingdom being one of the few where people live abnormally long lives, she’s been vital. The oldest citizens she has are around six hundred, people alive for two hundred years of their lives remembered the war. 

I don’t really know what time it is or if it’s day or night. Lissette and Gretchen slip in dressed in the kind of clothes that people in New Donk wear when they’re not going to work. The guard knows to let them in. 

“What do you have for me?” I ask without looking up. 

“Not much, the only six hundred year old internals we could find were—a little bat shit,” Lissette says. 

Gretchen’s freckled hand touches the table near my book. “Our lifespans vary, but the type that live the longest don’t tend to be the most…sane.” 

I sigh, shaking my head. “Yours is the only Kingdom that would have inside knowledge. Your people sided with Ruin for longer than anyone else in the war. When you broke away the intel you would have possessed had to be immense.” 

“But you’re asking for thousand year old intel,” Lissette says. “Ruin hasn’t been frozen in suspended animation all this time. It’s got to be aware of what’s happening. Otherwise it would have gotten up here and been confused by cars and skyscrapers…” 

Gretchen folds her arms uneasily. “It’s held this grudge for all of this time. Maybe it’s not just out to kill you?” 

“I figured that too, it wants to ruin everything my family has built.” 

Lissette takes a seat on the edge of the table, crossing her legs as she reclines back some to bring herself down to eye level with me. “Parliament’s meeting in a couple of days. You’re not going to have a complete plan ready by then.” 

“I need to get as much as I can. I’ve wasted more than enough time.”

“They gave you a nickname,” Lissette says off handedly. “Yeah, after that tongue-lashing you gave Babish at the bedding ceremony some of the parliamentary members have taken to calling you ‘The Prickly Peach’.”

My hand glides across the page under each line as I read. “That’s not the kind of information I need right now.”

“Lissette, stop.” Gretchen says. 

“She needs to hear this.” Lissette says turning toward Gretchen and then she gets down in my face, covering my book with her hand. “See, they tried to block your appointment because you were seen as weak. But you had sex in front of a dozen people just to counter their annulment and then got out of bed wrapped in a sheet to fire the person who had been rude to you. They’re scared to a degree, but they believe in you now.” 

I glare up into her eyes. “Why aren’t you scared of me?” 

Lissette picks at her fingers absently. “I’m only scared of one thing…boredom. If you keep me entertained I’m fine.”

Someone grabs the door handle and twists at it, I turn to see Mario standing in the doorway with a faded look in his eyes. “It’s almost four in the morning—have you been up this entire time?” 

My fingers tuck into the crease of the book and I close it on my hand. “You know what kind of time constraints we’re working with here. If I don’t have something to present to the parliament by the time they convene we’ll miss a vital window.” 

“You still have to sleep—you’re wearing the same clothes again. That’s two days in a row.” 

“So you’re keeping track of what I wear now?” 

Mario’s expression goes flat and I regret my tone, but why doesn’t he understand how important this is? “Princess Gretchen, Princess Lissette, can I speak to my wife alone, please?” He asks, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to will himself awake. 

The pair bound up together and head for the door. Lissette is gone first snd Gretchen stops in the doorway, turning so that her red curls bounce up onto her shoulder as she speaks to me. “I’ll keep looking for any information that can help.” When the door closes Mario moves toward the table where I’m sitting, putting his hand on mine. 

“I’m not watching what you wear—not intentionally. I notice; I always notice you.” He explains. 

It is taking everything I have to just be here. I miss my home and I am worried about what will become of it. If nothing is done the Ruin will only get worse. It’s lashing out will get more brutal and uncontrolled. How do I make that clear to Mario and the others? “I know you…notice me. I just—can’t do this right now, Mario.” 

“I’m not sleeping until you do. If we’re going to stay awake, we’re staying awake together. Just tell me what you need me to do.” He just wants to help. It’s clear that he wants to help. Mario’s blue eyes search my face in the dimly lit room. This is putting stress on everything. Maybe there’s some validity to what Daisy claimed about the bedding ceremony. 

I wring my hands together, stopping to play with my wedding ring. I’m not used to it being on my finger. My signet ring is something I’ve had for years and it’s always been in the same place, but this new feeling is weirdly comforting while at the same time being a little annoying. 

“Mario, I don’t think that you can help me anyway besides…just being here,” I explain. “But I need you fresh—I need you there to help me out with the day to day things. I’m going to need rest after this.” 

“You don’t think it’s a little unfair that you decided to just cut me out of all of this. How many times have my brother and I saved you?” 

“That was different! That was Bowser. No offense to him, but he’s not trying to murder anyone! I just watched a-a thing turn my best friend into a corndog. I will not have my husbands blood on my fingers!” 

He sighs. “I’m still king.” 

“And this is still a matriarchy,” I say too loudly, pointing at the ground next to myself as if to indicate more than the country I come from, as if to tell him I’m the boss in this marriage. This is all wrong. “I-I’m sorry.” 

His face sours as he looks down at his feet. 

Daisy pokes her head in through the door, she could have hurried. I told the girls that if Mario came in here I might need Daisy as back up. She’s already dressed for bed in a loose fitting night gown that is a very light yellow color. “Mario—I need you. It’s pretty urgent.” 

“Can it wait just a second?” He shouted. 

“It can’t, just please,” Daisy said. 

With a sigh Mario left the room, the air seemed to loosen up behind him. Why were we like this. Why did I feel that I couldn’t talk to him. 

“I’ll be there in a second,” Daisy hollers down the hallway as she rushes into the room. “You’re going to let me talk to him…”

“Daisy, no…”

“You can’t function like this and it’s no way to start off a wedding.” 

“No, it’s just weird. What if something gets brought up that he doesn’t know about? What if he’s so mad that resents me?” 

Daisy fishes around in her gown to find a pair of binoculars and a walkie-talkie used by the security team in the building set. “Better for you to know now. Wait for us on the Donk Commerce Bank building across the street. I’ll be sure to turn this on,” she says slipping one walkie down the front of her night shirt so that it rests between her breasts. “You watch through these.” 

She darted out of the room, looking back to rush me along. “The moment I’m gone you need to hurry. I’ll fix this. Trust Daisy.” 

I know she has my best in mind, but something tells me that the parliament may get their wishes of an annulled marriage yet. 

* * *

* * *

I had to get to the opposite roof the fastest way that I knew how, getting a running start I leaped out into the air and off of the roof of this building. I use my umbrella to levitate carefully down to the lower tier of the bank roof. From there, my jump height was enough to traverse the step-like tiers of this building that led to the upper most roof. 

I shut my umbrella, putting it down at my side. Daisy and Mario weren’t on the roof yet, but I figure that she’s stalling. It’s cold this high up without the other buildings to shield me from the wind. I hunker down on the roof, in the shadows and stare out across the gap that is the street waiting for them. 

“Oh,” I switch on the walkie on to hear them mid-sentence. The building is garbling some of what’s being said, but I can still understand. 

“…to the roof.” Daisy says. 

“I don’t have time for your games, Daisy.” 

“Could you trust me, just once?” 

“No—no, I can’t trust you and another thing is I think—I think you’re bad for my brother.” 

Daisy lets that go unanswered. 

“You just make everything into a joke. You’re always performing. Luigi needs someone that can be real for a change!” 

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you’re raising your voice at, you don’t know shit about your brother and I because you never concern yourself with learning. No one pulls harder for you and Peach than Luigi and I’m a close second. You’ve never really spent time with us. If you don’t like me, that’s all fine and good, but you picked a fucked up time to say something.” 

“Oh goodness,” I whispered. 

Mario is breathing so heavily I can hear it through the walkie and he slams into something metallic, the door onto the roof flies open with a thunderous sound as he steps out. His noises become lighter as he moves further from Daisy and the walkie. 

“Now you’re not really mad at me, are you? You’re mad at Peach and yourself. Don’t take this out on me because I try to fucking help,” Daisy says, she’s crying now. I can hear it in her voice. I lift the binoculars to my eyes to confirm my suspicions. “Now, I love her Mario—and I love you too. I just want you to be happy.” 

Mario dropped to sit with his back against the small wall that fenced off the edge of the roof. He huffs out a breath, shaking his head. “Look, I’m sorry Daisy. You mean a lot to us. I just don’t know what to do.” 

“About what?” Daisy asks sniffling. She takes a seat next to him. 

“I think—I think Peach got a taste of what sex with me was like and she’s disgusted,” Mario says. “I think she’s avoiding me because she knows it’s the truth.” 

How could he think that. I mean, I never told him what was going on, but how dare he think that I am…disgusted with him. What would give him that idea?

“Why would you even say that?” Daisy’s words mirror my thoughts. 

“I’m this fat, sweaty fuck who couldn’t really get her off. I fall into her world one day and save her from a dragon turtle—that’s not the basis for a successful marriage. Maybe she just felt obligated…” 

Daisy grabbed him by the shoulders. “Mario, let me tell you something.” She stares right into his face. “Most of us don’t cum from you just fucking us the traditional way. Peach is worried about the only home she’s ever known. She had a bunch of old fucks watching her. She almost lost me earlier that same day. You don’t think that her nerves could have made it…difficult?” Daisy asks. 

“Yeah.”

“I mean, we know you’re not lacking in what your packing,” Daisy punches his arm playfully before rubbing the back of her hand under her eye to clear a tear. “She told me all about your crank.” 

Oh, come on Daisy.

“She did?” Mario asks surprised.

“No, I asked her what was up with it and she wouldn’t say. But you and Luigi came out of the same womb at the same time. My very educated guess is that I was right.” Daisy looks away. “Why am I so concerned with everyone’s dick?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“It’s whatever—unless you know what Bowser’s looks like. Scratch that, focus Daisy, I’m going to help you out here. For real.” 

Mario glances to his side. “How so?” 

“With some sex tips.”

“I think I’m good, really.”

“Now don’t be like that, do you know when I first had sex? I was fourteen and do you want to know what else happened when I was a teen? Don’t tell Peach I told you this…” Daisy trails off.

“What?” 

“I made out with your wife—future wife. Don’t worry, there’s nothing there. She’s probably completely straight, but I wanted you to know that because I wanted you to stop treating Peach so innocent.”

What is she doing? Why would she mention that. We talked about this.

“The two of you made out? How’d it start?” 

“Perv,” Daisy says. Shockingly, Mario is smiling through all of this. “It started with us just kind of playing house. Experimenting. We were kids. I was a little chubby and she had these huge braces. We didn’t think we’d ever be pretty or that anyone would really want us.” 

Mario shook his head. “The day I met Peach. That day I rescued her form Bowser the first time I couldn’t believe that someone so beautiful could even stand to look at me. And then she was talking to me and being friendly. I just fell in love with her.”

I’m trying not to cry and trying even harder to avoid using the push-to-talk button to tell Mario that I love him. 

“You need to tell her this,” Daisy says. “Now, I got you guys a little sex toy and I got her some lingerie. It’s all in a box back at your room. Tell her you’re going to bed and tell her when you get there you’re not going to be sleeping. And pull her hair and talk dirty to her. Put her in a mood,” Daisy says. “You’re going to have to encourage her some, but you need to get her to do something dirty and our of character, don’t force her, but let her find her way.” 

“I’ll have to clear that first part with her.”

“Of course, because that’s what decent people do. And you’re a better than decent person, Mario. You just need to get your shit together.” Daisy rises to her feet and bends down to kiss his forehead. “And stop shit talking your appearance. Your belly is cute, you’ve got this whole muscle-gut thing going on.” 

Mario laughs harder than I’ve heard him laugh since the wedding. “Thanks, I think.”

“I’m fucking serious, like a golden bullet bill.” She starts for the door. “I’ve got to get inside, if this cold wind keeps up my nipples are going to shred right through this gown.” Mario stays put, but waves back at her. When Daisy is at the door she leans out to say one last thing to him. “If you ever need a partner swap or a really questionable threesome, you know who to call!” She shut the door to the building and starts down the stairs. 

“He’s all yours,” she says speaking directly into the walkie talkie. 

* * *

* * *

The bite of the wind is worse by the time that I reach the roof of the other building. I’ve wrapped myself in a blanket from downstairs, hoping to give it to Mario, but it seems like we may both need it. He’s in the same spot Daisy left him in near the edge of the building, his eyes looking out across New Donk City. 

Hearing the door shut he glances over his shoulder. “I thought it was you.” 

“Yeah,” I smile. “Daisy said you were out here. She said I should come see you.” 

Mario shook his head. “I don’t really deserve you. I mean, I know it, Peach.”

I dart to his side, kneeling next to him and wrapping his shoulders with a blanket. “Come on, cut that out. I chose you like you chose me.” 

He spreads his arms, motioning with the hand nearest to me for me to join him in the blanket. I slide in next to him, snuggling against his shoulder. “When I first saw you, I didn’t ever think for a moment I would be married to you. I didn’t think that you’d bother to care about me past a peck on the cheek and a slice of cake. But I knew I wanted to love you—to know what that’s like. Call it lust or infatuation if you want, but the more I know you…” 

I press my lips to his, cutting him off. My tears are pinned between us, cooling on the blustery wind that rips over the roofs of New Donk City. I’m scared this love might be doomed in some way, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. I don’t love anyone else and if this is going to be part of my downfall I need to see it through.

“Look, I was making excuses. When we had sex and it wasn’t all fireworks and rainbows and ponies I thought something was wrong with me. I didn’t think you’d want a broken wife who wasn’t excited by her husband,” I explain. 

“I blamed myself,” Mario says. “I didn’t consider all of the stress you were under and you just feel so—well, good. I thought it was the same for you.” 

I shake my head. “It’s not. Daisy says it’s normal, but we’ve done other things that I like more. And we’ve only had a few days to try and find out what works for us. I love you too much to let subpar sex on our first try destroy things with one of my best friends and the man I love.” 

“What else did Daisy say?” He asks rubbing his cheek on my face. 

“A lot. Probably too much.” 

For a long while we’re just together on the roof. No words pass between us and we don’t really do anything. Sure, this thing with Mario seems like less of a real problem now, but this marriage will be work. Marriages are just work, but they’re worth it if you choose right. 

Mario takes my hand in his. “Daisy said I should ask you about being rough and talking dirty. I know we tried pulling hair, but does that sort of thing interest you.” 

He was so candid with it. His level of comfort with me was already more than I think I could manage with anyone at this point. I force my mouth to speak. “Yes.” I pause to swallow. “Sometimes when you’ve rescued me in the past, I’ll be tied up and you—you kiss me. My hands and legs won’t move and it’s just your mouth on mine. I like that. I mean, I think I might like something like that. Daisy told me about something similar that she likes.” 

His fingers massage a spot in the center of my hand. “That’s a start.” He scoots his body slightly to the side to face me. 

“What do you like?” I ask. “Like, what sort of things do you want for me?” 

He drops his gaze to stare at the blanket. “It’s probably a little typical. It’s also disgusting and kind of creepy…” he says. 

My fingers dig into my knee, expecting the worst. “What is it?”

“So, when Luigi and I was young ma spent all this money putting us into a Catholic School. The uniforms were just sexy. I’m not asking you to act like a teen age girl or anything…” 

“Good, because teen aged Peach was horrible. I don’t want to be that person anymore.” That might have been a little too much. “Anything else you can think of?” I wasn’t sure what Catholic really meant, but he would explain it when asked. Best to keep things flowing. 

“Well,” returns away from me and mutters something I can’t hear. 

“What?” 

“Your tennis dress,” Mario says turning back to his lap. “You think I’m letting you win in matches, but the truth is that I’m distracted by your legs and your ass in that dress. And you just love to lunge for the ball. It drives me crazy…”

I don’t know what I’m thinking. He is saying one of his fantasy things is just me in a stupid shorter dress? It feels like he loves me too much, like I can’t really compare, but I want him to do anything right now. Maybe it’s not safe up here, but there’s still something we can do. I pull his hand over my thigh and down between my legs. 

My hand moves his fingers into folds of my skin and drop my knees to the side some so my legs part just enough to encompass our hands. He runs his fingers up and down slowly, but his words stop. 

“Keep going.” I tell him.

Mario shakes his head. “Right. You just have really great legs and you know, a butt.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

His fingers grow bolder with each passing moment. “What do you want me to tell you?” 

“I don’t know, just tell me something. Anything.” 

“Like what I really want to do to you?” Mario asks.

“Want to do to me?” 

He nods. “What I wanted that bedding to really be.”

I nod in return, the deep warm sensation spreading through my body won’t allow me to do much more. Then he whispers in my ear about how he wants to take me. He tells me about the parts of my body and how he would shower them in kisses. He talks about how I make him feel—how I feel to be inside of. He tells me how I’m his and when I’m about to cum he reaches into my shirt and the cup of my bra to work the breast with his palm. 

The fit of spasms and moans was made worse by the fact that we were outdoors and up high, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care if anyone saw us this time. What was it Daisy said? She meant for me to hear all of that, she knows I had the other walkie. She said I needed to do something dirty. Something out of character. 

Mario brought his hand up from between my legs, he is still below the blankets in my reach. I take his wrist and bring his hand up to my face and, without pausing, licked his fingers clean. They tasted…bitter and metallic. Not bad, just strange. Sort of heady in a way. 

“Wow,” he says quietly. 

“Maybe I got a little wrapped up in things?” I explain. 

“It’s okay,” Mario says kissing me roughly. “It’s sexy.” He says the final part almost directly into my mouth before slipping his tongue between my lips and moving it against my tongue. The more I thought about it, the more it was disgusting. With anyone else these actions would be kind of disgusting. 

Daisy wanted me to try something out of character, but I don’t think she knew the implications of that. Daisy actually seems to like being nasty. It suits her. But it feels like there’s a lot of options that I can engage in with just Mario and they’ll be fine. We’re doing things that are only fine because it’s the two of us doing them. 

Maybe that’s the point, being disgusting with someone forever. 


	18. The Ring

We’ve lasted longer than any relationship with my previous girlfriends. Now people that started dating after us were getting married—exactly two people, Queen Peach and my brother, Mario. It’s a confusing thing to parse out—why haven’t we done this yet? 

I stand on the corner of Dixie Street and Main looking through the plate glass window of a jeweler shop. There’s a wonderful ring in the window shaped like a flower—I know that’s the one she would want. Daisy loves flowers. It’s the one consistent thing about her all of the time I’ve known her. She wears flower themed clothes, she dressed as one for a costume party once, and she gardens. 

There’s a gentler side to Daisy. A nurturing side that wants to do right by the people in her life. People think of her as brash and tomboyish and those are part of the whole picture, but Daisy is a conundrum. She’s more complex than most people give her credit for and there’s no reason I shouldn’t have already asked her to be my wife. 

I buy the ring, cleaning out one of my accounts. It’s not enough to put me in financial ruin or anything, but the ring is something to boast about. Daisy loves to boast. Somehow she manages to be cute while doing it. I guess I think she’s cute when she’s being dirty or angry or when she’s too happy and excited. 

Or just any time, really.

I pocket the ring in the front of my overalls, securing it with an old fashioned button-through-the-buttonhole. I pat the ring down under the denim, thanking the clerk before leaving. The weeks since the wedding have been about hectic preparations for an assault on the capital of the Mushroom Kingdom, Toad Town. 

Bowser vanished across the ocean, headed for his Kingdom with the promise to mobilize what forces he could muster. Most of the Mushroom Kingdom has to be assumed to be captured. Peach sent spies, but none of them have returned. 

“Taking in some of the sights?” Someone behind me calls from further down the avenue. I turn to see Pauline sauntering toward me with a purse slung over her shoulder. She’s dressed like Carmen San Diego, red overcoat and a wide brimmed red hat. Her black high heeled boots click on the sidewalk loud enough that I can hear them from here. 

“H-hey, Pauline,” I raise a hand for a half hearted wave. “What’s going on?” 

She tucks her hands into her pockets as she stops in front of me. “Nothing too different—I haven’t seen much of you considering that you’ve been staying in the mayoral mansion.”

“I left a while back,” I try to avoid looking directly at her, I didn’t expect to meet anyone I knew out here. Especially not Pauline. “Went back to Brooklyn, but you know, had to make a purchase and most of my money is tied up in gold coins.” 

Pauline smiles that same thin smile with just a little bit of those big front teeth that she’s always smiled. “Yeah, they wouldn’t know what to do with that shit back in the real world.” 

She still called it ‘the real world’ even though she’s been living here since the beginning. Since before we knew Peach or even what a Mushroom Kingdom was. “I wonder how much longer I’ll even stay over there.” 

“What do you mean?” Asks Pauline.

“I mean, I don’t have many ties to that world. Just mom and a few friends I never spoke to. Mario’s king now and you’re here. Daisy—you know…” I never know in what way to regard Pauline anymore. I grew up with her—I knew her better than most people I knew now, but she was so much a part of Donk City. She was ingrained in it’s culture and they worshipped her for it. In these city limits she had more power than the Queen and King of Metro Kingdom. 

Pauline shrugged. “Maybe that’s not such a bad thing,” she says. “The world treated you like nothing. I know it did that to me. You’re better off here.” 

I nod to her. “Yeah, I suppose.” 

“What were you buying?” she asks glancing up the street knowingly. She holds her hands behind her back and bounces on her toes with a sly look in her eyes. “Something special?” 

What the fuck? Is there sign on my face? I unbutton the front pocket of my overalls and pull out the small black box. “It’s for Daisy. I just figure that it’s been a long time coming.”

“Yeah, that’s what every girl wants to hear: bitter acceptance,” Pauline sneers. 

“It’s not like that, you know what I mean. Why am I not already with Daisy? I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”

Pauline touches my shoulder. “I know. She makes you happy. And Daisy ain’t easy to deal with, let me tell you something.” 

“I don’t know. I find it easy to just be…me around her.”

“That’s what’s important. You lovebirds will be okay, I’m sure of it.” She leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “Tell Daisy I said hi and I better hear how this ring situation turns out, you hear me?” 

I nod and Pauline continues down the street waving back at me. 


	19. Troops

There’s a lot to keep track of—part of me knows it would be easier to break down and buy a damn computer to just start putting all of this stuff in spreadsheets. The wedding planning notes, the receipts for caterers and venues and performers: it’s always been done by hand with me. I just feel more comfortable that way. Maybe I’m just an old fashioned gal? 

Or maybe that’s the kind of thing boring idiots say when they don’t like technology. 

With this there’s a lot more moving parts. I never claimed to be a wartime strategist, but Bowser assures me it will all work out. In a way they’re sort of similar things: I plan parties and this is kind of like a party. Though no wedding I’ve ever planned as had a body count numbering into the tens of thousands. 

Still, I think this is doable. I mean, the numbers look good, well, from what I know about troop allotments. Twenty thousand is the magic number. That’s how many regular troops there are in Bowser’s—our—army. And that’s just your goombas, your Koopa Troopas, and your other day to day fighters. There are elite units: the specialists like the Lakitu Corps, the Hammer and Fire Bros, etc. There are Shy Guys and Snifts too, but we not that many of them. We can’t even count on support from the boos because fighting might involve being out in sunlight or people looking in their general direction.

But the real might lies with the air superiority. There are eighteen airships in the Koopa Kingdom arsenal that haven’t been downed or destroyed, including the flagship Doom Ship (terrible name, I know—I didn’t make it). There is the fear that we don’t know what we’re going into. Scouts have been sent into the Mushroom Kingdom and not returned. There’s very little information at all getting out and that has me worried. You never plan in a venue you haven’t seen and you probably shouldn’t fight in a place that you can’t scout if you can help it. 

The door opens a crack and a voice cuts into the room channeled through the narrow space left. “Dad wants to know what you’re doing in here.” It was Ludwig’s recognizable lisp, though I can’t see him anyone would know. 

“I’m working on the war that we’re all supposed to be very worried about,” I call over my shoulder. 

“Hariet? Are you—decent?” He asks.

“Yeah.” Honest mistake about a week back he and Wendy walked in on Bowser and I right after. Luckily it wasn’t two minutes earlier. They’ve mostly avoided us since, but my guess is Bowser sent him here to check on me due to how they’ve been acting. Okay, it is weird. They’re not his kids, but their war orphans he raised as his own—a little adopted family. Plus his one blood related son. I’m not sure how I feel about the single parent thing. 

Ludwig throws the door open, his clawed paw holding the knob as he stares in at me. “Dad says the food’s ready—if you’re ready to eat.” He scratches the blue mop of hair that covers the back of his head. 

“I’ll be right out.” 

Out. Bowser is outside in the courtyard of his castle hovering over a huge, metallic grill that sizzles and smokes. The air is thick with the smell of expensive cuts of meat. After so long with him I’ve started to notice the little things—he doesn’t want help doing the things that used to come easier. Right now he’s trying to tilt his head just slightly so that the only eye he has left is looking right at the meat. The depth perception thing is giving him trouble. 

“Let me,” I say as I take the tongs from his mitt and pinch down o the sides of the thick cut of steak near the center of the grill before transporting it to the darkened surface of the cutting board. 

Bowser makes a little sound in the back of his throat. “We can just eat them now.” 

“No we can’t. You’re supposed to let the meat rest half as long as you cooked it,” I explain. 

He grumbles something under his breath, but never gives a real answer. 

“You don’t want them to think we’re heathens, do you?” I ask. 

“Heathens! Heathens!” Bowser Junior charges through the court yard, weaving between half shattered stones. He comes to a halt, bouncing forward on the tips of his toes to slow himself down before Bowser bends down to scoop him up. The child is big, but nowhere near the size of his father.

When Bowser holds Junior, he regards his son with this sort of rough playfulness. He growls, but not a real growl. A pretend one. He pokes at Junior’s scaly belly until the child giggles before he hefts the boy up onto his shoulders. Junior rests his hands in the tuft of red hair on top of his father’s head. 

“Are you ready for some steak?” Bowsers words are still in that jovial tone. 

Junior nods. He leans down to look over the top of Bowser’s head into his eye. The eye that no longer exists. “Daddy, when is your eye going to be better?” 

Bowser freezes. Might as well tell the boy the whole truth. “It’s not.”

“Oh.”

“But you can bet your little ass that when the time comes your old man is going to take a lot more than eyes from the bastards who did this,” Bowser says.

* * *

* * *

The sensations are blinding and deafening all at once. It’s like my body is buzzing and it’s hard to breath or moan. Small sharp whimpers escape from somewhere deep in my chest, muffled against the bed as he thrusts down into me over and over.

His claws dig into my hips and his other hand grabs clump of my hair, twisting his hand up in it and punning my face to the bed. 

I’m at his mercy for these indeterminable amounts of time. Minutes, hours…it’s hard to tell. The light in the room is just what filters in from the magma pits outside—everything is painted a warm orange or maybe that’s just how I see things now. 

Bowser snout gets down alongside my ear as he speaks. “Have you had enough yet?” His voice is a sultry groan. The word practically sizzle as they leave his mouth. Okay, I want him to shred me up from the inside. He can have all of me. He can do whatever he wants. 

I can’t speak, I shake my head, my face still mostly buried in the bed and pillows. Nothing about this makes sense to me. I control Bowser’s everything after just a little over a month together and he trusts me with every part of himself. I’ve been called a control freak, but then why is this loss of control so…satisfying? 

One muscular claw catches me under the neck and he he pulls back, resting the other on the top of my head as he jerks my hair forcing me to arch my back deeper into the mattress. He’s close now, his weight pushing down on me, driving me into the bed. With a few triumphant thrusts he finishes inside of me. His weight is too massive now, I can’t move beneath him. I can’t breath. 

Then he rolls her off of me, leaving me to lay in the massive divot formed by the two of us panting and curled up. There’s a ringing in my ears and they twitch and jump every few seconds. My whole body is on edge and the fur that runs along the top of my spin is standing on edge. 

Bowser draws me in toward him and I shiver at his touch. He kisses my cheek, his mouth pressing in against my whiskers. “I love you,” he says in as soft a voice as he can manage. 

I nod, too shaken to speak. The room is buzzing and just feels brighter than it should. When he pulls me in close to him and tosses the sheets over us there’s this chill as his scales press into my fur. I’m ruined. If you ever leave me, Bowser, I won’t be able to make it on my own. I can’t make it without this. 

He’s stroking my hair now, kissing the back and sides of my neck and holding me close to him. The lava-glow filtering in through the window makes him little more than a silhouette against the large balcony window that faces out across the wasteland that is the Koopa Kingdom. 

“I’m scared. You’re going to really fight this war?” It takes so much just to say that. 

“Fighting is one of my best qualities,” Bowser says. “And no fight that I’ve helped those horrible plumbers with has gone anything but in our favor. When we’re allies we’re unstoppable.” He trails off. 

My breath catches in my throat as I rub my cheek against his forearm. “And you’re doing all of this for her?” 

He knows who I mean. “Don’t do this right now.” 

“I’m asking you a question. You’re bending over backwards for _Queen_ Peach. The whole world is following her into the depths of Hell. No one cares what it will do to them.” 

“We’re facing extinction if we do nothing,” Bowser said. “What would you have me do?” 

“Find another way? Stop the Ruin yourself if you have to!” 

“Are you jealous because of my past with her or is this about something else,” he asks. 

Something drops in the pit of my stomach. “I don’t know. Peach has been nothing but nice to me considering that I helped you kidnap her and fly her to the moon. But a lot doesn’t make sense—like why are those plumbers even so dedicated to her? Why is she a human woman running a kingdom that isn’t human? Why does Rosalina look…related to her?” 

“I inadvertently drew the Mario and that twerp brother of his to this world. I kidnapped them as babies—using time magic, which might have created a Casual Loop that led to them ending up here later in life and becoming a pain in my ass…” Bowser yawns and rests his face on my breast. 

“Ugh, hey don’t fall asleep there—you’re just going to snore and drool all over them!” I yell, but he’s already sleep. 

And he’s right to be. Tomorrow is the absolute last day we have for laying in our own filth like this. This next week is crucial and the Koopa war machine is going to kick into high gear. 

My brain is running through all of the things that I can think of to make him take this back. He can’t go—he can barely see how far he is from an object. What if I lose him? What if those kids of his lose their father? What then? Even that can’t keep my mind occupied for long and I drift away.


	20. Winter

“ _This is my winter song to you / The storm is coming soon / It rolls in from the sea / My voice: a beacon in the night / My words will be your light / To carry you to me._ ” - Winter Song by Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson

Across the sea from Metro Kingdom and a short airship ride from the vast land that Bowser calls home, the Mushroom Kingdom scrapes by. Their land has become darker since Peach left, as if it were here, not the sun and rain that kept the crops green and made the sky shine. 

The air is colder now and the night seems to be longer, but that could just be because the clouds don’t leave most days. Dark clouds that blot out the light and stretch as far as the eye can see. 

A kind of blight had befallen the whole of the countryside. Even some of the surrounding waters were viscous and dark. Marine life didn’t dare venture into them. 

In the seaside town of Amanita the boats had stopped going out days ago and most of the townsfolk didn’t leave their homes after dark—there was talk of shadowy beasts that roamed the streets. 

On this particular night, though there was a lone lantern moving through the dense fog that packed the alleyway. The distant sound of the sea helped to cover the footfalls of the short Mushroom person who made their way deeper into the alley. 

Lifting the lantern up so that she could see the handle of the door, Toadette fumbles with the keys for the door. Two figures pad up behind her as she speaks in a hushed tone. “We were beginning to think that no one was ever coming again,” she says in her shrill squeal of a voice. “The last few who came were killed.”

One of the figures, a smaller one with a dome shaped head perched atop a stalk where it’s little fit were, leaps into the air and kicks it’s feet as if trying to paddle through the fog. “Killed! By wha-what?” 

Toadette shrugs, her little pink bobble pigtails bouncing slightly as she gets the lock undone. “We’re not sure what’s going on. Some people are saying there’s things in the fogs attacking people and others claim that some were killed by their own loved ones.” 

“Bowser says that Peach says it’s the Ruin,” says the Goomba. 

“The Ruin? That’s just a silly kid’s story,” Toadette says. “How is she? Peach?” 

The taller of the figures that has followed here answers as they move through the door. “She’s married to Mario now and she’s been crowned Queen—“ says the Koopa Troopa. 

Toadette freezes, her small arms resting against the wall to support her little body. “She actually did it,” she says. “I’m so happy for her, but I don’t know how well it will go over with the others.” 

“The others?” Asks the Goomba. 

“The Toad Brigade and I are trying to use the layout of this land and our knowledge of the kingdom to our advantage and gather any intel we can. We don’t stand a chance against whatever this thing is in a head to head bout, but hit and run attacks and insurgency could work. If we could figure out what it is we’re fighting…” she says. 

“We’re here for support until the main force arrives—Bowser is going to literally rape the Ruin when he gets here. And Mario and his green brother will be coming too along with thousands of others,” said the Goomba. 

Toadette makes a face at his use of the word rape, but shakes it off. “Well, we need it.” Toadette says as she leads them through the back of a small pub that is emptied out, the lights are dim and the smell of ale is in the air is stale. 

No one has drank here in days. Oddly enough the further move into this place there’s a dull sound like voices talking in unison and speaking over one another until it’s almost white noise. “You guys never told me your names,” Toadette says. 

The Goomba did another little jump kicking his feet frantically. “I’m Strunk.” 

“They just call me White…on account of the shell,” he points back over his shoulder to the white turtle shell on his back. 

As they walk she leads them into the bathroom and up to a wall in the corner that seems to be a dead end. Toadette snickers to herself. “Cute names—I’m Toadette,” she says and this…” she throws open a flap of paper on the wall revealing a secret passage that empties into a large meeting hall. “…is everyone.” 

Hundreds of little Mushroom People eyes lock onto White and Strunk as they step out onto the wooden planks of the floorboards in this large room. They search the crowd, seeing all manner of toads. Some of them with purple or pink or red spots on their heads. Some of them have multi-colored spots or wear glasses or have bush mustaches. They’re frozen there for a moment. 

“It’s good news everyone!” Toadette yells over the crowd, motioning for them to settle down. “Strunk and White here have brought tales of our leader! Peach is alive and well, she’s leading a force…along with Bowser and some others here to meet up with the resistance,” Toadette says. “She has also been crowned queen.”

There was a flurry of sound that erupted throughout the room. Many of them seemed to be cheering while others were taken aback, shocked that such a thing had happened without the involvement of the people. They hadn’t been there to see their ruler become what she was born to be, what she was groomed to be. 

Toadette held her hands up to still the crowd. “Please—there will be time to discuss this all in a moment when the meeting is completed. The rest of the Toad Brigade should be returning in the next few days with the finale shipments of weapons. All of it will need to be ready to go when the main force gets here,” she explains. 

There’s a stir in the crowd as one of the toads stumbles out into the aisle between the rows of tables with his tiny fist clenched tight at his side. Thick, dark goop is running from under the cap of his head, covering his cheeks. More of it dribbles from his mouth as he yells. “The usurper shall fall. The Dark Disciples are still waiting. We are all around you!” He throws his fist in the air with a triumphant growl that sounds like nothing a Mushroom person should be able to manage. “Born of chaos; tempered in ruin!”

“What’s wrong? What happened to you Kent?” Toadette asks stepping toward him slowly as she tries to get a better look at what’s going on. 

Kent rents his shirt into two, tearing it right down the middle to reveal his chest all purple, with a glowing bulbous sack pulsing just above his heart. Veins fork over his body, spreading rapidly to the point that his skin starts to rupture. 

“He’s got some kind of virus!” Yells someone in the crowd. 

“Commander Toadette!” There’s another cry, though she doesn’t see who it comes from before all Hell breaks loose.

Three Mushroom people grab Kent and pull him back, trying to wrestle him to the ground and another tackles Toadette to the ground covering her with his body as they cower behind the podium. The room erupts in white light that spreads out from the spot where Kent was being held and most of the screams and shouting are snuffed out in an instant to be replaced by a ringing in her ears. 

She sees White and Strunk and then the light swallows them. There’s a thunderous noise and debris is crashing down all around them. Her skin burns and anywhere that’s exposed to the air and her eyes can’t readjust. The sound of falling rocks around her let her know that she has to get to safety or she’ll be trapped. This whole place will cave in. Something warm and wet is running down onto Toadette’s face and dress—who had tackled her to the ground? 

A metallic smell fills her nostrils and a second later some of it drops into her mouth. 

It’s clear now what it was: fresh blood and possibly melted skin is dripping onto her. Toadette screams and jostles the corpse away. She’s unable to see anything but white, the air around her has a burning oily smell. 

Toadette pushes up onto her hands and knees and retches, heaving until she vomits on the floor. Her small chest pumps as she tries to get it all up and there are tears in her eyes. She would sob, but more vomit forces her down to spew it out. 

A hand grabs hers. “This way. We have to get out of here!” It’s the gruff voice of White. He’s leading her somewhere. “I can’t see well,” White says. “But my shell blocked most of it—it was so bright.” 

White leads Toadette to a small hole in the wall, they push through the paper together and some of her eyesight is beginning to slip back in. Dark shapes have started to appear in the white void that is her line of sight. She hears someone weeping, but she’s too exhausted to cry. Her whole body trembles with pain. 

“Strunk’s dead. He’s—“ his words catch in his throat and he can’t get them out. 

The story she had heard is true. This thing, this Ruin, can turn loved ones against each other. She had known Kent for years, grown up with him. He wasn’t some spy—he had a family and he is gone. 

White manages to drag Toadette out into the what was the pub, though now the roof is completely gone and the night sky is above them. They fall over onto their backs. How many were lost in there? Couldn’t she do something about it? They were counting on her and the rest of the Toad Brigade to lead them. No one else had been there to help. 

The words had forgotten them and celebrated a new royal wedding. 

Something cold touches Toadette’s skin and she struggles to move her hand to touch it. It melts the moment she makes contact. 

“Winter’s here.” 

* * *

* * *

A dark tower hovers over the ruins of Peach’s castle, it’s spire stretching up into the nightime sky so high that you can almost see to the coast with ease. With the cloud cover and the moonless night there isn’t much to see, but something inside this tower knows there’s been an explosion. It can smell it. It can feel the pain from here. 

And she laps it up. 

The woman on the dark tower’s throne has Peach’s flawless pale skin and her big blue eyes. She has blonde hair, though it’s styled in a regal braid that wraps around her head like a crown. Her stern gaze is softens slowly as she takes in her latest work: the explosion in Amanita town. 

The Peach lookalike shrouded in the darkness of the tower smiles. 


	21. Omen

New York isn’t quite ready for me strutting around in a crown and fancy dress; I doubt that Mario and Luigi’s old friends are either. Tonight it’s a pink sundress with a red shrug since it’s a little cold out tonight. And for that extra touch to look more casual and carefree there’s the red tennis shoes with white trim that I got on one of my first visits to this world. I’m only thinking of my shoes because I am staring down at my feet. 

_Ranoosh_. The window sign has something that looks like a vase running along the side of the vertical text and the air smells like incense and fruit. Still not sure what it is exactly, but we’re doing something called _shisha_. It involves smoking a lot of smoke, which is something I don’t do anymore—when Daisy and I were in high school we would smoke cigarettes that we bought off this older kid at school because we thought it made us look older, but I stopped after like six months.

People around sit at tables with impressive glass apparatus in front of them. We haven’t gotten ours yet, but I’m watching other parties to get a better feel for what it is. Water goes in the base of it and there’s this long ornate hose coming out of the side near a metal tray at the top. A women at another table with dark red hair takes a drag on the hose. She exhales a ring of white smoke followed by a wispy cloud that flattens as it crosses the table in front of her. 

“You there, Dolcezza?” Mario leans down so that he’s more centered in my vision and waves his hand from side to side. A few of the others at the table giggle.

“Huh?” It takes me a second to process what he’s saying despite hearing him clearly. “Oh, yeah. It’s okay.” I pat him on the leg, but decide to leave my hand resting against the inside of his knee. I’m wedged between Pauline and Mario, Daisy got here a little after us so she and Luigi are to Mario’s other side. The rest of the table is virtually strangers—at least to me. My mind is half trying to listen to the conversation around me and half running over the names of the people we’ve met up with. Really no need to go over Pauline and Daisy, those are self explanatory. There’s one other woman, Darla, she’s a school teacher. Apparently Luigi had a crush on her when they were kids. Then there’s Aaron. He doesn’t live in the city full time and only comes back when he’s not working in the oil fields. Daune is a construction worker and finally there’s Geraldo—I forget what Geraldo does. 

This place is pretty dark with a strange purple light as the only source of illumination outside of the counter ares where the cash register is. Mario slides his hand in between the chair and the small of my back. Okay, so he can tell something is wrong with me? Does he know what it is? 

“So I can see why Mario likes you—or hear rather,” Aaron leans down to say over the low chatter of people in the background and the sound of the radio coming through the cafe speakers. “Most women never shut up, but you’ve hardly said a word.” 

Out of the corner of my eye I see Daisy tense up, she wants to say something and I can see it in her face as she bites her bottom lip and turns quickly to stare at the man behind the cash register at the front. I have to carefully consider myself here; I’ve never been the snarky witted type like Daisy and these people don’t know me. Even with the low level of rudeness I’m capable of, it’s going to come off making me seem un-fun and mean. There is something else I can do. 

“Oh. Sorry, were you talking to me?” I ask. 

“Yeah—never mind,” Aaron says. 

I tug Mario toward me, kissing the side of face before turning to glance up at Aaron. “I just get distracted so easily when I’m bored.” 

“Good girl, Peach, don’t give him the time of day,” says Pauline. “The rest of us really don’t.” A round of laughter erupts from most of the rest of the group, save Luigi who seems oddly confused by it all. 

We stay gathered around the small table together for a while before a waitress comes to take our order. She explains what hookah is, probably for my benefit. It’s basically tobacco that’s been treated na flavored to be sweet or yummy and then it’s smoked during socializing or to relax. Everyone tells me to just share with Mario, but I don’t really want the kind of flavor that he’s prone to pick. 

“I’ll have a cherry, no—double cherry please.” Mario and I often have different ideas about what tastes good. 

When the hookah comes out I am rewarded with something a little closer to the raw cherry flavor than I expected, but I still like it. There’s a wild authentic quality to it that you tend not to get in juices that are only cherry inspired. The first drag on it pulls so much smoke into my body that I hack and cough like I am drowning. Mario pats my back and I can barely make out him asking if I am okay. 

“I’m fine.”

“It’s a bit much to take in the first time,” Darla says. “Just pull in enough to fill your mouth and exhale until you feel more comfortable with the whole thing.” 

Daisy reaches for my hose. “Let me try,” she says. “Catch your breath for a second.” She sucks on the hose to the point that the sound of the air rushing through it and the water bubbling in the base is all that I can hear over everything going on around me. Just looking at the thing I am guessing that the smoke is pulled down from the top—there’s a thing that seems to have something hot inside. The smoke goes down the middle and into the water as some kind of filter and then is pulled out through the hose on the side. The whole thing is pretty clever and cool. 

A billowing push of smoke comes out of Daisy’s mouth and extends over the table to join the other clouds being blown by the others. My fingers find Mario’s hand at my side and I pull it up into my lap and clutch it there. This is…jarring. I’m not in the position of power because I can’t just say that I am the Princess. People are going to treat me like a normal woman and that’s what I have always think I wanted. That’s why I like Mario and Luigi so much, they just treat me like me, but it feels weird to be in the middle of a group of people doing it like this. 

This is the role I never expected to play: the doting girlfriend to a working class man. The quiet, pretty piece of arm candy that he shows off to his friends. I know Mario doesn’t see it that way and he doesn’t even mean for it to look like that, but that’s what his friends expect. At least that is what I think they would expect. 

He moves to nuzzle the side of my face, rubbing his mustache against my cheek and causing me to giggle out of turn. Aaron and Geraldo are looking at us in a curious sort of way. 

Daisy hands the hose to me and I take it, choosing to pop it back into my mouth and take another drag. This time I go slower, pulling the smoke in with my chest more carefully this time. When I feel that I have taken in enough I exhale through my mouth. At first it’s just in my arms—there’s this creeping warmth that works its way up my body. Soon my whole form is tingly and prickly with this subtle heat. A sort of haze falls over my head and it feels like the light and color around me streak. 

“You light headed?” Asks Geraldo. “There’s a bit of nicotine in this and you get a buzz from it. It’ll pass in a minute.” 

I nod. “Yeah, that tastes pretty good. Everywhere should have one of these places.” I turn to Mario. “Ooo—we should open one of them back home…” I catch myself. “Eh, running a new business is nothing to jump right into. What am I saying?” 

This stuff is having some kind of effect on me. There’s dizziness now and that warm feeling has spread throughout my whole body. For some reason I take another drag and blow it out. I get a fun little idea as everyone around me goes back to talking about…something. Their words fall into a massive haze of light and sound. 

“Mario,” I tap on his arm before sucking a massive cloud into my mouth. He turns just in time for me to press my lips to his. My mouth opens against his enough for me to blow the smoke into him. As I feel the last bit of leaving my mouth there’s a harsher bitter taste to it now. I bite his lip playfully and pull away. 

The smoke drifts out of Mario’s agape lips. “That’s an idea we haven’t tried before.” 

I turn my body so only our knees are touching. “Really? It kind of came to me.” 

He kisses me again. 

“Damn, Mario—are you sure you’re not paying her?” Aaron asks. “If so, who do I have to talk to about hooking me up?” He leans down over the table, pushing his elbow into Daune’s side as if to elicit some kind of response from him. No one laughs at this or does anything but look nervously around until Daisy, with her hands poised on Luigi’s shoulder and chest pushes out a cloud of smoke and says. “I remember you making the same joke about us and I also recall overhearing you crying to your ex-girlfriend about your little pecker not working. Maybe that’s why you think everyone has to pay for it?”

Luigi’s fingers tighten on Daisy’s shoulder. “Hey-yeah Aaron, that’s not the kind of thing you should be saying about, Peach or Daisy, okay?”

“Whatever. I gotta go take a piss.” Aaron rose from the table, loudly pushing his chair aside with his legs and headed across the room toward the bathroom.

“He’s tried to fuck me and Darla multiple times when he got drunk and he even hit on Daisy one of the first times he met her. Not sure why we keep including him,” Pauline says. 

“It seems rude not to,” Darla says with a shrug. 

“He’s a fucking creep. Didn’t he make some horrible rape joke like ten minutes after meeting me?” Daisy asks. 

Geraldo nods. “If it even was a joke. He said something about raping a prostitute because she took his money when he was overseas and then went on to compare it to paying for a sandwich and not getting it and hopping behind the counter to make your own…and rape the girl working there.” 

Daisy looks at Darla. “Don’t make excuses for someone like that. I mean, you can hang out with him if you want, but I’m not okay with rape jokes or people calling me a prostitute like it’s some kind of joke to make fun of sex workers while at the same time trying to dump on my boyfriend because he would have to pay for me or some shit.” Daisy’s voice goes shrill. “Luigi is, like, the best thing to ever happen to me and he’s totally worth being with and any woman would be lucky to have him.” She sucks in a short puff of smoke and lets it out. “The same thing is true for Peach and Mario—I know her. So I don’t find it funny to call my boyfriend worthless.”

This isn’t part of the act that I am supposed to be putting on or whatever. I don’t need to pretend to be into Mario or to want him. Maybe that’s what Aaron was hinting at about Mario paying me—the level of affection we show might seem fake to some, but it’s just me. I’ve been chaste around Mario, much to my own dismay, due to how other rulers will judge it or what the people of my kingdom might think. That’s not me. Daisy is more out there and loud, that’s not me either. But I wanted Mario just as much as he wanted me. Why did I wait so long?

“Daisy,” Luigi says touch her chin.

“Don’t try to calm me down, Luigi, you know I hate that shit. It’ll be fine.” 

“Daisy…” Luigi goes into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He opens the wallet and pulls out small plastic baggy holding a diamond ring. “I wasn’t sure when it would be the right time to give this to you, but…”

“Stop. Of course it’s a yes, you fucking idiot.” Tears well up in her eyes and she looks to me and the others at the table embarrassed. “You had to do this now when I look like a shit and I’m bleeding out of the snatch for the next few days and emotional and make me cry in front of your friends and the waiter and…oh my God.” She wipes the tears from her eyes and rips into the bag to put the ring on. 

“I just wanted to share this with as many people as we could…” Luigi says. 

Daisy shakes her head and then kisses him. “I can’t even thank you properly, unless you’re up for really messy period sex. We’re talking Koopa Civil War levels buckets of blood.” 

“It’s nice to see Daisy is always gross,” Pauline says. 

“What’s a Koopa?” Asks Daune. 

Luigi and Daisy snap a selfie to commemorate the occasion even though none of us would ever forget it. The rest of the night is just amazing fun. We danced and drank a little and smoked some more. After hours of smelling Mario and his body against mine I suggested that we go check on Aaron. He had never come back from the restroom and honestly I didn’t care, but I needed to get him away. In the dim lighting of the single person bathroom I cornered Mario and slipped out of my top. We couldn’t do much here—I didn’t want any part of me that wasn’t my shoes to touch this floor—but he ran his tongue over my breasts, taking them into his mouth and pressing them against my body with his face. And I squatted down, being sure to keep my balance, and took him into my mouth for a hasty, sloppy few minutes of him trying not to moan too loud or press his back against the grungy wall. 

A bit of it got into my hair and down my cheek onto my shoulder. He helps me wash up in the sink. “What prompted that?” Asks Mario, still catching his breath.

“I wanted you inside of me and that was the easiest way to do it. Do I need to have a reason?” I ask. He doesn’t answer. “We can finish up later if you want, at the Brooklyn apartment.” 

“You miss coming over at all?” He asks. 

“It’s been weeks and maybe a little bit. I miss shopping with Luigi and cuddling with you in that awful bed you still have. I miss taking time off from all this war stuff to be us.” 

“After the war we’ll still be here. No one is going anywhere, except maybe Rosalina since she always vanishes, but you’ll still have your friends. You’ll still have your creepy stalker Bowser, you’ll still have me,” he says so confident that I almost believe him. 

“But the war could take anything away from me. It could take you That’s why…as High Queen and Empress I forbid you from entering combat for me. You’re to rule by my side, not…fight my wars.” 

“Wait just a minute Peach, you can’t do that!” 

“Why…why the Hell not? I’m still the boss of you. I’m the boss of everyone.” My chest feels like it’s going to explode, like I might vomit or just pass out. 

“What’s all this now?” Asks Mario. “Why are you being like this?”

“Because if I lose you everyone will see what an awful woman I am. Everyone will know I’m selfish and broken and I’ll be no good to anyone. I’m not prepared to rule without you or to go on functioning without you, so will you for the sake of your people promise me that you’ll stay out of this one?” 

“No. Someone tried to kill my wife. My fucking wife, you! They almost killed Daisy twice and Bowser one time and they dropped a goddamn castle on your head. I won’t stay out of it, I want to see this motherfucker roast.”

I shake my head. “I see. I just thought that you were fighting because it was the right thing to do. It’s okay to be selfish. We’re allowed to be selfish. Be selfish, please this once!” 

“I am!” He hollered throwing his arms back. “I don’t give a shit about what ruin did to the kingdom. I want him dead because he tried to hurt you, Peach.”

“Well, vengeance doesn’t suit either of us, does it?” I ask. “I suppose I can’t stop you, but you can’t stop me. This is my fight. The Ruin wants me, so I have to go to it.”

“Oh, so it’s good for thee and not for me, then is it?” Mario asks. “How come you get to risk your life to fight this thing but I can’t?” 

“I’m panicking, okay?” I yell. “I’m not a wartime ruler, I wasn’t-wasn’t made for this! I know I’ll probably die, but I want to make sure something of me survives. The people who love me.” 

Mario grabs me around the shoulders. “I love you enough to face this with you. If you die doing this so do I.” 

“That’s the compromise we’re coming to then?” I ask.

“Smithy, Tatanga, Count Bleck and Dimentio—we’ve dealt with high level threats before. Bowser destroyed the universe on mistake that time, but it got better. We can deal with this and will deal with this together.” He kisses me on the head and we stand embracing for a long time. 

“You okay in there?” Pauline asks through the door. 

“Yeah.” I answer. 

“Well come out. These beers are running right through me!” Pauline shouts.

Mario and I laugh and leave the restroom hand and hand. We’re heading back to the apartment so I can make good on my promise. Luigi and Daisy are cuddled up on the couch and we congratulate them before leaving. 

As we get outside after paying it’s drizzling and a familiar voice calls to us. “Hey, it’s the newly engaged couple.” There’s the sound of hooves under cutting the voice, but it’s clear. 

We turn to see the horse drawn carriage from the night I proposed slowing down right off to our side, the horses taking on a trotting gait. 

“It was Jeff, right?” Asks Mario.

“Yeah, how’d you remember?” Jeff asks.

“Just a memorable night, but we’re married now. We already tied the knot,” Mario adds. 

Jeff chuckles. “I’m closing it up for the night, but this calls for a celebration, where are you kids headed?” 

“Home—to his apartment,” I explain. 

“Well, in honor of your special occasion and change in Facebook relationship status, how about I give you a free ride home?” Jeff asks.

A big smile flashes across my face. “I’d be delighted!” 

Jeff hopped down to help me up. “Come on, up you go. I think I remember the way, Peach and ummm…”

“Mario,” Mario says. 

“Sorry, pretty lady like that with a name like hers you tend to remember,” Jeff says as he is climbing back into the front seat of his carriage. The horses let out a little noise as he directs them out into the damp Brooklyn street. It was raining that night too, the night we were last in this carriage, the night we first—well first did a lot of things. Maybe it’s some kind of omen. My worrying is all for nothing and I’m destined to win, destined to triumph over Ruin because that’s the first thing any Toadstool Queen ever did. 

I lay my head against Mario and have a little waking dream, a dream of a great peace. Mario’s right, I know we can do this. 


	22. After

The last time someone saw their home before it burned to the ground around them is the kind of thing that you would expect them to remember the exact date and time for, but the funny thing is I didn’t. My kingdom was in my heart and it was a part of me in all of the things I did, but I had made the effort to forget that terrible day. 

Seeing the castle in the morning light was almost too much. Mario and I stood at the front of the Doom Ship as fire streams of jet black magic arced up into the sky. The ship vibrated as we took a hit here and there, the protections Kamek and Rosalina worked to put in place seemed to hold. With the castle in sight it felt like we might make it there before the ship was downed. 

At the top of the castle where the stain glass mosaic that had been placed in the steeple as a gift for my sixteenth birthday, there was a pile of debris that rose up in a too perfect spire. Rock and stone blackened by the heat of fires cast down by the force of Ruin itself had been reshaped into a towering obelisk which something resided in. My hand touched Mario’s, grasping for something to hold as the wind blew hot across the deck of the ship. 

It was weird being addressed as the commander of a ship that had been used countless times to bomb my kingdom and kidnap me. Bowser and his adopted children had joined a ground contingent of mushroom people that were led by Toadette in taking back the cities in our path and knocking out any defenses that Ruin set up against areal attacks. The grass had gone brown and dried out, from up high I could see the cracks in the ground where the lack of rain had starved the very soil of moisture—my being gone had caused this? Without me the Mushroom Kingdom ceases to have vitality. 

And it was in my stead that the defenses Ruin put in place were raised; huge spikes of obsidian-like rock jutting up from the ground that fired energy the color of the deepest night at anything approaching from the sky. 

A sound behind me alerted me to someone entering the observation deck. When I whirled around to see who was there it was a goomba with an open book sitting atop its head. It hopped twice and then charged across the deck towards us, balancing the book with more grace than any goomba should have possessed. 

“Your liege,” he said in a gruff voice. “We’ve found something that might interest you.” 

Mario turned to look, his hand finding my back just where the ribbon pulled the middle of my dress tight around my waist. “What is it?” 

“It looks like a chronicle from the Koopa historian Karmile,” I explained as I squatted down to take the book off of the goomba’s head. “Thank you. Yeah—he was the premier historian at a university that stood in the old Koopa Capital, the war reduced it to rubble along with most of the rest of the city.” 

“His excellency had some things saved from the turmoil and copied. This is of course a reproduction of the original,” said the goomba. “The passage you need is half way down the right side, fourth paragraph.” 

The Doom Ship rocked slightly as another blast of anti-air defenses exploded into a midnight colored cloud off to our side. My eyes found the words the goomba must have wanted me to see. “I don’t understand.” I read the passage again to try and make sense of it. 

“It says here that the Toadstool, the original Empress Peach Toadstool couldn’t ever produce a body for the King of Ruin, that people in the wake of her defeating him wondered if he had ever been a thing,” I said. 

“There’s a school of thought that says she made the story up to take advantage of the weakened state of the kingdoms,” said the goomba. 

I shut the book, holding my thumb inside to keep it from losing the page. “Yeah, you see my people aren’t from this land and the Mushroom Kingdom had a different king before, a king that was a mushroom person. He was murdered by Ruin and when Peach Toadstool the First defeated him, she was promised dominion over the Mushroom Kingdom as a home as long as she lived.” 

Mario blinked, seemingly taken aback by this new bit of information. “That explains why you’re not three free tall with a mushroom for a head, but where did your people come from?” 

“Toadstool is just the name we took to honor our new lineage. We were actually peasants more than likely, from the Kingdom of Ruin—not much is known about my ancestors early years.” I glared at the goomba. “I’ve heard this rumor before. Why did you bring this to me?” 

The goomba glanced to his side, looking up at me with a renewed confidence. “Our reports have said that there isn’t a King of Ruin and this book is kind of proof the whole thing might be a mad tale spun by a woman who conned the world.” 

“Hold your tongue,” I stomped my foot down on the deck. “You’ll want to think real hard on what you accuse my family of—what you accuse me of endorsing…”

“Your most high highness, this isn’t an accusation against you for anything you stand for,” the goomba groveled. “It’s a confession that we don’t know what really attacked you! What if something is pretending to be the Ruin to strike fear…” 

“It’s the Ruin for sure,” Rosalina said from the other side of the observation deck. She had been so silent getting on her arrival that I didn’t know she was there until she spoke. Her face was paler than normal and she seemed to be tired, something I wasn’t sure I had ever seen her be. “I have foreseen it as such. My sight doesn’t miss anything,” she added. 

“Then what does he look like?” Asked Mario. 

“Things turn out better if you see for yourself. I’ve tried the other ways. I’ve tried everything.” She turned her head to look off the side of the ship. “This is the only way things turn out remotely good, trust me.”

The look in her eye for a moment when Mario’s gaze met hers there was an expression I had never seen Rosalina show: it looked like fear. Not even the regular kind of fear, the kind of fear that a child expressed at the thought of an angry parent. What was she not telling me? Had she done something wrong? 

“Just a bit further,” Mario said as he turned his back on Rosalina, he glanced over his shoulder one more time at her before leaning against the hand railing. “It feels like this was easier than it should be. I’m still not convinced it’s not a trap.” 

Rosalina spoke again, stepping a little closer to her father and I. “We did just what we needed to. The armies of the other kingdoms and the mushroom people split the Ruin’s power. It can control a lot of area at once, but it also can’t focus on just us if people are all over fighting against it.”

“What’s to keep it from pulling back in an effort to take us on head on?” I asked as the goomba shuffled away. 

“Pride. It’s pride embodied and that willful disregard for reason will cause it to lose the day,” Rosalina said. 

The castle was closer now, the moat was bone dry and the ground had split open around it and near the front bridge. The grounds around my castle were blackened, the burnt place glistening in the sunlight. A deep breath was all I could do to keep from crying. “Bring us around the spire so that it’s on the port side,” I barked across the deck manned by Koopa Troopers and goombas. “Someone fetch Geno and Luigi, tell them that we’re there.” 

Mario glanced behind us at the path we had just flown. “Daisy’s airship should be here soon, she left right behind us…” 

“They took heavier fire, but their ships are well armored. I’m sure the bombardment just slowed her down,” I said. I’m not ready to think my friend could have died again. In truth Luigi and I had conspired to send her on that ship. It was slower and bulkier, harder to destroy, but there was no way she was keeping up with us. Perhaps we could resolve this before she’s even here and without putting her in danger. Daisy was tough, but she didn’t belong on a battlefield. 

Really, neither did I, but what choice did I have?

The hull of the ship creaked and shuddered as the Doom Ship banked to one side to circle around the spire that rose above my castle. It was plain to see when we were so close that it didn’t actually come out of the ground or my castle, but floated above it like a craggy tower of black glass. 

“It’s made of the same stuff,” Mario muttered. 

In the air around the tower there were bits of the glass floating, suspended in midair next to the structure as if the raw energy of its creation had locked them there. I reached out to grasp one as the Doom Ship passed, it didn’t budge as my fingertips brushed across it. 

“Shit, you really could ask for a place that screams evil baddie lives here anymore? And I thought Bowser was bad…” Luigi walked out onto the center of the deck with his hat held between his hands and Geno following behind. “I suppose this is it?” Luigi said. 

“It is.” Rosalina said. “By day’s end the Mushroom Kingdom will be under the control of its rightful ruler.” 

Mario punched a fist into his hand. “I like those odds!” 

“Don’t celebrate just yet,” Geno said. “There’s still the matter at hand—we’re not sure what we’re heading into, so watch yourselves.” 

“Rosalina just said she’s seen it all, I’m sure that she can share a bit of tactical info,” Mario said. 

“It doesn’t work like that—it can’t, I’m sorry,” she said. 

“I’m sure you have your reasons,” Mario said. 

I hung back, letting Luigi and Geno press forward and grabbing Rosalina by the arm and tugging her back through the crowd. “Why are you being so cagey?” 

“Look, mother, it’s complicated. You’ll understand soon,” she whispered. 

“What does that mean?” I asked. “Look, I trust you because that’s what family does and I can feel inside of myself you’re my family,” I glanced toward Mario to make sure he didn’t hear. “I’ve kept your secret. I’ve believed in you and gone to bat for you. So is there anything you want to tell me?” 

“Only one thing that I can—you shouldn’t be so quick to trust family,” Rosalina said before heading down the steps and off of the observation deck. The Doom Ship was pulling in tight against the spire. 

Mario hefted a hammer up from the deck beside the forward mast, examining it in the light. It was the metallic spiked hammer he had taken after we wiped out Smithy. He closed the gap between himself and Luigi and raised the hammer up high, with his elbow aimed at his brother. “What did we used to say?” 

“If the brothers can’t cork your leak…” Luigi started touching his elbow to Mario’s. 

“…we’ll put our cocks in it!” Mario finished the line.

“Lovely,” I said. 

“Hey, when we were young and just starting out with plumbing we thought that shit was funny, sorry you married a man-child,” Mario said mockingly. 

“No, no…I’m sorry you married a prudish, stuck up bitch,” I said. 

The whole nearby deck erupted in laughter, goombas, turtles, our friends. This felt _right_ , so why did I have this pit in the center of my stomach?

* * *

* * *

We crowded into the tower spire with the troops from the ship piling in behind us. Mario and I led the way with Luigi, Rosalina and Geno right behind us. The walls and floors sparkled like black glitter. With every step we took the floor crunched beneath our feet like bits of broken glass. 

Luigi stopped in the entryway to turn back toward us. He shuffled backwards staring up at the point of the spire above us. From the interior the black substance that formed the tower looked more like coral or dried veins woven together in close knit strands. The light from the sun filtered down through the small gaps in the castle to create this eerie purple light. 

“Um, P-p-princess? This wasn’t here before, right?” Asked Luigi. 

“Almost definitely not,” I said. 

There was a noise like something fibrous rubbing against itself. The goombas and Koopa Troops spread out around us, brandishing their hammers and barring their fangs. Luigi backed toward us, cupping his hands around his mouth to help his voice carry. “Hello, anybody home?” 

“What are you doing?” Asked Mario. 

“Presumably Ruin knows we’re here. We took all this time to launch a D-Day style attack—it had to see this coming,” said Luigi. 

The floor trembled and the floors around us rose up, leaving us in a little crevice as it cut us off from the goombas and troops. Mario grabbed hold of me. “Stay close,” he said, flattening his hands against the front of my dress. 

There was a wet snap and a blood curdling scream followed by another. Somewhere past the shimmering wall of blackness I could hear someone begging for their life. Something was picking the soldiers off. I spun around, clutching Mario’s hands behind my back. Rosalina and Luigi pressed in close to us, there was so little space left for us that it became hard to breathe. 

“Where’s Geno?” I asked frantically as I realized we were short one person. “Did anyone see him?” 

“He was right here next to me,” Luigi said. 

“Don’t fret,” Geno’s voice came from somewhere high up, I craned my neck upward to see him crouched on a little outcropping like a caped gargoyle. 

I sighed. “At least you made it, there’s nothing we can do for them, there’s a path through her, clearly someone wants us to go this way,” I said trying to push through the slender space that lead forward. Mario followed right behind me with the others. As we squeezed through the coarse walls scratched at my skin and snagged on my dress. The walls began to offer a bit more space further along. I’m able to turn to the side and slip carefully between the jagged rocks. 

Something warm wafted past me on the wind, wrapping itself around my form like a thick vine made of air. I froze, gazing up toward the ceiling. 

“What is it?” Asked Mario. 

“I don’t know—there’s something there, but it just feels so familiar. It’s nothing really,” I explained. “Let’s move on.” 

We pressed through the darkness of the crevice until it emptied out into a wide room lined with columns of brittle black glass. It seemed impossibly big from the inside, like from what we had seen when we approached it in the sky it shouldn’t have been more than a small thing. 

Then there I was standing in the middle of massive room that reached up further and further to the upper echelons of the spire. Mario and Luigi stepped out behind me, Mario grabbing for my hand as Rosalina and Geno emerged together. 

“Peach. Peach, look,” Mario said. He was off to my side and facing the opposite direction, someone laughed in a deep, but distinctly feminine voice. 

I spun around to face whoever this was…to face who I assumed to be Ruin, but I came face to face with a woman who looked remarkably like me. It was hard to see where her body ended against the mass of the black chair, her dress seemed to be made of the same material this palace was. Her skin was too white, like she was missing the rosy warm hue that any normal human would have. And her hair was long and hung down in tangled curls that cascaded off of the sides of the chair and was caught between her back and the chair. 

“It’s good to finally meet you, Princess,” she said through blackened lips. 

“Who are you?” Geno asked. 

“Ruin. The King of Ruin—to hear history tell it,” she said. “But the Princess knows at least one of my other names.” 

“Peach Toadstool the First, Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom,” I said. “And it’s Queen now.” I held up my hand to indicate the signet and wedding rings. 

She laughed. “You’ll wish it wasn’t,” she said rising from the chair in a slow fluid motion. “By now someone must have figured it out, right?” She asked. 

“You’re the original Ruin, the evil side of the Toadstool bloodline that was destroyed when your good half made a pact with a god,” Rosalina said. 

“Oh, that’s very good. Exactly correct, I like her. Who is she again?” Ruin asked pointing a long glistening red nail at Rosalina. 

Mario and Luigi glared at her, seemingly upset and taken aback by this withheld information. Rosalina mouthed an apology to them as she passed through the group, forcing her way to the front of us all and standing defiantly in front of me as if to shield me from whatever she knew to be next. 

“You don’t know who I am, but I know who and what you are and I’ve seen how this ends countless times. No matter what you do here, the time of Ruin has finished,” Rosalina’s voice boomed. A hint of electricity crackled through the teal of Rosalina’s eyes and she stood taller and taller until I realized that it was her floating up into the air with her toes aimed at the ground. I hadn’t noticed it; the last several weeks had been stressful to say the least, but Rosalina hadn’t been levitating since saving Daisy. Whatever had been expended then returned. Her skin caught a hint of light that made it glow as her dress billowed around her. She slid her palms past each other, forming a vertical line in the air and then moving her hands around in an opposing circular motion until they were on opposite ends of the initial line. There was a soft click like the hands of a clock locking into place. 

Ruin’s form stiffened and she pulled against the ground trying to lift her foot though she seemed rooted in place. “What is this power—you’ve been hiding yourself from me, but it won’t be enough.” 

Ruin struggled against the tension in the air until I could feel her fighting to move where I stood. She brought her hands up, crossing them at the wrists and gesturing frantically through a series of finger Mudra with blinding speed. 

Rosalina matched her gesture for gesture. I recognized some of them from my own magical schooling, but they were bracketed by blurs incomprehensible motion. Whether Rosalina was able to do this because she knew the particular spell being attempted or because she remembered it from a previous incarnation of this event was hard to say. The force between the two of them trying to magically outmaneuver each other grew so strong that the air started to swirl around the room like a huge vortex. 

Luigi grabbed Mario at the shoulder for support, but lost his hat in the process. With his knees bent and his head tilted down Mario managed to clamp a hand down on his own hat and brace himself for both their sakes. 

“You—you’re the reason that the Sarasalian mutt isn’t dead, you nearly drained yourself saving her,” Ruin said as the final set of gestures were completed. She sighed inwardly as if a great burden had been lifted from her body; whatever Rosalina had done to her had ended. 

“Don’t talk about Daisy like that!” Luigi yelled, his voice cracking with rage. 

“Everyone calm down,” Geno said. “She wants us off balance. She wants us mad. The last thing we need to do is give her an advantage.” 

“Oh this is just for my amusement. I take my advantages when I want!” Ruin aimed her hand out at Geno and a bolt of purple energy struck him in the chest. His legs buckled and he went limp, crumpling to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut. 

“What did you do to him?” Mario asked tightening his fist until his knuckles were white and the veins showed through. 

Ruin sauntered across in front of us. “Oh the star-man wasn’t from around here. This conflict has nothing to do with him so I sent him back where he came from. I hear the trip can be…disorienting, I wouldn’t expect to see him for a while.”

“That’s it. Take her!” Mario motioned to Luigi as he spoke and the two of them dashed past me as quick as they could. 

“Wait…” I tried to grab hold of them, to stop them, but they were too fast. 

With their hammers poised for attack they bounded toward Ruin, Mario squatted down holding his hammer out in front of himself with the flat surface facing up. Luigi jumped onto the hammer with Mario lifting up with his full strength to fling his brother forward and up. Luigi brought his own hammer back over his shoulder, readying himself to swing down into Ruin’s face.

Luigi came within just inches of her when he hit a kind of magic barrier that protected her like a huge dome. Ruin smirked before giving a nonchalant flick of her hand that tossed Luigi across the room toward Mario. 

Acting quickly, I lunged forward with my hands outstretched, moving them in the way my mother and mentors had taught me to take hold of the essence of magic that permeated everything around us. I slowed Luigi just in time, catching him before he hit Mario and lowering him to the floor and onto his feet safely. 

“You’re rusty and not well disciplined. You’ll regret not being more prepared,” Ruin said. 

An explosion of light and sound caused everything to go blurry. I could hear Rosalina, but I couldn’t make out her words. The next thing I knew I was tumbling to the ground and Ruin was standing in my chest, I tried to breathe, but her weight left me little to no room to draw in the air. She grabbed the front of my dress slamming me back against the floor of the throne room. 

I tried to turn away, to protect my face. Mario, Luigi, and Rosalina were so far away. Sharp pain pulled my attentions back to Ruin. Her claws dug into my chest, cutting through my shirt and sending flames of pain through my skin. I winced, trying to hold in the scream. Ruin pulled her claws out and jabbed at me a few more times, sticking her claws right through me. 

She pulled me up, squatting over me with her face close to mine. The others were running, Rosalina’s wand was raised and they were screaming, but all I could hear was Ruin. “Do you know why you’re so unable to do anything—that god severed me off from you. Everything that was brave and reckless was stripped away and what we have left is you. The timid, child of a woman who clings to the traditions I set up to cover my crimes against this world.” 

Rosalina’s voice echoed through the throne room as if it was coming from everywhere. “Meteor Rain!” Tiny bits of debris in the air fell like snowflakes around me and Ruin, linking together to form bigger chunks until they were plummeting down on Ruin, slicing at her face and chest and arms. 

She stumbled off of me, losing her footing in the distraction cast by Rosalina. Mario used this as a chance to pull me to my feet. “Are you okay?” He asked. 

I nodded. “A little scared to heal—it feels like I might need everything I have for this,” I said. 

Ruin cackled, throwing her arms out and sending a wave of energy outward that destroyed the meteor spell and shook the entire spire. She waved her fingers and tentacles of black wormed their way up from the ground around us, all of them taking aim at Rosalina. 

Rosalina was amazing. She jumped to the side, spinning with the gracefulness of an ice skater to dodge the first attack. Before she landed she let out a line of sparkles that rained down forming a curtain of semi-opaque light that deflected two tentacles and hacked another off in mid air. She landed with a flourish of her wand, conjuring ghostly stars all around her and sending them whizzing toward Ruin. 

The moves forced both of them to dodge the other’s attack at the same time and leaving them without much control over their own. I took this as my chance, summoning up everything I had inside of me to make my counter attack. I was no Rosalina and Ruin definitely had me beat, but without anyone to see what I was doing I was free to take my time. 

My finger tips touched in the specific sequence necessary: ring-left to pointer-right, pink to pinky, middle-left to ring-right, thumbs to palms. I twisted the fingers of my right hand around in the air above my left like I was mixing batter in a bowl. As the air resistance against my hand became more palpable the heat of a fireball formed off to my side. The fire grew larger and it’s center whiter and hotter with each slow revolution of my hand until I forced it out toward Ruin, pushing my palms out flat in her direction.

Mario and Luigi, taking the hint rushed in behind the fireball. It struck Ruin’s upper body and threw her off balance, though she still managed to dodge Rosalina. 

Then the hammers Mario and Luigi carried slammed into her sending her bouncing across the room. Her skin cracked like glass with each impact as she skipped over the blacked floors. 

Ruin pushed herself up into a kneeling position while the black smoke leaked from a divot just above her right eye and another spot on the side of her abdomen. “A valiant effort, but when I’m done murdering your allies and citizens I will finish this here with a decisive victory. Even with my attentions spread thin, there’s one trick I have up my sleeve you aren’t prepared for,” Ruin said. 

“Peach,” Rosalina called out. “Peach, no matter what happens remember, we did all we could.” 

My heart sank into my chest like a stone, pulling down into the pit of my stomach with that hollow, uneasy kind of worry. Ruin’s body split open down the sides of her stomach and tentacles of black energy unfurled from within her, tentacles that belonged to something much too massive to occupy her human form. The thing spread like a shadow over one entire side of the room and fired out lightning like beams that zapped Luigi and Mario in the chest, knocking them to the ground. 

“Oh goodness, no.” I went to run for them and Rosalina grabbed me at the waist. 

“Wait, wait they’re not dead!” She warned. “Look!” 

Luigi sat up first, his eyes whited out with strange energy. Black sludge was around his lips like drool. He looked to Ruin first and then at me, there was a vacant expression on his face. “Yes my, Queen,” he said absently before taking a lumbering step toward me. 

“Rosalina, what do I do?” I asked. 

“You can’t slow them down too much, not without permanently damaging the host or worse,” she said. 

“Are you sure?” 

“There’s a dead body at the bottom of the East River because you and Daisy handled the last possessed person your way…” Rosalina said. 

“Wait…how do you know that?”

“From an alternate future, remember?” Rosalina said.

“Then what do we do?” 

Rosalina pulled me stumbling toward her. “Run! You run! I’ll keep them busy. Just get as far away as you can!” She pushed me off behind her back toward Geno’s former body and stepped in to shield me from the brothers. 

“Just run! Run!” She hollered over her shoulder as motioned with her wand to ready her counter move. 

There was nothing I could do for now but trust her. I wasn’t going to fight my husband and brother-in-law. I couldn’t possibly. So I sprinted for the other side of the room toward the large set of doors that weren’t in the direction of anyone else. I wasn’t sure what was behind them, but it had to be better than this. 


	23. Everything that Matters Breaks in Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter.

After decades of running, driving go-karts, and playing some sports in heels you think I would be prepared for this, but my shoes catch on the craggy, pock-marked black floor. My legs straightened out and I fell forward. My hands caught me, but the floor was rough and dug into my skin cutting up my palms. 

There was no time for me to fret over it, I pushed myself to my feet and went for the door with the sounds of Rosalina holding Mario and Luigi at bay. The room we were in felt larger than it should be, larger than it had been moments before I fell. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ruin’s voice boomed from all around me and inside of my head. I ignored her. I was still trying to come to grips with the gravity of this whole thing. Ruin was my own blood, my ancestor in the flesh who was a celebrated hero and venerated throughout the world with feasts and prayers of thanks. The tightness in my chest grew and all I could do was run and concentrate on not faltering in my gait again. 

The door was right there, Ruin’s continued her verbal assault. “You’re too cowardly to face me yourself. You let your people suffer for weeks and did nothing about it. Maybe I should be their ruler—end their miserable lives…” 

My hands touched the doors finally and they vibrated from the force of me hitting them. Near the center, where the door was split, was a small handle. I tugged at it pushing the door outward with everything left in me. Blood from the wounds in my palms pooled under my hands and dripped down around my wrists as I forced the door open. It was so heavy and slow moving, but the moment I could squeeze through I did, running out onto a huge balcony that over looked the castle estates. I froze, the water in the distance sparkled as a haze of smoke rose up from its surface. 

Jonathan Jones and a group of pirates were assaulting the shore in a battle with Ruin’s troops. How much of what Ruin had in the way of troops were my people or others trapped in her thrall? How was I to reconcile this? And what did she want? Why would she do this? 

A warm wind whipped around the deck, I put my back to it and ran, circling the spire and heading around what I hoped was the spiraling path we saw from the outside. 

“Where are you going?” Ruin asked. “There’s nothing for you up there.” 

“Let them go,” I said to no one that I could see, hoping that whatever allowed her to communicate with me worked two ways. “Let them go and I’ll come back.” 

Ruin laughed and for a split second I thought that I could see her sneering smile flash across my vision. “You’re in no position to bargain with me.” 

“You have my husband. You’ve seen that I can’t stop you—I’m-I’m not even a threat. What do you want from me?” 

“First I want you to suffer!” 

The force of something hitting me from behind just above my right kidney pushed me to the ground. My crown bounced off of my head, tumbling over the edge of the balcony. Pain flooded my senses a moment later. Something was sticking through my stomach and back like a huge spear. It seemed to burn under my skin and I could feel fiery fingers of sensation forking through my body. 

I rolled over onto my side to glare down at the gapping hole in my dress and skin. Raised, purple veins were spreading out from the spot a black glassy javelin was jutting out of me. My fingers tightened around the shaft of the thing further up and I tried to pull the thing. It seemed to have hooked onto something inside of me and my attempt to move it caused the pain to go from excruciating to blinding. 

The skin of my hands was further torn on the surface of the thing and I gritted my teeth and screamed.

“I would love to pull the skin off of your body in thin strips, but that seems a little advanced to be doing just yet. We’ll start with simple pain!” With that final word Ruin was standing above me, her eyes flashed with toxic vitriol as she grabbed the hilt of the obsidian shard and shoved it roughly causing it to slide further through my body. 

“Please…” The word leaked out of my mouth behind a ragged scream. I could taste my own blood, I could smell it as it pooled around my, seeping between my legs and soaking my dress against my thigh. 

“We’re quite durable, you and I,” Ruin said with a grunt when she let me fall to the ground. She stepped over me, kicking my face with the side of her bare foot. “You never learned to properly harness your gifts. You’ve never learned _anything_. You’ve depended on the emotion and passion of others to get you where you are. Your kingdom runs itself because of what you are, but you’ve never had need to really sho the world what you’re made of.” 

Ruin ripped the spear of glass out of me and tossed it aside, introducing a whole new dimension of pain to the wound. She clubbed me in the face a few times for good measure, knocking my head against the ground. My hair kept the first few hits from digging in, but I started to go dull, my eyes wouldn’t open all the way, and something warm and sticky pooled behind my head. 

Then she pulled my arm until it popped out of place at the shoulder, I arched my back letting out a scream that was muffled by my hair. Ruin’s lips were against my ear when she next spoke. “Sure, there’s a bit of me that pokes its way through from time to time. Your outburst at the bedding ceremony, for instance. But your bloodline is doomed to be equal in power to me, but pathetic in your resolve…” 

Music cut her off, a rehearsed march with booming horns and a thunderous drum filled the air. It was a song I recognized instantly, but hadn’t heard used in a long time—that I had first heard used when the Doom Ship attacked my Kingdom all those years ago. Bowser’s airship battle march, apparently one he had a band to play to strike fear into hearts of his enemies during the Civil War. 

“You have taken an eye from me,” Bowser’s voice boomed over the PA system of his Clown Car, the one that I knew to be leading the charge. “Now I will take everything from you!” 

Explosive canon-fire rocked the air as the spire was bombarded with artillery. Ruin moved grab me up by the neck when someone tackled her from the side, knocking her to the ground and rolling away in a blur of bright oranges and yellows. 

It was s struggle to turn my head, but I already knew Daisy was there for me. She rose to her feet, dusting off her dress. 

“We’ve got you, Peaches. You’re safe.” Daisy gave a little nod and one of her patented smirks. 

“She’s too much. Please go!” I managed. 

Ruin charged Daisy, but Bowser came hurdling through the air like a massive ball of spikes and scales. He knocked Ruin into the wall, pinning her with his weight and making an effort to bite down on her head. She caught him by each jaw and pried them open, keeping him from putting the full weight of his mouth on her head. 

Bowser let out a blast of fire, jerking his head up and then hammered her face with his huge, leathery fists. The force of the hits pushed Ruin into the blackened glass of the tower, cracking the structure around her. 

Daisy ran to me, scooping me up in her arms and cradling me against her chest. “Peaches, are you okay?” 

“No. That’s a dumb question.” 

She let out a short laugh. “You’re not going to die here. Not like this. Just hang in there, try to heal.” 

The thing was I had been trying. I had been trying since I got stabbed. Ruin must have done something to me. 

“I can’t.” 

Daisy cupped face in her hands, muttering some words over and over. They were airy and light and as she said them they became more of a whisper. But always incomprehensible. A spell. 

“It’s regenerative,” she explained. “I’m not as good as you, but the longer you’re untouched the better it’ll get.” 

Bowser was still pounding away at my doppelgänger, Ruin. I had to wonder if all of those times I had spurned him gave this some sort of cathartic meaning, but this was probably just about his lost eye. 

His element of surprise tactic had worked, but not for long. Ruin knocked him back with a deflecting blow from her arm and caught him out of midair _by the tail_. She slung him once and sent him flying out into the air toward his fleet of ships. 

I could make the Mudra and grab him out of the air to keep him safe, but I was down an arm and barely able to hold up my own head. Daisy tensed up on me, hugging me closer as Bowser began to sink out of the air toward the ground. 

And then a portion of the wall of the spire exploded outward and Mario and Luigi toppled out, unconscious. Rosalina floated through the fissure created in the structure and with a flourish of her wand pulled Bowser safely out of the air and teleported him back onto the large balcony where we all stood. 

Rosalina walked toward Ruin, her stride quickening as she went. Ruin dropped into a runner’s stance, but instead sent purple echos of herself to attack. With a few deft swipes of her wand, Rosalina cut through all of them and sent a bolt of energy rocketing across the balcony toward Ruin. 

In a cloud of ashy smoke, Ruin vanished from sight only to appear once the energy bolt had struck the railing behind her. 

“Stay away from my mother, you archaic bitch!” Rosalina held the wand trained on Ruin as she circled around toward me.

I could practically hear Bowser’s shock pop onto his face before he spoke. “Your what…you’re?” 

Mario and Luigi were knocked out cold for this, so Rosalina’s secret was mostly safe, but how much longer would whatever she was hiding matter. 

“It all makes sense now,” Ruin closed her eyes. “You’re not like this because you’re some outsider, you’ve got a stake in where this goes.” 

Rosalina gave a slight nod. “And I won’t repeat my old mistakes!” As she spoke her voice switched sources; a second Rosalina was next to Ruin with the discarded obsidian spear. She rammed it into the doppelgänger’s chest, driving her back. A third Rosalina and a forth dashed through taking off Ruin’s arms with slashes from their wands. The wind seemed to pick up as a melodic chant filled the air.

With Ruin pinned and partially helpless, flashes of light bisected the air of the balcony as other Rosalinas appeared with blinding speed flying on a collision course with Ruin. Each one circling around to make impact from different angles that stunned Ruin until she was staggering in circles with her skin flaking off onto the ground to reveal only the oily darkness beneath. 

Ruin’s arms hung lifelessly by her sides, blackened forms replacing the ones that the pair of Rosalinas had sliced away. She snarled and growled as the violent display went on with the army of clones threw themselves at their enemy. 

This spell was familiar to me, though I had never bothered to learn the ritual. Simulacrum—I had been told it was too much for a person to handle. It wasn’t worth the risk. 

Rosalina was on her knees now, blood running from the corners of her mouth, her eyes, her nose. Her breathing was slow and steady, but she looked to be on the edge of losing herself. The expression on her face said it all. _She planned to kill herself._

The mistake she said she wouldn’t repeat—she would give her life to protect us. She would lose herself in this spell. 

“Rosalina, stop!” I said through the blood in my mouth. “Stop it!” 

The simulacrum intensified, more copies of Rosalina were rushing through the packed space, their impact causing them to explode against Ruin further jostling her stance. 

“Stop girl!” Bowser went for Rosalina, but some of the clones knocked him to the ground and held him in place with their translucent bodies. 

Rosalina gritted her teeth hard. The blood from her eyes and nose was running into her mouth now with more blood running down her chin, dripping from her face. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” she said against the strain. 

There was so little of Ruin left now, she was just a skeletal form with ridged, protruding ribs made of shadowy smoke that seemed to thin with each hit. Maybe Rosalina could stop her, but this wasn’t the way we did thing. We didn’t trade others for our safety. 

“Rosalina. Come on, Rosa, you have to stop!” Daisy yelled from her spot near the wall. The sheer force of the clones hitting Ruin had nearly pushed her off of her feet and she was forced to find something to hold onto. 

Pushing myself onto my feet with the last bit of strength. I stumbled toward her, holding my useless arm in my other hand to cut down on the pain. It wasn’t much help. Every step filled me with a painful vibration. I was sure there were broken bones, probably some internal bleeding too, but I had to stop her. 

“Rosalina.” 

Her eyes were red now, her whole body seemed to be slightly see through. If she didn’t quit there would be nothing of her left. After saving Daisy she was already weakened and even at full strength I doubt that she had the power to pull this off and survive. It was unmaking her. 

“Sweetheart.” My words reached no one. 

And then someone grabbed her from the side, hugging her tight to the chest of his overalls, his mustache mashing against the side of her matted blonde hair. “You don’t have to do this,” he said, his voice broken by tears. 

“Luigi!” Daisy said, shielding her eyes now because there was such a light being emitted from Ruin that it was nauseating. 

“Uncle Luigi,” Rosalina said. “Did we…” 

That little slack in the attacks was all that Ruin needed; she righted herself and rocketed out toward Rosalina and Luigi. The movement slowed by the damage she had sustained and she was little more than a gnarled blackened mass, but it hadn’t mattered. She meant for this to be it. The guttural howl that she let out shook the spire. 

“Look out!” Bowser yelled as he managed to buck the clones Rosalina had sent to keep him restrained. 

Time slowed down, but it was the kind of thing that I could see so many different pieces in motion, Rosalina jostled Luigi, trying to shove him away. He held tight to her for a moment, unable to turn in time to see what was coming. I caught a hint of motion where there had previously been none, Mario raised his head with a groggy look in his eyes. Before he could get his bearings or I could say anything to him we saw the same thing: Ruin’s arm jabbed into Luigi’s back, his pushing through him and threatening to break through and get Rosalina. 

Luigi pushed her away at the last moment, sending her bouncing over the ground toward the wall. Ruin’s arm, what was left of it was coming out of the middle of Luigi’s chest, fresh blood soaked to the appendage as she lifted him into the air. Daisy screamed, covering her mouth with her hands and Mario scrambled up from his spot on the ground. 

“Hmm, a waste of a kill shot,” Ruin said as she slung her arm down, casting Luigi. He slide away, but as he left her arm his body blackened and by the time he hit the ground he was just a cloud of loose ash.

There was a pressure in my chest suddenly and I couldn’t get enough air. I staggered, dropping to my good hand and knees, my hair matted with blood as it fell around my face like curtains. 

I heard Mario cry out and by the time I looked up he had sprung off of the ground to land a jumping sucker punch across Ruin’s face. He landed in front of her and managed a few more body shots, yelling in rage as he threw his fists wildly. 

When the surprise wore off she slapped him to the side like a doll and cackled. 

Mario landed on his back, tears running down his cheeks as he looked over to Rosalina where she lay seemingly immobilized. “Why are you doing anything?” He yelled. “You say you know what’s going to happen! What fucking good does that do us? What good are you!” 

Rosalina lay so still I worried she might be dead, then I saw her blink. 

“Why did you come back here? You worthless—“ 

Daisy cut Mario off. “Stop it. Just—you don’t know what you’re saying.” 

“Shut up! He was my brother!” Mario said. 

“And she’s your daughter. She’s our daughter, Mario. The woman you’re calling worthless…” I managed. 

Mario looked at Rosalina like he had never seen her before. “Our daughter?” 

Ruin stalked toward Rosalina, her back was to me by this point, but I could sense the smug content in her movements. She thought she had already won. She really knew she didn’t have to kill Luigi or Rosalina or anyone. We were at her mercy and I was unable to do anything. 

In what would have usually sent me into a fit of anxiety and rendered me useless, another emotion found me instead. A heat seemed to come from my body, ebbing from beneath my skin as I pushed myself to my feet. The pain in my arm was gone. Despite there being a hole _through me_ it did little to hold me back. My skin being bruised and swollen didn’t matter anymore. Everything just turned into a wash of white light. 

The light was coming from me, starting in the middle of my chest, near the wound Ruin had given me, but it spread to my whole body until my skin was glowing white and filling every corner of the balcony where we stood with bright light. It occurred to me right then that my feet were no longer on the ground. I was floating, toes pointed downward toward Ruin.

She turned to glare back at me and our eyes locked. A look of stunned surprise washed over her face. “What?” She said, her voice was little more than raspy sound that seemed carried on the wind. 

“There she is,” Rosalina said, lifting her head. Her lips curled into a half smile. “There’s Mother…” 

“Izanami,” said Ruin. “So you’re finally waking up.” 

“Why are you calling me that?” I screamed. 

Ruin shrugged, though her form was barely humanoid anymore. She continued to break down, even after Rosalina’s attack had been stopped. What she did to Luigi seemed to cause her to lose more of herself. 

Goodness, Luigi…

“Izanami no mikoto,” Ruin said. “We’re one in the same—two halves of a goddess split from one another a millennia ago. You are the stagnant force of Creation and I am that of Ruin…” she explained. “There’s nothing separating your power from mine except your conservative attitude toward of things around you. Why else would a Kingdom stuck in the past exist in a modern world?” 

“You killed Luigi for this!” I managed, the light in my chest swelled and it was brighter all around me for a moment. 

“You’ve hidden away for long enough, my sister, my other half—I have a surprise for you. I believe you spoke earlier?” Ruin’s form twitched, her back arching until the darkened outlines of what would be her breasts were jutting up into the air. She floated back, away from all of us and opened her legs a new creature to crawl out of the shadowy recess between her thighs. 

This new creature was purple and back mixed together like swirling clouds moving across the night sky. He opened his mouth, his voice distinctly male as if to yawn. “Izanami,” he said, his voice was the same one I had heard the day of my wedding when the attack happened. 

It dawned on me that the other voice, the female half had been Ruin. There was two of them all along. She was…carrying him inside of her? 

“Izanami, my beloved, my sisters—finally we can be whole again!” He said. 

In the space when all of this was happening Bowser had gotten to Mario and Rosalina, huddling them together. When he spoke again I was surprised to see them united near the side of the spire. “What the fuck? Did that guy crawl out of her?” 

The other creature was hanging from between her legs, he hooked his body around to fix his eyeless gaze on Bowser. “Ah, a member of the Koopa Clan? In my day you were slaves—not even fit to set foot in the manor house.” 

When Bowser went to move toward it, he was blasted back by a wave of force that pushed everyone sliding. Everyone except me. 

I turned to see Daisy laying on her back, sobbing hopelessly. “Daisy…” 

“Look at me when I am talking to you!” Bellowed this new creature. 

_Izanagi…his name is Izanagi._

“You’re Izanagi and…we were gods, the three of us. Or the two of us. Gods and…siblings,” I could help but make a disgusted face. 

“Peach what are you saying?” Yelled Mario. 

I couldn’t even answer him. I couldn’t tell where this was coming from. It wasn’t something I was taught or told, but I _knew._

They killed Luigi and they wanted to essentially kill Peach, the me that currently is whatever is left of this part of a god that they called a sister and lover…they wanted to erase me and this whole world.

“I betrayed you,” I continued. “I broke away and stopped you from enacting more of your cruel machinations! You were awful and that’s why there’s two halves of me. That’s what happened in the Ruined Kingdom—I destroyed you and left behind this power.” Maybe in the past a version of me knew that the power to stop them would be needed again, maybe I planned for this to happen?

Izanagi stretched out his hand. “It’s not to late to come back. All can be forgiven!” 

The light around me marred everything from vision, consuming the walls of the dark spire and burning seemingly right through Ruin and Izanagi. My fists tightened and something electric pumped through my veins. 

“My name is Queen Peach Toadstool and I have a kingdom, and a husband, and friends! I have a duty to this world that you seem to have no care for and I will not be erased. I will not be snuffed out to suit you!” 

I stomped down hard and the whole spire shattered, the balcony around us, the tower, all of it turned to dust. Mario, Bowser, Daisy, Rosalina and Geno’s body were suspended in the air where they had been. Ruin and Izanagi levitated where they had. The force of my stomp pushed the Bowser’s airship back and below us the fields that had been blackened and browned with the power of Ruin turned green as the wave washed over everything. 

The sun was brighter as a hole opened in the clouds. The light within me died down, but the energy was still there. In a flash of color I was zooming across the sky, my arms and dress spread out behind me as I rocketed at Ruin and Izanagi. The shock on their faces barely had time to register before I collided with them. 

My hand delved into the center of them, where they were joined. I ripped into the dark swirling mass of color that made up their form and pushed my way inside of them. First my hand and then my had and shoulders until I was up to my waist. Where I ended up was just darkness and the two of them—they were huddled together in a small pool of light. 

They reached up toward me, the pair of them that existed in this…space inside of themselves, and held up their palms. A wave of force pushed back on me, almost knocking me back out of whatever this place was. I clung to the edge of the hole I had made, worming my way into their world. The world inside of them. 

“Peach!” Mario’s voice was coming from all around me, I couldn’t see him or the others anymore. 

I was most of the way into this place, clawing through the black void to get to them. My teeth were barred so tight that my gums hurt, I could feel something inside of me pop, blood was rushing from my nose again. There was no time to heal, no time to stop…”

“Peaches!” Daisy was calling me from outside, she sounded so distant. 

“I show you stagnant!” I growled. “I’ll create nothingness out of you! I’ll show you just whole world of torment for what you’ve done. You killed him! You tried to kill me!” 

My mind was hyper focused, I could only see them now and they looked afraid. Good. The air around me brightened, white light spread out from me, infecting this place. It was easier to move now. Their attempts to block me or slow me no longer did anything. I wasn’t just Peach anymore. My skin seemed to be made of light now, my dress was gone, but I didn’t fear my nudity or worry that anyone would think me improper. 

Ruin was within reach, she was the ringleader. She was holding the two of them together. I knew it as much as I knew Mario loved me. 

I grabbed her inside of the mouth, taking her top and bottom jaw one in each hand and pulled. She tried to fight back, to bite me or close her mouth and push me out, but her face started to split, lines of white light tore through her cheeks and down the sides of her throat. She let out a blood curdling scream as black fluid flooded up through her neck. The sludge was spewed into my face as she gurgled her plea. 

“Izanami, no!” Izanagi yelled, his voice becoming more frantic. His imposing nature was gone. He struggled to grab hold of me or push me off, but I was out of his reach. 

Ruin started to split further down, her body pulling apart with stringy bits of black flesh. She squealed, her voice growing weaker as I pulled her head open further.

“You would kill us for the life of a human? For the love of that _man?_ ” Izanagi asked. 

“I’m killing you because you tried to drop my castle on my head!” 

Ruin exploded, the blast ripped through Izanagi, shredding him into little pieces and blowing me flying backward through the darkness. I flipped end over end for what seemed like hours, the cold blackness of this otherworld making it impossible to tell what was up or down. 

Then someone grabbed me from behind, a thick leathery hand with a claws. Then another hand grabbed my shoulder. And another my other shoulder. I popped into the real world again with Bowser, Mario, and Daisy holding onto me. We were back in my castle, back in my throne room with the sun streaming down through a new stained glass window—one depicting Mario and I holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes. 

“You’re lucky I know how to conjure up an extra dimensional portal,” Bowser said with a sideways glance as he rubbed the top of my head. 

Mario grabbed me around the waist, burying his head in my chest as he sobbed. I rubbed the back of neck, feeling the bristling hair under my fingers. 

“Shhh, shhh,” I shushed him, pulling him away from me to kiss his face. “I know. I know—I just, I don’t know what to do.” 

“My brother—he was a part of me, you know? How do I continue on?” Mario asked. 

I didn’t have the answer to that. I still don’t. 

“With my help,” I said. 

“With all of our help,” Bowser added. “You do this because you’ve got a duty to your kingdom and your people. And there’s the future,” he pointed to Rosalina. 

Rosalina was on her feet again. She waddled over, her body at its limit. “This was my last chance to save my uncle,” she said. “I have done this thousands of times and tried all manner of ways to make the outcome different. Every time he dies, whether he dies protecting someone else or dies because he’s grieving someone,” she looked to Daisy. Then Rosalina got down next to Mario. “Do you know what I have learned interacting with thousands of versions of my uncle? He was the greatest man—no one is like him. And he really loved you, all of you…” she said. 

Daisy began to sob loudly. She walked over to the steps around my throne and sat down on them. “That fucker…he always had to be the hero. He always had something to prove.” Daisy held her hand up to look at the ring on her finger—the ring Luigi had given her. 

“Dad, Aunt Daisy? Why don’t you come with me? Please, just for a bit?” Asked Rosalina. She took Mario’s hand and led him over to Daisy to help her up. They followed her out of the room together, hand locked tight. Mario glanced back at me as they moved into one of the corridors. 

I walked to the dais where the thrones were, running my hand along the arm rest at the side of my chair. The second throne was just here now, like the stained glass with Mario and I and like the rest of my castle. I don’t know, maybe I willed it all into being? Maybe there was something to this whole god-thing?

There were explosions outside, Bowser ran to the door and opened it to look out at the rolling hills around the castle and Toad Town off in the distance. Fireworks arced across the sky in the distance; the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom knew of our victory. They didn’t know what it had cost, not exactly. In the center of the front garden of the castle, just past the drawbridge and moat was another new addition to the castle: a huge memorial statue to Luigi.

I sat down in my throne. Didn’t do that often. In the past I had shrugged off being an active ruler. The kingdom ran itself pretty well, probably because I have the luck of a god. I was still soaked in my own blood and sore all over. My hands reached up to feel the top of my head, my hair was a mess and I had lost my crown. 

With a snap of my fingers I conjured a new one, one made for a regal queen, not the child’s ornament I had worn before. I pressed it into the top of my hair, nestling it in my blonde curls. Across the throne room, leaning against a column I spotted Geno back in his borrowed body. He gave me a little nod before vanishing from existence. 

Bowser noticed him too and turned back to me. “I was going to ask him for a lift,” he said. 

“You’re not going to kidnap me or steal my castle, are you?” I asked. 

He shook his head. “To be honest, I’m kind of scared to try,” he said. “What are you going to do now?” Bowser asked. 

Outside of the castle we could hear them now, voices growing loud as the moved closer. Their chants shook the very foundation of my palace. “Long live the queen!” They chanted. “Long live the queen!” 

_What am I going to do now?_

I sunk into my throne, exasperated with the day’s events and with the question posed by my former enemy. 

“The war is over! Long live the Queen.” 

I didn’t have the answer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thanks for sticking around for this little journey. I am planning to do a sequel story in the continuity and it should be starting shortly here. Thanks for reading and if it's not too much trouble I would love to hear from you in a review!


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